Did you hear about the cannibal that showed up late to the party?
They gave him the cold shoulder.
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What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together, we can stop this crap."
(I'm sorry! :P)
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There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
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What's scarier than finding ten zombie babies in one garbage can?
Finding one zombie baby in ten garbage cans.
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An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my silent farts stink awfully."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
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Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, "You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink.
The first man went down yelling, "Sooooda!!!" Plop! He landed in a can of soda.
The second guy went down the slide yelling, "lemonadeee!!!" Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.
The third guy went down the slide yelling "wheeeeeeeee!!!"
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Why did Tigger have his head down the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
*BAD UM TSSSSSSSS*
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What do you call a dirty Fairy? Stinker bell.
Me? Stink bug (Yeah, my nickname is bug, I will delete your comments if you make fun of it -_-)
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Aaaaaand I know it's only nine, I'm stuck....
Whoever comes up with one in the comments gets a dedication!
Update: Okay, I have someone that has one, they have been dedicated this chapter!
Peddie4life is this person!
What is the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart.
YOU ARE READING
Jokes
Randomso uh this was written by me when I was in the 4th-6th grade. it's not that gr8 but it got an extraordinary amount of good feedback. enjoy!!
