Memory in the End

Chapter 37: Michael's Past

That night was awkward, no one really spoke about anything. Aru tried to make small talk and crack some jokes but everyone was silent. Michael just stared into the fire and whenever I looked at him, anger rushed through me. Eventually we all fell asleep and the awkwardness subsided for the remainder of the night. I wish I could sleep as easily as the rest of them, but I was still angry at Michael. At the same time, though, I did feel guilty about some of the things I said. But still, I could help but feel that Michael was at fault. Not to mention, he didn't try to talk to me or try to make things right.

Somehow I managed to fall asleep but ever since the incident at Ivan's hometown, I haven't slept well. I slept for at least an hour before waking up. I tossed and turned for a bit before sighing. Most nights I just lay awake and stare at the sky, but tonight with everything that happened with Michael, I needed a walk to clear my mind. I slowly stood up and headed towards the woods. I stayed close by but eventually decided that I was far enough and headed back.

"Did you have a nice walk?" Michael's voice rang out near the slowly dying fire. It was the first time we'd spoken since the fight at the beach. I debated if I should answer him or pass him by but I gave in. I missed talking to Michael and he was trying at least.

"I did," I said softly and sat down on the log he was sitting at. We were on opposite ends, which might not have looked far but it felt as if we were miles apart. I really hated how weird things were between us, "You didn't follow me?"

He shrugged, "You wanted time alone, didn't you?"

"Thanks," I tried to fill the silence but it didn't do much.

We just stared at the fire until he spoke, "Why are you awake?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"How come?"

I shrug, "A lot on my mind."

"Do you still think about what happened with Ivan?"

"Sometimes," I admitted and Michael's face turns soft. He reaches a hand out but I pull away, "No you can't do this."

"Do what?"

"You can't be the nice guy and not change a thing. I meant what I said, Michael. You know everything about me while I don't know a thing about you. It's not fair and I'm sick of it."

"Arrabella-"

"Look Michael, I accept that you're a private person and you don't like to let people in but is it that bad that you can't even give me a glimpse?"

"I...I just don't like to talk about it," he said, "Besides when the incident in Ivan's hometown happened, I didn't push you to talk."

He had a point but I was still stubborn, "Fine let's make a deal, I'll talk about that if you talk?"

"Arrabella-"He started, in a tone of voice that I knew was saying to just leave it alone.

I stood up with a sigh, "Alright then. But you should at least adjust your attitude to the rest of us. Good night, Michael."

"Arrabella, wait. Fine."

"Really?" I asked but he had already begun talking again.

"I lost everything here." he said a little louder than when we were talking. He slowly sat back down on the log, staring at the fire, "I lost everything." He held his head in his hands as he tried to make sense of his thoughts.

I knelt down in front of him and pulled on his arms. He looked up at me, and he seemed to understand my gaze that was begging for him to let me in. With his eyes shaking with uncertainty, he began his story.