Mistake (B.S.)

S E V E N

When I returned home, Adam was sitting on the couch—a drink in hand. He hadn't showered, shaved or even changed clothes. I dropped my purse in the floor, tossing my keys into the dish by the foyer, making a beeline for the stairs.

"Charlotte... baby, come here." He said.

I closed my eyes tightly, cringing at the sound of my name falling from his mouth. I stopped—contemplating on getting the confrontation over with. It was bound to happen eventually. I turned back around, seeing that Adam was already approaching me.

Something about the sight of him repulsed me. The way he cautiously made his way to me like I was some sort of ravaged beast. The ravaged part was probably true, but a beast? No. Despite everything Adam had done, I found myself already accepting of his act of indiscretion outside of our relationship. For some reason, I had called out Bill for betraying me, but yet didn't feel the need to call out Adam for his wrongdoings. It all boiled down to this... I simply didn't care.

I cared about Bill, which was why I took offense to him keeping me in the dark about what Adam had done. As for Adam, it was expected of him to do what he did to me.

"Charlotte... please, hear me out." Adam pleaded, setting his drink on the entry table. He couldn't even look at me.

"I already know what you're going to say." Although I didn't know precisely what bullshit he would feed me, I knew along the lines of what it entailed. I'm sorry, it was a mistake, she doesn't mean anything to me. I could already hear him in my head saying those things.

"I'm sorry." There it went—the first line to what I was sure he would say. "I didn't mean for this to happen- it was never my intention to hurt you. I didn't want this to happen... ever. I didn't even want her-"

"So why, then? I saw her, Adam," I folded my arms, feeling exposed—totally vulnerable. "You can't look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't want her. She's so... attractive! It makes me wonder why you're even with me, she's clearly a better option." I started toward the stairs again, wishing we could go back in time; when I didn't know anything about Lindsay—when Bill was still my friend. I would be happy to ignorantly coexist with the beautiful fair boy I didn't stand a chance with.

"You have to understand, Lindsay and I go way back. It wasn't a romantic thing, we just... it just happened. We started talking about old times and there were drinks involved-"

"You're lying." I felt my lips purse against my will, looking to Adam justified. "I know it's happened more than once. I also know it's been going on for a while. You have an opportunity to tell me everything, the truth and yet... you're still trying to lie your way out of trouble. You're not in trouble, Adam. You're a grown man, and to be perfectly honestly," There it goes—word vomit creeping up to the back of my throat. "I don't care anymore. I don't care what you do or who you do it with. I haven't loved you in months, since you started going away on business. You're selfish... you don't care about me. You only care about yourself."

"That's not true." Adam protested.

I ignored him, making my way up the stairs. I had said all that I needed to say—I didn't care anymore. I was already trying to come up with a plan to move back home. I barely had any funds, very little savings, but I knew I had to do something to get away. Asking Bill for help was off the table now; not that I'd ask him for it anyway. He wasn't my friend. I hate to admit it, but what we had done was nothing short of a mistake... I realized that on the drive back home.

"Charlotte, don't me shut me out! Adam spoke a little too loud. I ignored his pleas, shutting the door in his face. I wanted to be alone—I wanted to run away and never come back. But Adam disregarded my efforts of isolation, barreling through the door behind me.

"What are you gonna do? You gonna leave me?"

"I plan on it, yes." I admitted; my voice a little too small. It sounded like I was unsure, but I was. The only unsureness of me leaving was when.

"Where will you go?" Adam leaned into the doorframe, almost daring me to pack. He was testing me—trying to push me to break; to fly off the handle so he could use it against me. I wasn't falling for it.

"I don't know yet. I'm gonna have to make arrangements."

"You're leaving me? You're... you're really gonna leave me?" Adam pushed a little harder, trying his best to get me to crack. I knew Adam well enough to know he was itching for a reaction—he needed me angry to prove I cared.

I didn't.

The truth was, I cared about someone else—someone that just an hour before, claimed to love me. I wanted to believe him, but it was too good to be true. He was just trying to save his own ass, to appear as a good guy. Bill had held that persona in my eyes for far too long. I was certain he just wanted to keep that façade going—uncaring whether or not I got hurt.

No one cared if I got hurt.

"So you don't love me, is that what you're saying?"

"If I had done the same thing to you, wouldn't you want space? Wouldn't you do anything to get away from me?"

"No. I love you, Charlotte. I want to work this out, it was a mistake- a stupid mistake and... I'm sorry."

I stared at him in disbelief, letting the silence hover over us to let it sink in just how ridiculous Adam sounded. By the look on his face, he was oblivious by his own stupidity.

"I want to sleep in separate rooms. I'll move into the guest room until I can make arrangements."

"Arrangements? Arrangements to, what?"

"Leave." I spoke without missing a beat. Although I'd known about Adam's cheating for quite sometime, I was finally standing my ground... but it was all because I was angry for a different reason... I was angry at Bill. I needed someone to take my frustrations out on and Adam, well, he deserved it.

"Please, Charlie... just listen to me."

I froze before letting my hands fall to my sides. Adam never called me "Charlie." Bill was the only other person that called me that. I had to admit, at first it was a little annoying, but now, it was the name I preferred. It hit me—maybe Adam knew that. I suddenly realized that maybe Adam knew what Bill and I had done. It made me question my own integrity—Adam wasn't the only one who had done something wrong.

"Listen to you? Why, everything you say is a lie, you can't be trusted. I just... I don't think we can get past this- I don't think I can get past this. Right now, what you did is... it's unforgivable."

"Then give me some time... please. I'll make it up to you, I swear. Just please, don't leave me."

I thought about it—giving Adam "time" meant that I was giving myself some time to make arrangements.

"I'll think about it." I spat. "In the meantime... sleep in the guest room."