One Day {Justin Bieber}

Chapter Sixteen

[ RECAP OF CHAP. 15 IN MOLLY'S POV: ]

I take a deep breath. “Jay…?”

He shuts his eyes for a moment. “Sorry, I just-… I don’t know.”

“What-What do you mean? You know you can trust me.”

“No, it’s not that I can’t trust you. I know I can trust you with my life, Molls, it’s just… I don’t really know how to say this.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Oh, alright, well, just… Don’t worry. It’s not like there’s any pressure. You know you can trust me, because you can, so don’t worry about it-…”

“I’m scared, Molly.”

I stop dead in my tracks. “S-scared? You’re…scared? Uh, scared of what?”

“It’s not what I’m scared of, it’s who I’m scared for.”

“Oh, okay. Who…Who are you scared for?”

“You, Molly. I’m scared for you.”

*Molly’s POV*

“Why are you scared for me, Justin?”

“Because I am, Molly.”

“You have to tell me why!” I raise my voice. He can’t just tell me he’s scared for me and not explain why!!

“Because…” He takes a deep breath.

"Because…?"

"Because Alex is in prison, Molly. He’s in jail.”

My heart stops. “What?!? He’s where??!”

“In prison,” Justin repeats and grabs my hand from across the table. He rubs circles across my palms soothingly.

“I-I can’t believe it,” I stutter, trying to wrap my head around the fact that the boy I loved, and dated for two years is now being held in federal prison. “Why was he arrested?”

Justin licks his lips and his eyes flicker down and away from my own. I wait to egg him on since I know he’s about to say something that he believes is going to hurt me.

“Because of what he did to you, Molly.” He tells me.

My eyes widen. What did he just say? It’s my fault? I landed the boy I believed to be the love of my life for ages and ages in…jail?!

“Now, Molly,” Justin starts. “Think for minute, okay? I know you’re planting this on yourself because you believe that if you had just, I don’t know, tried to talk to him about what he was doing you could’ve kept this from happening, but Molls… This is for the best. Okay?”

“I just…” I choke up. I don’t even understand myself right now! I’m upset that Alex is in jail, but Justin’s right… This is for the best, isn’t it? It’ll teach him a lesson. It’ll show him what he did was wrong. Maybe it’ll make him go back to the guy he used to be, the guy I know he still truly is… “I don’t know. I don’t understand how I feel right now, Jay. He hurt me. He hurt me a lot, but I just… I can’t help the feeling that I could’ve kept him from this. I mean, going to jail?! That’s a huge deal! He’ll be expelled and his life will be basically ruined. All because…” I trail off. If I finish what I’m about to say, I’ll only make it seem like I’m looking for Justin’s sympathy. But I’m not. And I hate being someone I’m not.

“Not all because of you, love.” Justin attempts to comfort me. “Not all because of you.”

–

After a delicious breakfast I basically ruined with my wonky, female emotions, Justin and I head back to our hotel room.

I hate ruining our morning, but I don’t really feel up to anything anymore.

God. I’m such a suckish girlfriend. I can’t even get over my own conscience and suck it up so I can enjoy my trip with Justin. Ugh. Why do I have to do everything wrong?

Once we’ve reached the room, I head straight to my room and lock the door behind me. I hope Justin will understand that I just need a bit of time to myself to work out my emotions.

I strip off the dress I wore to breakfast, pull on a pair of comfy sweatpants and change into a sports bra.

I walk into my bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.

All my flaws become suddenly clear to me, and I can’t even look at myself. Tears well up behind my eyes and fall slowly, then all at once. I sit myself on the toilet seat, overcome with emotion.

How could I be so stupid? I'm just ugly and stupid and worthless and all I ever do is get people in trouble. Like poor Alex. Poor, poor Alex. I know he never meant to hurt me. I know he didn't realize what he was really doing... God. How could I let this happen?

I sniffle, hold back any more tears from falling–or try to–and pluck up the courage to do the thing I’ve thought about doing my whole life.

My knees shake as I reach for my secret toiletry bag. I’ve taken it everywhere I go for the past six years, but I’ve never had to actually open it.

As I pull the zipper, my bones shake, but I don’t stop myself.

Since I was 13 I’ve felt worthless, and insecure, but I’ve never been able to admit it to anyone. Hell, I’ve barely been able to admit it to myself. But now I’m finally doing it.

My fingers wrap around the unfamiliar feeling of the razor and my hands tremble as I take it out of my bag.

Slowly, I stand up and look at myself in the mirror again, though I barely can.

When did I become so broken?

I hold the razor to my skin and ever so slowly, I start to press down on it.

The sting runs through my veins, slowly making me shiver, then giving me pleasure.

Wow. I should’ve done this a long time ago.

*End of Chapter Sixteen*

Uh oh... I'll bet you didn't see that one coming :0

Heehee, loads of surprises in this chapter!!

I go on my holidays tomorrow, so I'll be pretty inactive like I mentioned before, but I wanted to give you all an update before I left. Hope you enjoyed, sorry for another cliff hanger (; Vote and comment for Chapter Seventeen!