Begin Again | On Hold

01 | metanoia

Let the

ends begin.

love fall.

life start.

01

M E T A N O I A » the journey of changing one's way of life, self, mind or heart

Morning shifts at Life Beat were almost the same – filled with the hustle and bustle of activity, new patients, and tears who had lost someone or were on the verge of losing. Losing was inevitable, Dr. Anushka had already learned this with her years of experience and hence, she was practicing what needed to be done to heal the pain during the loss.

Smiling through it.

It was only when she started observing the world around her that she realized she didn't have the worst life, there were millions who were on the same axis as hers, maybe more tilted. And every time, she had a chance of bringing them back to their original position, she would do it with honesty and determination.

When she entered the room of Mr. Briganza, she was greeted with a soft smile. "I'm glad you're here. Was it too bad?" The smile was too deceptive as he was the one with tubes and bandages attached interconnecting the various parts of the body.

"If it was, then I wouldn't have been standing here." Anushka smiled awkwardly. "I honestly don't know. Dr. Shekhar helped me out in front of the board members but I'm not sure about the future."

"I can always save you," Mr. Briganza chortled, throwing her an innocuous wink. "I'll throw tantrums that I only want to get treated by you."

"And why is that so, Mr. Briganza?" Anushka arched her eyebrows her at him, asking him sweetly.

"Because I love you." The humor behind the line is evident in his undertone yet it upsets Dr. Anushka as the smile dissipated away as soon as it came. She had always been the one who pestered herself by thinking she was someone who wasn't worthy of being loved and cared for.

The reason behind it was a story for another day.

"I'm going to be out of here soon, Anushka," Mr. Bringanza told her. "But before that I want to tell you that – you've a lovely heart and I really hope that one day life starts for you, love falls and ends begin because you deserve that, my child."

Anushka simply smiled at him, her tongue tied at his words. Even though his words reminded her of the incident which drained the last semblance of peace she had, the blessing still felt like a trail of warmth during a winter's night. "I hope that too. Mrs. Briganza would be coming soon so is there anything you want me to smuggle in before that?" She asked, pursing her lips sardonically which excellently hid the face she was always wearing – the one which often slipped occasionally when she felt too much.

"Why can't my wife be like you?" The old man grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

"Because she's amazing and limited edition and deserves better than an annoyingly grumpy, old man who keeps on rambling about his army stories. She deserves the best." A shrill voice erupted. Dr. Anushka turned around with an amused face, her lips contorted into a smile.

"That's not true but thanks, Mrs. Briganza," Anushka blushed while she saw her striding towards the seat next to her husband. She could hear him snort when she took out his lunch box, it was going to be another distasteful bowl of broccoli soup and steam rice for him.

Anushka gave him one last miserable smile, "Have a good day you two. I'll see you guys after the lunch."

The smile whisked away as soon as she went out of the room. For a moment, she felt too claustrophobic because of nothing but herself. The last one week had been nothing but exhausting for her when one of her patients complained about her – it was just her job which was keeping her sane. But now just like everything else, this was going to slip away too. Life was a painful pattern for her now – a familiarly awful echoing of hollowness that resonated through her always.