Reality Check: A Deidara Love Story

Chapter 23: Frustration

"I... I don't care," Deidara mumbled. "Just as long as I know she'll be okay. That's enough, yeah."

"You don't care?" Kakuzu mused, raising a brow. "It doesn't seem like it."

His words were proven correct as Deidara realized that he had snatched Rai's hand in the process, fiddling with her fingers and interlocking them over and over. Cheeks reddening, he stopped his fidgeting and simply held it between his fingers. That was when he realized how cold her hands were; in his, they were small and a sickly frozen tempurature in contrast to his sweaty hands.

His eyes went back to her face, her cheeks still bloodstained with Orochimaru's cursed blood. Inscribed in his mind was the face she'd worn when the snake-loving man had first taunted her with her fear of blood. Wide eyes clouded over with terror, jaw dropped in fright, body frozen with panic. No doubt her phobia had been her ultimate weakness; she could do nothing.

Her mental stability had plummeted in the time Orochimaru's blood had been used as a weapon - Deidara couldn't even imagine the emotional pain she'd gone through the moment the warm liquid had touched her skin. She squirmed at the thought of blood; when her face was drizzled in it, her alarm had skyrocketed.

Along with the relief Deidara felt, he also felt regret.

There was nothing he could do as Orochimaru had penetrated her body with the kunai and stolen the jutsu. All he could do was simply stand there and watch in distress as she was tortured mercilessly, having had to host such an anomaly in her body for nearly ten years.

His hands clenched around Rai's and he gritted his teeth. How powerless he felt - it affected his view of the future. If she were to fall in the hands of evildoing again in the future, how in hell would he be able to protect her?

She was going to live this time, but it was only thanks to Konan, Hidan and Kakuzu.

What if the next time, they weren't there?

The next time, Rai would die... for sure.

"I know what you're thinking, dumbass," Hidan chimed, staring at the blonde with nonchalant fuschia eyes.

"What, o mighty fortune teller, yeah?" Deidara retorted, rolling his own azure eyes.

"You regret not being able to protect her, right, motherfucker?"

Deidara blinked, stunned. "Holy shit. When did you get so understanding, you insensitive prick?"

Hidan frowned and knit his brows together, clicking his tongue against the back of his teeth. "Who the fuck ever said I was insensitive, you dumbass? You think I've never been in love too?"

Kakuzu cut in with a humerous chuckle. "You? In love?" he scoffed. "Not a chance."

"I'm human too, you old dick! Shut the fuck up!" Kakuzu continued to taunt him with lingering laughter. Shaking his head, Deidara let out a chuckle too. "It's not like I can keep good ties with people. Jashin-sama is very demanding!" He paused to bring his medallion to his lips to kiss it.

"Oh, really?" Deidara joked. "Then why haven't you been making any sacrifices lately, hm?"

The Jashinist's lips curled into a pout as his eyes flickered down to his medallion in agitation. "Jashin-sama hasn't been contacting me lately..." he pouted, sighing exasperatedly.

"That's because... Jashinism isn't a religion... in this world," a small, shaky voice uttered.

All eyes darted over to Rai's face. The voice belonged to her.

Her sienna burnt eyes were just barely cracked open, dry lips parted as short breaths left her split lips.

"RAI!" Deidara screamed, squeezing her hand again. "You're - you're awake, un!"

"I guess... I am." Her body jerked as a painful cough wracked her body, Hidan's blood replacements seeping out of her scar.

"D - don't speak!" Kakuzu ordered, tightening the stitches on her wound. "It'll only cause more stress on your body!"

"A few words can't hurt," she croaked, her lips subtly smiling. "Deidara... is that you? Holding my... my hand?"

"Y - yeah," the bomber answered, his voice trembling as he fought to keep back his emotions. "Rai, I'm here."

"Then, I should... remind you... that I - " Her eyelids hovered momentarily before they shut again. "...I love you... Dei." Then her stiff body went limp and her smile melted away.

The Immortal pair could feel their hearts sink as she uttered her words before being lulled back into unconsciousness. Strangely, even a heartless brute like Hidan, felt compassion and sympathy for Deidara. His hands were still tightly woven together around Rai's hand, long bangs casting shadows to hide his tilted downwards head.

Even though they could not properly see his face, they could see the tears that dripped from his eyes, and they could hear the small sniffles and strangled sobs he emitted.

"R - Rai," he hiccuped, "I - I l - love you, t - too, you idiot."

Mortified, he used the base of his shirt to wipe away the droplets, putting on the best determined face he could.

Surprised he felt such empathy, Hidan tore his gaze away, glaring at the wall instead.

Konan chose that moment to come down the stairs, her bloody cloak removed.

"Now we should take this time to wash her up," she hesitated, seeing the crestfallen state Deidara was in. "Kakuzu, she should be fine by now, so you can release."

Kakuzu nodded and retracted his black tentacles from Hidan's arm and Rai's body, leaving the stitches so she could continue to heal.

"Hidan, you may rest now. I know blood withdrawal is a huge setback for a shinobi, but you are a Jashinist, and with the advantage of being immortal, we do not have much concern for you." She turned to Deidara. "Deidara... gently, it would be convenient if you could bring her body with me upstairs.

The three proceeded to their instructions, Hidan settling into a corner and immediately dozing off while Kakuzu aided Deidara in setting her in Deidara's arms.

Then, as efficiently as possible, they followed Konan up the stairs and to the bathroom Rai had showed them on the tour from earlier that day.

"Damn..." Deidara groaned to himself. "Was that really just today, un?" He took his pleasurable time to lay her in the large porcelain bathtub, her head lolling to the side.

"I'll take it from here," Konan decided, pushing past the blonde. "You can go wait outside, Deidara."

"Bu - but I'm her boyfriend," he protested, knitting his brows together. "I've been away from her side for way too long, yeah."

"But nothing. You are a man; there is a difference when it comes to gender. Now, wait outside, or I will escort you myself." Her eyes flashed, taunting him to defy her, but he was not yet ready to defy the Paper Angel.

"Fine," he grumbled, stomping out into the hallway. Before he closed the door behind him, Konan called to him softly.

"Don't think I don't understand your pain, Deidara. I, too, have felt what you're going through, except... you are more lucky than I."

"What's that supposed to mean, hm? You lost a boyfriend?"

There was no reply as Konan used a slip of paper to shut the door, her back facing Deidara. He simply sighed as the door closed in front of him, the click of the lock being turned echoing in the vast hallway.

Frustrated, Deidara stomped over to the opposite wall and slammed his back against it, sliding down until he was sitting on the ground with his knees pulled up. He rammed his elbow into the wall and made a small dent, which later would surely be a problem, but for now, he bottled up all of his irritation.

"Even though I need her so much," he growled, "even though she needs me... why can't I be by her side? Why can't I see her face? Why can't we... why can't we be together like we used to?"