KIWI | LASHTON

「 seven 」

week twelve: your baby is almost three inches long now, about the size of a plum. fingernails, toenails, and bones are forming, and a fine layer of hair covers most of her body.

──

grimacing loudly in the lethal silence of his girlfriend and his apartment, ashton starred on with narrowed, envious eyes as he focused on the empty coffee pot—the one he has been avoiding the past two weeks much like he has been doing with bryana. his fingers itched to run through the daily routine of preparing coffee for himself, his ears yearned to hear the coffee pot leak full of the dark, luxurious liquid, and his tastes buds ached for the rich awakening from the burning caffeine on his tongue.

yet, due to an unexpected bump in the road—literally—he would be straying away from coffee, at least until he figured out a solution to his problem. so far, by glancing inside of his head or taking a whack of what he was thinking, he would be avoiding the bittersweet caffeine for the next six months while the little thing inside of him blossomed to life.

ashton attempted to veer his mind from any little thing that possessed the power twist his attention towards the little thing, yet he always found himself venturing off into catalogs supplied with an endless amount of infant products while idly rubbing away at his belly or reading up on websites about the size of his little thing and what to expect as far as changes in his body and little thing's development.

glaring harshly at the machine one last time, ashton tore his eyes away and stalked off towards his bedroom where he left every little piece of technology behind in order to receive a small break. he camped out on the leather sofa in his living room for the pass three days, struggling to connect with anyone from the outside world in his life and coming into contact with his girlfriend's possessions.

every time he bryana crossed his mind, complete and utterly ugly guilt washed up over him; he was transformed into a mess for the longest time, so he did his best to avoid any sign of her in order to resist the horrible feeling gnawing away inside of him at the thought of how he betrayed her. the mental thought of what he did resulted in him physically being sick for hours.

how had he sunk so far from his right mind to possibly cheat?

he had himself for it, but there was no ounce of regret for doing his action. the words were awful to admit inside of his head as they were allowed, leaving him disgusted by the fact he felt that way, but he did—never, would he in his right mind regret his decision entire, not at all. cheating by far was completely wrong, but ashton has fallen in love in the spam of two, nearly three, weeks of finding out about his little thing.

his little thing—that he created with a man.

he would never found himself on the this path in a million years, and struggled to believe it now, that he would've been knocked up by a model from a club in a duration of a one night stand. the old him prior to two weeks ago would have shut down any thoughts revolving questioning his sexuality, but the him person he had become in two, nearly three, short weeks was forced to wrapped their mind around it.

there was no doubt in his mind he veered off from being straight, and he was terrified to admit that...but he was. he admitted the large, suppressed truth for the first time in years. the truth he locked away long ago when his mother for years taught his siblings and him anything besides heterosexuality was wrong.

the close-minded teachings from his mother never infected ashton's thoughts of it, never making him believe being anything beyond heterosexual was a sin as his mother did. instead, he listened to her teaching over the subject and paid mind to opinions, but he never let her thoughts or belief influenced his own.