If you don't know // Ashton irwin 5sos

Prologue

The rain was pouring down on Jake and I whilst lightening and thunder boomed up above us. The news did say it would be 'stormy' but we didn't think it would get this bad so, we decided to go for a walk anyway like we always do after school on Wednesdays.Walking was our thing, for some reason we enjoyed pondering around holding hands whilst listening to music. It kept us calm, and allowed us to talk about stuff. However this time we were fighting.

The wind and rain was blowing left, right and center making my hair fly across my face. My clothes were now dripping wet, making me feel uncomfortable as it clung to my skin.I was shaking as it was freezing- it was about 2 degrees because of the storm and i was trying to maintain my body heat.

I don't even know how Jake and I started fighting; we were talking normally one second and screaming at each other the next. I know Jake and I have been a bit rocky lately but, this was blown out of proportion. Whilst part of me felt good about the fact that Jake and I were letting out a lot of bottled up anger we had built up inside of us over the past month or so, another part of me felt like falling to pieces.

Jake treats me like shit when he gets angry and everyone knows it; Luke,Calum, Michael, ask anyone and they will agree. Jake doesn't mean to hurt me, he just gets angry. But, I've never seen him get this angry.

'ELLE, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!' My eyes were pooling with tears, blurring my vision making it even harder to see him despite the rain and hair in my face. I was shocked that he was screaming at me for hardly no reason at all and i didn't even know what to say back. i tried to speak up but the lump in my throat made no words came out.

The burning sensation in my chest started to get worse making it harder for me to breathe causing me to shake even more. I wanted to walk away. I needed to shut him out and focus on my breathing but i just couldn't do it. I need to get out of here before i loose it, i thought to myself but, i was scared he would just pull me back.

'ELEANOR!' Jake screamed startling me. He knows I hate my full name and that's exactly why he used it, to get my attention. He lowered his voice slightly and then started speaking again realizing i was now listening.

'Eleanor, if you don't answer me right now i will walk away and leave you in this god forsaken park in the rain!' Jake snapped, as he glared down on me. My whole body was starting to shake not just my arms and my legs felt numb, this has been happening a lot recently since that night.

I sunk to the floor, and pushed my back against the wall and bringing my knees close into my chest, sobbing into my hands trying to shut out his voice as I curled up like a ball.

'For god sake Elle. What the HELL is wrong with you?' he stared down at me. He knew what was wrong with me, I haven't been myself since last month, since the day my life came crashing down, he just didn't understand. Well that's what I've been telling myself anyway... I just can't admit to myself that he doesn't actually care.

'You just don't get it do you?! My parents died two months ago Jake! Two months ago, and I killed them and I can't even remember crashing the fucking car or the last thing I said to them. I'm on medication that makes me feel depressed all the time and i could really do without you and all this shit right now!' I finally stood up to Jake and it felt so good, maybe he would listen to me now.

'Elle you need to stop shutting everyone out we just want to help yo...'

' I don't want their help or yours to be honest, i don't even want to talk about it, want to just to be on my own. I only came to walk with you today to tell you to give me some space for a day or two and now were arguing again...is it that hard to leave me be for two days? I need to sort my life out... I just need you to understand that and be there for me,' i wailed.