Ice Cold (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Confessions

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: I haven't heard any feedback on this story, and I'm thinking about just ending it. Anything news will do, positive or negative, I need to know if I'm using my time wisely when writing this story. Please let me know!! And sorry about the super long delay in posting, my life has been consumed by a new fandom I've discovered, known as Sherlock. Sorry!!

Joan

A ray of sunlight sliced through my curtains, despite how dark they were. And lucky for me, I happened to be laying in its path. My eyes cracked open and squinted at the blinding light. I tried sitting up, but soon decided that was a mistake and lay back down, as my head began spinning almost immediately. My memories from the night before were fuzzy, and the last I could remember was getting into the cab with Jeremy. I had a splitting headache and my stomach churned at the thought of doing anything right now, but I knew I couldn't be late for my job again.

I forced myself to get up from the couch and shuffle over to the medicine cabinet. Opening the cabinet, I searched for an aspirin. Luckily, I have just a few left and grab one to put into a glass of water. I take a cold shower, hurriedly, hoping that it'll wake me up enough to make to set safely. Going through my morning routine, I claw at my brain for any memories of last night, but come up with nothing of value.

Eventually, I make it towards set and find Chris' trailer with ease, Emily sat waiting. The couch looked so inviting. I flopped face-first onto its cushions, not caring about the inquisitive looks from Emily.

"Uhhh," I moan, "We went to a bar." I answered Emily's unspoken question.

"You went on a date with Tom?!" She was sounded so excited to hear.

I turn my head to face her, still lying on the couch, "What? No, I mean Jeremy Renner."

"Jeremy?" She scrunched her nose in disgust at his name.

"Uhm, yea. I forgot to tell you. We went out to a bar and grill last night with him."

"Aaaand now you're hungover."

"Yea," I sighed, wanting to be left alone right now.

"What about Tom? Does he know?"

"Yea," I repeated. Leave me alone. I wanted a moment of quiet, but Emily thought the opposite. I could hear her sigh loudly from her side of the little room. "Whaaat?" I groaned.

"You really are blind, aren't you Jo? You do know you're killing Tom right now. Going out with Jeremy like this. He likes you. He really really likes you."

"I'm really in no mood to do this right now Emily."

"You're the one throwing a perfectly good opportunity away. I'm not saying Jeremy is a freak or something. I just think you should know that Tom likes you." I watch her rub the bridge of her nose in frustration.

I sit up, though it hurts. Emily is no longer facing me, she's preparing her pallet of make-up for Chris on the counter.

So you're saying drop everything I have going with Jeremy and go out with my best friend?" She looks back at me, disgusted. "No, no not you Emily." I wave my hands at her, "I'm talking about Tom."

"You said it, not me." She resumes her organizing. I get up from the couch and leave.

"You better be right." I reach for the door handle, and let myself out. I can feel Emily smiling behind my back. Taking my time, I slowly make my way across the lot. I'm facing Jeremy's trailer, completely unprepared for what I'm about to do. I knock, he answers looking beat but smiles nonetheless.

"Hey there stranger! Come on in!" He gestures inside.

"Um, Jeremy can we talk out here?"

"Sure." His eyebrows come together, worried.

"Look, I had fun last night, but I think we should stick with being just friends."

"U-uh, um yea if you feel that way." His hands find his pockets and he buries them deep down.

"Ok, thanks for understanding!" I give him a thumbs up and an honest smile, in a rush to end this awkward conversation. Jeremy's lips form a tight line as he dismisses me with a nod and sulks back into the trailer. My heels swivel and I walk to Tom's trailer, my legs carrying me faster than I thought.

I confront his door, nervous about what I'm gonna say. I reach to knock, but he opens the door before I do.

"Jo! Lovely to see you this morning! How was your date last night?" His British accent calms me immediately.

"It was good but I don't think it was working out between us."

"Is everything alright?"

"Yea Tom, everything's fine. I just didn't feel a connection. Are you going somewhere?" I ask the obvious.

He looks back into his trailer, "I was going to meet with Jim from the tech division for breakfast, but it can wait." Without a second thought, he re-enters his trailer, me following close behind.

"What's on your mind, love?" Tom sinks into his little couch, legs spread a mile wide and his elbows resting upon them. His signature posture.

"Oh, ya know, just stopping by."

"Jo, seriously are you okay?" He cocks his head.

"Just got some stuff on my mind." I try and brush off my, apparently obvious change in mood.

"Stuff you wanna share?"

I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, "Emily said that you have a crush on me. Can you believe her? How ridiculous would that-" Tom tensed up, his face permanently etched with an expression of worry. "Tom? You don't really like me, do you?" His sparkling ice blue eyes, ones always filled with wonder and excitement, looked at me with sadness and hurt. "Tom?"

"That is crazy, but hey, I have to get going now to meet with Jim. Nice to know your night went well!" He jumped up rather quickly, catching me off gaurd. He grabs my shoulders and assists me towards the door.

"Nononono, Tom. You can tell me. We're friends, right?"

"That's the thing, Jo. I don't want to ruin anything we have between us now. What if we dated and it didn't turn out right?" He pursed his lips, "I don't want to risk that."

He's looking down at me from 6 feet in the air, and I saw for the first time how much he actually cared about me. About what we had in our relationship. I seized the moment and popped up on my toes, my lips searching for his face. He assists and leans down, finding my mouth with his. And we kissed.

His long, sturdy arms engulfed me, mine wrapping around the back of his neck, my fingers running through his hair. In that moment, I didn't care if our relationship ended or not, I just knew for a fact that I was never going to let him go. I vowed to myself that I would not let Tom Hiddleston slip through my fingers.