KIWI | LASHTON

「 twelve 」

week eighteen

——

saying the weeks passed in a blur may have been a decent thing for the stressed, pregnant man since each week meant he was safely further past the first trimester, yet he bared so much stress over the current situation he was in that the reality of losing the baby turned into a reoccurring nightmare—one that woke him up each single night, that had him shakily reaching out to call luke when he was not around.

though those moment were sparing, luke assured the pregnant man he needed the older one that he was there, and neither one of them were able to it admit it to each other, the older man simply was not enough. the pair recognized it enough. the rigid ashton formed with the two closes people in his life left him empty, a hole which luke was not capable of filling.

instead of trying to occupy that hole on his own, luke thought he was partially responsible and wanted to help the man pregnant with his child to relieve the stress. so, he found himself standing near the entrance of the bedroom that was emptier than the last time he had been it—the time they conceived the little thing growing inside ashton, yet luke now slept there most days beside the curly headed brunette.

the sandy-blonde smiled fondly upon witnessing ashton reading with his glasses perched on his nose, a hand resting on the noticeable bump that luke swore doubled in size. maybe it was the fact he finally saw each day, but he swore the bump was not that large the first time. "i'm gonna go out for a bit," the man hummed softly, catching ashton's attention.

the pregnant stuck his finger inside the book, utilizing it as a book mark while he closed it. "that's fine," ashton murmured a little nervously, eyeing the way the older man was dressed a little more proper than his usual attire he wore on errands. "wh-where are you going, just so i know in case i need to reach you?"

luke chuckled softly, "i'll be at the bar meeting a couple of friends, okay?"

ashton hesitantly nodded his head, "yeah, that's fine," he responded, cracking the book back open and casting his eyes back to the page, "if you're gonna be out late, then please don't come back."

the younger man suppressed the urge to question luke further, or even deny him to leave the apartment as a nervous knot tangled deep in his stomach, which he rubbed his hand over. ashton may of wanted to prevent luke from going out since that's initially what ended the pair in the situation in the first place, yet doing so meant crossing boundaries.

the relationship luke and ashton stumbled upon was differently, for the both of them, as neither one desired brining up the dreaded topic over the past few weeks, nor were they planning to anytime soon. the two maneuvered around and determined what was acceptable and wasn't like they were stumbling around a dark room, desperately trying to find a light that was broken.

"i promise i won't be out late," luke hummed promisingly, "if you're asleep before i get ho—back," he coughed slightly, clearing his throat completely, "um, tell bug i love him for me, yeah?"

ashton quirked his eyebrow up noticeably, shaking his head. "how are you so sure bug is a him?"

luke cracked a wide grin, "it's a gut feeling," he responded knowingly before slipping out the bedroom, leaving the pregnant behind with hazy smile.

the sandy-blonde man waltz into the living room that slowly collected his belongings over the past week. he slipped his heavy coat on and tugged on his boots before he headed out, locking the door cautiously behind him to ensure ashton and their little bug was safe. last time, the older man left to attend a meet across the city to return to ashton heavily asleep and the door unlocked.