Falter | TWD

Chapter 8: Overwhelmed

I laid my head back against the tree, watching the stars coming through the leafs. After I left Negan, I just picked a tree and sat down. The few hours I had been here, I thought.

Everything has been happening so quickly. I went from being on my own, to be with Negan, finding out my brother was alive, watching him die, and meeting new people. It all happened in a matter of months. And the most recent happened in the span of a week or so.

I had always thought that Negan created a persona for his people, but maybe he made a sweet one for me instead. When he first found me, I was conflicted with so many emotions. Anger, terror and somehow comfort. The fear and anger had vanished once I got to know him.

Now they're back. I had come to hate him. Despise him. When he swung down on Abraham, something clicked. I realized that the man I had fell for wasn't who I thought he was.

Just the fact that he left me behind a few hours ago speaks volumes. His attitude and behavior today wasn't the man I knew. He's always sarcastic, but not in a way that makes you want to break down and cry. Constantly showing off, pushing buttons and burning things for no reason. Before now, he only did things for a purpose.

I looked down to my hands, looking over them and realizing they've become so much more skinny. My hands can do so many things, but even they became weak. It was like a metaphor for how I had become in such a short time.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I pulled myself up to my feet. For some odd reason, I felt the need to go back to the road. Maybe it was because I knew I'd be safer out in the open, nothing could sneak up. Or maybe I subconsciously needed to see the carnage of the mattresses. What ever it was, it pulled me in.

As I made my way through the trees, I could smell the burnt cloth of the mattresses. All it did was add fuel to the fire that had ignited a few hours ago.

I kept my eyes forward until something dark caught my eyes. I quickly stepped behind a tree and listened. Silence. Cautiously, I poked my head around and saw what looked like a black wall. Did they stack up the burnt mattresses?

I crept forward and started making out the shape. It was a truck. I shook my head and took in a deep breath. I was nervous.

Hopefully there was no one sleeping in the truck. I desperately looked for a stick on the ground, only finding a thin switch.

As I got closer, I realized something astonishing. It was Negan's truck. There's no way he would've left it behind. Maybe it ran out of gas? So many different scenarios flooded my mind, but none of them added up.

"It's about time Tiger." I nearly jumped out of my skin. Negan was sitting in the truck, the window rolled halfway down.

"You stayed?" I slowly made my way to him. He ran a hand down his face, trying to wake himself back up.

"Of course doll. I needed to make sure you were okay." I squinted at him. Not totally believing his words.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier. I know that whole mattress thing was a little too far. We could've brought them back to the sanctuary."

I stayed silent. My lips formed a straight line and my expression didn't change. Negan sighed opened the door to the truck.

"Get in," Negan said as he waved his hand towards me.

"No. I still don't forgive you." I didn't. What he did really fucking irked me.

"Well there will be no forgiving if something sneaks up on your ass. So please, just get in the damn truck."

I let out a huff and climbed into the truck. He was right. I closed the door behind me and cranked up the window. Once it was closed, I leaned against the door and crossed my legs in the seat. Negan did the same, except he pulled one knee up to his chest.

Where Negan was sitting, the moon casted light on his face. He really was a fine looking man. Strong nose, scruffy beard, dimples and those big hazel eyes. It almost wasn't fair.

He looked out the windshield. "Also, I didn't mean to almost throw you around. I was just so startled by what you said. Did you... did you really mean that?" He asked as he looked to me once again, our eyes making contact.

I was dumbfounded. I had never seen this side of him before. He was truly hurt by my words. And I felt guilty.

"I did." I responded. "It's horrible, what you did. And I know you may have been showing off for your men. But that was ridiculous. Who would even think of doing that Negan?"

He nodded and turned his attention to the zipper at the end of his jacket. As he fiddled with it, I felt even worse.

"I honestly don't know if I can forgive you for that," I stated. But I continued, "but I do want to thank you."

He looked up at me with a questioning hope in his eyes.

"I'm glad you stayed to make sure I was okay. I really wanted you to stop me one last time, but now I know that would've been bad. I was so upset, it would've just made it worse."

"I figured you needed space since you kept walking faster. When I got back to the boys, they were all curious about what happened. I told them to mind their own business and made them leave. I knew you would walk out into the clearing at some point, so I waited."

A slight smile crept onto my face. He placed a hand on my knee, and I covered it with my own.

"I'll stay up and keep watch. You can get some sleep," he said. I nodded and I laid my head against the seat next to me.

{oof sorry it's been over a month. May literally flew by for me but now it's summer so I should have more time. Also, did y'all hear about Andrew and Lauren leaving the show?! I was shocked!}