The Internship•Calum Hood AU

17•"melanie"

I don't think I was ever as happy to see a hotel as I was after the flight to Paris, I didn't even appreciate the beautiful scenery of the Parisian streets as we drove through the cobbled roads. My thoughts were wrecked, every thought burning a shameful red on my face as I beat myself up over and over again.

It seems like it was years ago when it was only 2 days ago. The time drags on now as I lay in the too big bed flicking though my camera.

After I see Calum with Stella It's safe to say the rest of the flight was hell, he never returned and I didn't have to look far to know where he was. Michael tried to speak to me but I brushed him off. It was unlikely his best friend would show me support, I was the stupid one in the situation.

The worst part is I'm not even angry at Calum, in angry at myself. Angry I believed for a split second the words he said were true, angry I believed a rich and famous rockstar with the world at his fingertips would second glance at a plain shy girl from America. I could kick myself if could.

The hotel we are in now is positively stunning, but I can't say I don't miss the bus. Something about the tiny beds and the never ending noise soothed me every night, now I just felt so disconnected and lonely.

After a serious 19 hour pep talk on the plane after the encounter I've decided to just cut ties off with Calum. The only good thing is I caught this thing early before it got to far, I've tried to remove what happened at the hotel and the diner from my brain permanently but it's not working so far.

Everyone's picked it up, Ashton's tried everything and I still haven't laughed, which is making everyone worry because Ashton makes everyone laugh. Margot said she doesn't know what happened but she's gonna kick whoever ass made me sad, Ruby's just scowled at me for not telling her but I don't feel like talking at the minute.

As for Calum, he can't look at me in the eye. He hasn't tried to speak and I can't say I'm happy that he didn't come after me and try to work it out, it's just like a constant reminder that he doesn't care.

He left Nia's hotel room and rushed away when he seen me last night as I walked the hotel hallways for something to do, I haven't slept much either so I've just been exploring like a 5 year old.

I'm so upset I'm letting this get to me, but it hurts that he told me he liked me and then hurt me like that, hurts that he was drunk and it's as if I was irrelevant. Maybe I was.

I know I'll get over it one day, but now that day seems years away. The only thing I'm focusing on now is my career and if that involves me having to take photos of Calum everyday to make something of my life, then that's what I'm gonna have to do.

I'm currently ready for the Paris show tonight, the excitement is thriving through the entire team as the screams of fans were heard from outside the hotel last night. As I was recording them from my small balcony some shouted and waved. It lifted my spirits.

The sun was just setting as I was waiting for Dylan to come tell me we were leaving, he hasn't asked what's wrong but he's took care of me for the past few days, and I appreciate that.

I shut off the camera and adjusted my oversized grey sweater and black jeans, to say I've lost effort in how I dress would be an understatement. Just as I'm fixing my ponytail Margot walks out and grabs her jacket.

"You okay?" She says and I nod my head, I'm sick of the sympathy from people who don't have an idea what's even going on, I appreciate her being nice but everyone's walking on eggshells around me.

"Cindy I hate seeing you like this. I know you don't wanna open up but if you do, I'm here for you. I have to rush, Luke is waiting for me" she says with guilt laced in her voice.