OMG I AM SOOOOO SORRY! IT TOOK ME LIKE 8 YEARS TO UPDATE I AM VERY SORRY. PLEASE FORVIVE MEEEE!!
Okay anyway.. Yeah I didn't have a good title, and this is sorta a filler. It describes mah family sorta and shtuff. OH YEAH And so I became a The Neighbourhood addict, and there's a song by them called Staying Up.. you peoples really need to listen to it. It reminds me so much of The Maze Runner just because it does. Okay so here's teh new chapter, I'll try to make less mistakes.. tell me what you think and enjoy or not, you choose!
Disclaimer: Yet, I still don't own TMR. It would've been three words if I had written it. <3
I slammed the door of my mother's car and stomped my way into my house, running up the steps to my room. I shut the door and sighed angrily, tugging my wet, sticky shirt over my head. I quickly pulled off the rest of my disgusting clothes and threw them down on a mat, walking into the bathroom.
I looked at myself in the mirror, horrified. I had nasty goop on my face, but underneath it was me, the girl who isn't pretty, who isn't popular, who isn't confident. I was sickened and quickly turned away.
Turning on and letting the water warm up, I grabbed my iPod and turned it on, letting a random song I didn't know the lyrics to play. I felt the water temperature and got in, enjoying the pleasant sensation. I was freezing before I had gotten in, it being November. I was also, you know, covered in some sort of shit that may or may not kill me. I could be slowly dying right at this moment.
20 minutes. That is the minimum amount of time it took to wash, rinse, wash rinse, and so on, my hair and body. My skin was slightly red and my head was sore. Life sucks, but ya gotta move on, I guess.
I started to towel dry my hair, because using the hair dryer takes too long and I never like to use heat, when "On top of the World" by Imagine Dragons came on. I could never pick just one favorite song, but that was definitely one of the many. I would sing if my mom wasn't here since I have the voice of a a man in pain.
"Olivia?"
"WHAT?!"
"I'm going to take your sister to ballet and then run some errands. Okay?"
"Okay.." I mumbled, but shouted it out again for my mom to hear. I stood there waiting to hear the front door close. Once the sound of it slamming shut was heard, I counted to 30 just in case, unpaused my music, and burst into singing.
"'Cause I'm on top of the world AYE! I'm on top of the world AYE! Been waiting on this for a while now, paying my dues to the dirt," I sang along in my horrible scream-sing voice. I would love to sing in public if I wasn't so shy and/or if I didn't sound so terrible.
Grinning widely, I continued to sing and dry myself off. At least something was going okay today.
I brushed my hair, putting it in a bun and throwing on a T-shirt and sweatpants. I walked into my room, plopping down on my bed and pulling out my phone. I hopped on Instagram and liked every picture I passed. Until...
Minho had posted a picture. Yes, being the stalker I am, I followed him.
It was a photo of him with his arm around a girl's waist. I looked at the comments and saw he wrote "Just got a new girlfriend! @amazing_jenny" I looked at the picture again. Dang! She was really pretty. I looked at her account and DANG!! She's popular.
I let out a frustrated sigh and threw my phone across the room. Burying my head in my hands, I realized that I never have a chance with Minho. He's handsome, I'm barely pretty. I don't believe anyone is ugly.. but he might if he saw me. I had straight brown hair, which I think is really dull, brown eyes that are suppose to be hazel but don't really show, freckles on my face, but not a whole lot like some people. Not to mention I was still fairly flat chested... I'm also selfish, rude, and too shy. I suck at talking and I say too many random things. I don't deserve to live here, in this life.
I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks and more pooling in my eyes. A small sob escaped my lips and before I knew what I was doing, I had scissors that were in a drawer next to me in my hand.
"What if I just..." I thought. I pressed the blade to my wrist, unsure. Then I quickly swiped it across the skin, pain stinging it. It hurt, but it felt good. I thought about everything I hated about myself and about Minho, who was probably disgusted by me and slashed a couple more times. I could've used a razor, but I had wanted to go ahead and do it right then.
My breaths were shaky and full of anger before I realized what I had just done. I gasped and tears filled my eyes again. I jumped up and ran to get stuff that would make my cuts not scar over.
After putting the scar cream away so my mom wouldn't be suspicious, I turned on my music and fell asleep to the sound of The Neighbourhood and my own ragged sobs.
Pain. Why do I feel pain? It feels like a stinging kind of pain on my left wrist. I sat up and the memories and emotions came flooding back. "Bulletproof Love" by Pierce the Veil was playing, and I reached over for my phone only to grasp air. I remembered that I threw my phone earlier when I was mad and got up to retrieve it. It wasn't very hard since it was lighting up every 5 seconds with a new text message. I picked up the device and checked the notifications. 8 missed calls and.. THRITY EIGHT TEXTS?! 39 texts. 40. 41. 42. I quickly sent out a group text saying, "SHUT UP! I'M ALIVE BUT NONE OF YOU WILL BE IF YOU KEEP THIS UP!!!" Aren't I pleasant?
I looked at the time. 5:24 PM.
"MOOOM?" I called, wondering if she was home. "Moo-ooom?!" I screamed again, walking to my window, Leaning over to look out, I saw no cars in the driveway. I guess she had a lot to do today.
Buzzzt I looked at my phone. 6 new messages.
Kat: Sorry! I just wated to see if you were okay.
Eliza: SHEESH GURL! Just checking on ya
Megan: HI OLIVIA
And one from my other friend, Savannah: Haha just making sure you were alright Liv.
A small smile creeped on my face. I grabbed my bag, put on Vampire Weekend, and started my homework.
By the time I was nearly finished with my homework, my mom came home with my 10 year old sister, Alice. She ran in my room and hugged me tightly. We had a pretty good relationship, and I couldn't wait for her birthday in two weeks. I wasn't sure what to get her, but I wanted whatever it was, for Alice to love it.
""Hey pumpkin, how was ballet?" I asked her.
"Oh, it was great! We had extra time at the end so we played tag." her bright smile was enough to make anyone's day.
"That sounds like fun. Did you kick all the other girls' butts?"
"Yeah!" she replied enthusiastically.
"Good." I laughed and ruffled her dark brown hair. I could tell she was going to be beautiful when she grows up. And have lots of friends and boyfriends. She has curly dark brown hair, very few but adorable freckles, and gorgeous green eyes. To top it all off, she was always postive, hopeful, kind, and talented. And then there's my brother.. He's probably at a friend's house or something right now, like always. He's very social, charming, sweet I guess, attractive, too, I guess you could say. He also had brown hair, but lighter than Alice's and brown eyes. I guess you could say I'm a mix between the two, just less pretty. No matter what my friends say, I don't believe them. I guess maybe I wasn't cut out to be loved. And I guess I don't deserve wonderful people in my life.. Especially Minho....
OKAY HOW WAS IT?! That was a horrible ending, so very sorry. I promise better next time. Well.. until then.. SEE YA! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK c: Love you all <3 I dunno if I said this at the beginning, but I promise I will try my very best to update more regularly. TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS PWEASE AND LEAVE A COMMENT ABOUT ANYTHING. BYE BYE!
