Starting Over

Chapter 5

These past three days in my hotel room by myself have been heaven. I have no homework to do, haven't talked to anyone, eating whatever I want. I have been spending time with myself and figuring out what to do from here. When I had to leave the hotel to go to school, I could feel my heart drop. When I walked out of my biology class, I could physically feel him.

My phone began to buzz and I looked down and see Wes's name pop up.

"Well," I know that voice. "I see your phone is working."

Wes stands about 5 feet away from me and starts to walk over to me.

I don't even know what to say, so I stay quiet.

"Where have you been this whole weekend Nan."

I don't answer.

He leans in so that his mouth is at my ear. "Answer me, Nan."

I actually giggle. "So you fuck up, and think you can bully me into talking to you."

He looks genuinely shocked. I've never talked like this before.

He backs up and tries again, "You're right. Can I please talk to you?"

"No." I answer than start to walk away.

"Nan!" I can feel my arm being tugged and I am once again face to face with Wes.

"God, can you talk to me please!"

"Talk to Rush."

He stares at me again and I take that opportunity to walk away.

I sit in the school's student union and stare at my online banking. I spent 600 dollars this weekend. I can't afford to stay any longer. I lean on the table and rest my head on my arms. This has got to be a joke. I take a couple of deep breathes and look up and see Wes staring at me from across the student union. He's sitting with other athletes but he's not even paying them attention.

I grab my book bag and walk out. I had work. I had school. I had priorities and I am no longer going to let Rush fuck any of this up for me.

It's around 9:30 at night and I finally make it home. I walk into my apartment and walk straight into my bedroom. I drop my book bag on the ground and then turn on my lights.

"DUDE WHAT THE HELL!" My hand instantly goes to my chest when I see Wes sprawled out across my bed. I look around and my room is slightly messy. His book bag and athletic bag is sitting on the floor. He has a plate on the nightstand. To top it of... Wes is shirtless. He must of been here for a couple of days.

As if he was reading my thoughts Wes says "I've been here since Friday."

"Okay and you can leave now." I turn and start grabbing his clothes and putting them into his sports bag. Before I know it, Wes has picked me up and set me on the bed. "Dude." I try and get up and he sits me down again.

"Sit and talk to me Nan. Please." He leaves his hands on my shoulders.

I move them off and say, "Talk."

He just stares at me for a couple of seconds, as if he was trying to find out where to start.

"Can't think of anything to say?" I give him a bitter smile. "Great Chat."

I stand up again and start packing his clothes again. Then he starts talking.

"Is this her? The Nan that was alone. The one that had nobody and pushed everyone away. Because when you're acting like a complete bitch like this, I can't say I blame them."

I stop packing and stay still. That did it. He knew exactly what to say to hurt me. Exactly what we could keep me up tonight. The thoughts that made me question if I really didn't change, like I tried so hard to do.

I turned around and handed him his half opened sports bag. I could feel my eyes tearing up. I could feel my body start to shake. "Say what you need to Wes. You've clearly already started."

He takes his sports bag, but not without tracing my fingers. "You know this weekend was hell for me right." He whispers. "You kind of broke my heart Nan."

"For needing time to myself because, I found out you were sneaking around with a brother who I don't talk to."

"I was going to tell you, I was. Listen, babe, I know that its hard for you to trust that I talked to him with your best interest in mind. "

"Ok then what. What was so good about me talking to Rush?" I cross my arms over my chest.

" He's your family-"

"God if you say that one more fucking time! Are you gonna call dad number one? Or dad number two? Do you want to go back to bama so we can see my sister who's dating my ex? My mom who couldn't give two fucks about where I am? Or everyone in town who thinks I am a stone cold bitch? I think we finally acknowledge I'm pretty fucked. So can you handle it or not because I'm fucking done." I put my face in my hands and walk to my bathroom and try and slam the door behind me. But, of course there is a 6'3 figure doorway in my walkway.

I continue to try and wipe my eyes before any tears fall.

"I've let you talk. So it is my turn. Don't. Interrupt." Wes says, and I give him the hardest eye roll of my life.

"I went and talked to Rush for you. I went and talked to him because you're not giving yourself any credit about how far you've come. And yes I am going to repeat myself about that being your brother. I am going to repeat myself until I am blue in the face. He loves you. So much. But, not as much as me." He begins to walk over to me and grabs my chin so I have to look up at him. "So no more being mad. No more you ignoring me. No more me not telling you everything, ok?"

I look up at him and nod. Then give him the biggest, most sincere smile possible. I stand on my tip toes and kiss him. I pull away first and whisper, "I'm sorry. I love you more." Then I pull away. "I just need you to do one thing for me."

He nods looking down at me. "Stop this." I whisper. "Stop talking to him please. That's literally all I want. I will talk to him before he leaves. And then this is over."

I kiss his shoulder and then crawl into my bed. He crawls in beside me and pulls me close. "I'll drop this. But I'm dropping you off and picking you up when you talk to him."

I roll my eyes and answer, "Fine."