Darkness of the truth

Chapter - 5( The Revealing)

I was broken. I really couldn't say that to any one. Time was passing in it's schedule but my questions were intact. I had no one to ask anything. Sometimes I thought to ask my grandmother but I could not, don't know why.
Two months have passed, my dad had came. He was looking very normal. I wanted to ask everything but some of the tensions or something else stopped me again and again. I was feeling like hell.
One evening, he was working in his room. He was doing some of stuffs with his laptop. I entered. He was too much busy that he never noticed. I went to him and said "dad!"
He looked at me and said "Hey champ! After a long while I see you here. Come sit.." I sat down on the bed, facing the sofa where dad was sitting in. He was looking happy to have me in his room. He did not know I had already came to clean his room. He also did not know why I was there that time. How could I give him the questions! I was sitting silent for a few seconds. He asked again, "Is everything OK? You are looking frustrated. What happened?" He was looking worried. Finally I asked the matter. " Dad! I want to know something, if you don't mind can I ask?" he replied immediately "yes certainly. Ask whatever you want to know . Don't be hesitate. You can tell me anything, anytime. Say baby." I was till afraid to ask him the truth. The fear of losing him, losing dada. I was in a big confusion. He asked again, '' what's wrong? Are you OK? "
Now I said him with a deep breath," Dad! I found something in your cupboard." I got that paper out and gave that to him. " dad! I know this is a birth certificate. And it's contains my name, maybe it's my certificate. But the place that contains the parent names are blank. Why dad? And if that was a mistake case, so why do you keep the paper in your cupboard? Can I know?" He stared at me. He was stunned. He was looking horrible. He took the glass of water and drink, and sat quite for a while. I was also sat quite. After sometime he looked at me and said, "what do you think? And what do you want to know?" I said, "I can't think anything wrong about you and mom, but I want to know the truth. I was cleaning your room, it was messed up and I found that." He was still looking very worried. I knew I have asked him a very tough question, he'd never had an idea about that. I knew I should not ask, but is that wrong to willing to know the truth! I just wanted to know. Was that wrong! I did not know.
I knew that He could not lie to me. My throat was dry. I glanced at him again. He was looking very frustrated. I downed my head again. And started waiting.
After a while dad started crying, like almost. He was sad, very much. I was shocked. I said immediately "dad! If you don't want to say so don't. But please don't cry! I can't bare this!" he looked and said, "No! You should know everything, and I am sorry. I should tell you everything, but I could not. I could not say anything when I saw you. You were too small to know, even till now. I was afraid to lose you." I was listening silently, what dad was saying. I was wandering that anyhow I was right. Dad started again, "'I will tell you everything, but please don't lose the trust on us. Before eight years I was in Dehradoon for some business issues. I was returning home, in that time a big storm attacked Indias' north part. Communication systems and transport systems of the whole area was destructed. I had to come home but the railway, airways all the way to come was stuck. In this condition I decided to drive. I took my car and started driving. When I was in the highway of Dehra,besides the jungle, suddenly a woman appeared in front of my car. I could not balance properly and I hit her. I immediately got out and went to her. She was injured. She was one step before to death. She had a baby, a new born baby girl in her hand,and a bag. I told her I could take her to hospital but she said that doctors can't save her, she have to die. She gave me the child and tell me to do something, something very weird, very bad! She told me to kill the child. She said that ' kill this child sir! They are coming to find her! Before they took the child with them, kill it. It can destroy everything, you have to kill it sir!' and she died. I couldn't understand what was going on! I was wandering what to do that time. Who was coming to find her? What they wanted to do? And why she wanted to kill the child? Many questions were clicked into my mind. I was in a big trouble. I killed a person, I mean she died by my car. I was afraid. Maybe police could suspect me. In many thoughts I glanced at the baby. It was so beautiful. She was also looking at me and smiling. I thought how can anyone kill the baby! I thought what to do! I don't know what came to my mind I took the baby and the bag and entered in the car. I started driving.. That was you.... I brought you to home. I told your mother, everything. After listening all she did not except you. She told me to give you to some orphanage. But I don't know why I couldn't do that. From that day you were known as my daughter. I gave you a name and adopted you. That paper which you found from that file was in that bag which was with you when the woman got injured.."' he stopped, got up, went to the shelf, pulled out a drawer and got out an old leather bag. He opened a chain and I saw some dolls and toys in that. He said " this is the bag.".. Now I said" Do you know who was that woman? " dad said" I tried hard to find out, but I could not " I sat silently for sometime.
I said" thanks dad for telling me the truth. And I love you dad! For ever " I got up and started walking towards my room. Dad was looking at me. He was silent. Me too.
I thought all over the night. Was that true what was dad said! I know everything. So why am I not happy! Why it felt bad? I knew the reason of mom's hate.
But I was wrong. I didn't know the reality of my existence. If I knew that before, maybe I could do everything wise, everything simple. But it's too late to overcome. I am far away from the existence of all human beings. And I am not so much involved..