Chapter 6: Broken Hearts

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Sophia

My last professor dismissed us early, so I was able to move forward with my plan; heading to Liam's last classroom for the afternoon, which I knew because he'd given me a picture of his class schedule so I would be aware of his comings and goings. He was really sweet.

But I just didn't love him the way he loved me.

Right on cue, once I started to wait outside his classroom, the white door swung open.

A barrage of cute and handsome guys filed into the hallway, and a few of them shot me wondering gazes as they scattered into the corridors. Hmm. Mostly male students.

Liam did mention he was taking up Multimedia Arts.

"Hey dude, look, it's that Sophia chick you keep raving about," a grey-eyed teen pointed out to a tall blond, nudging him on the arm as he did so.

"Sophia!" Liam's face lit up upon seeing me. He saw the bouquet in my arms and smiled.

"Hi, Liam," I greeted him. "May I speak to you in private?"

The blond took a step closer to me. "You never needed to ask, Sophia."

Oh, why did he have to smile at me as though I was everything to him?This was going to be much more difficult than I had already estimated it to be.

Hugging the red roses to my chest, I led the way along the corridor, unsure where to go.

"Li, I need to tell you something," I began carefully while we walked.

He inserted his hands into his pockets and gave me a grin. "Fire away," he said.

I looked at him. Really looked at him. And I felt a painful knot form inside my stomach.

Liam Garcia was kind, smart, and thoughtful. The perfect gentleman and ideal boyfriend.

He was nice, yes. But it never came to the point of me liking him in a romantic way.

I couldn't explain it. There just too many things in life that were hard to fathom, and one of them was love. All I knew was, when the right person came at the right time, then that was it. My endgame. When my heart would beat uncontrollably, when I would sacrifice everything for that one person,and I would apologize for no reason whatsoever, that would be it.

But it just wasn't him.

I told him in a quivering voice: "I don't want to give you false hopes, Liam. I'll only hurt you more with what you're doing. I don't deserve you."

The tall blond stopped walking.

For four years, he'd been my friend. He'd always been there for me through thick and thin. Courting me, sticking by my side and making me laugh. He was too good, too perfect for me.

We weren't compatible.

His amber eyes flitted towards my brown ones, and I fought back a sob at his painful smile.

"I'm willing to get hurt, Sophia," he told me sadly. "Call me stupid. Call me insane, but I love you so much I don't give a damn about the emotional damage. That's how love works, right? You're ready to get hurt. I know I've lost the battle from the beginning, but let me ask you, do I have a chance against him in the war?"

I didn't know how to answer him. I suddenly felt a big lump in my throat.

"You're different from him, Liam. And what I hate the most is you always compare yourself to him." I reached for his hand and held it tightly. "There will be a girl who will appreciate all of your efforts, but unfortunately, it won't be me. I love you, but not in the way you want. You deserve better."

Our eyes met for a second time, and all I could see was his sheer pain.

"You can't decide what's better for me, Sop." He was struggling to suppress his tears.

"I'm the one who opens your jar of peanut butter when the lid is too tight. I'm your number one fan whenever you participate in debates and non-academic activities, the one who stays with you when you're feeling blue. The one who walks you to and from your classes. The one who always tried to cheer you up whenever you cry over him. The one who wipes your tears away. I was always the one next to you, but why are you always so far away? Do you even understand how much it kills me for my efforts to be in vain?" His voice cracked, and his lips trembled.

Hot tears pooled in my eyes. My heart ached as I stammered: "I-I do a-appreciate everything you've done, Liam. But I don't want you to keep hoping for nothing."

"Do you think I'm not undergoing torture now? Sophia, I badly want to die to escape this pain."

Lines of tears aggressively slid down both his cheeks. Through his tears, he said: "You of all people know how painful it is to wait for nothing. Sop, I poured all my time and love on you. But to this day, I still can't replace him in your heart. I'll be fine. Just let me be. The sting will subside eventually. Just please let me love you,even from afar. Even as just a friend." He smiled.

He added: "I'll always be here for you."

Now it was I who was crying violently. I couldn't control the torrent of tears gushing down my face. I could taste the watery salt in my mouth as my body shook with undisguised sorrow.

"I'm so sorry, Li," I sobbed.

Liam cradled my cheeks in his hands, wiping away my tears using his thumbs.

"I don't want you to cry because of me," he told me, still cupping my face. "Let me brace myself for your final rejection. I'm just not ready for the permanent blow. I'm just scared, Sophia. Scared of losing you." His hands left my face. One of his hands found mine and gave it a tender squeeze.

"See you tomorrow, my princess. Be careful on your way to Quezon," he said to me.

I stood there, motionless, as he let his fingers slip away from mine. I was still pressing the bouquet of red roses against my chest as I watched his retreating figure shrink back.

"I'll text you when I get home," he called out faintly, then he disappeared down the stairs.

My cheeks were still wet, but I brushed them off using the back of my hand. I sniffed.

Princess. He gave me that nickname soon after we became friends in high school. It was because of the name Princess Sophia, that gave him the witty idea to start calling me that.

He was too good to me. My heart couldn't take it.


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