Leaving Everything Behind

Partying with Jack

January 9, 1975

I've been awake for hours now, but I didn't bother moving or getting out of bed. I simple laid there, curled up with my back against Steven's front as I listened to him breathing. 

I really hurt him yesterday when I said that I wanted to go home. The dumbass took it as me breaking up with him! I could never! But I guess, in all fairness, that's what it seemed like. I wasn't trying to break up with him at all, I was just trying to tell him that I've had enough of this tour. I have enough of meeting people who seem frendly but could drug, rape and probably kill you if you rubbed them the wrong way. I've had enough of everything life's thrown at me. I'm just sick and tired of it all. 

"You've been awake for a while now…"

Steven muttered, tightening his arm around me. 

"Did I wake you up?" I asked, sighing softly. 

"Nah, I haven't been able to sleep." He confessed quietly. "I've been worrying about you, honestly."

I smiled softly and spun in his arms, cuddling closer to him and resting my head on his chest. 

"Charlie… You're not gonna leave me, are you?" He asked after a long silence. "I really don't want you to leave me. Like, I know you wanna see your parents again, but you don't have to live with them, do you? I mean, you can visit them as often as you like, but come on! You can still be with me-"

"Steven, I'm not leaving you." I promsied, shutting him up by pressing a finger to his lips. "This has all just been too much for me… I mean…"

I paused, taking a deep breath as I decided to tell him everything about the past few days. 

"When I woke up, just after I was taken, I thought about where I was and why I was there. I tried to remember who could possibly hate me enough to do this to me or what I could've done to make someone want to kidnap me and… And rape me…" I sniffled, spilling everything out to him. "Then when I realized it was Scott, I thought about the tour. Now, I love you more than you could ever imagine. Shit, I love you more than you'd ever know, but what if I never came on tour with you? I would've never met Scott… I wouldn't have gotten raped the first time."

I didn't realize I was crying until Steven wiped away one of my tears with his thumb, stroking my cheek tenderly. 

"He told me something that really fucked with me, Steven… He… he said that he wanted me and that he loved me and that we were meant to be together. He said you'd never care about me and a ring wasn't gonna change anything." I cried, trying my hardest not to look like an idiot. "Steven, if I never went on tour with you and met him, he never would've developed this fuckin' psychotic infatuation with me and this never would've happened…"

"So… What do you think we should do?" He asked, absolutely no hint of sarcasm or jokes in his voice. "Because I'm never letting you go. I love you, baby. I always have and always will."

"I love you too, but I just can't fucking take this anymore, Steven… I'm so terrified that everytime I leave the apartment, something's gonna happen to me and I hate it."

"I swear to god, Charlie. Nothin's gonna happen to you. I promise you." He leaned in and kissed me softly, persuading me. I decided to let it go for now and sink into his kiss, allowing everything conforting about Steven to crash around me and bring me peace again. 

After a little while of just cuddling and kissing and talking, I decided to get up and shower and get ready for the day seeing how we were reminded that it's Jimmy Page's birthday today and that we were going to have to celebrate with them before we caught the next flight to Boston tomorrow morning.