"Physically , I'm not alone. But mentally, no ones in sight. I don't know what to feel. Kinda lost, Lost in my own thoughts. Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head. I keep everything in. I never tell anyone how I feel. Everyone thi...
Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep, before you fall apart.
SHAY
You may be thinking, how am I all fixed about the Jordan situation? What happened about the Jordan situation?
Well, Jordan's been proper arrested, for sexual assault and harassment. 5 years.
Also, I'm not fine. I'm broken, ashamed, dirty. I feel those. It's hard, really fucking hard. I act happy around my friends because nothing's worse than having your loved ones be worried.
Anyway, back to reality.
"ALEX?" Grayson says.
"What's going on?" I walk to Grayson.
"That's my best friend, I haven't seen him in 9 months." Grayson says.
"Shit, I'm sorry man. If I knew this was your girl, I wouldn't have even flirted with her." Alex says.
"It's fine dude, anyway, Shay meet Alex." Grayson says.
"Um yeah, hi." I say to him.
"Hey, sorry about that." He looks at me guilty.
"No problem."
—
We all hung out at the beach, but me being an awesome friend, didn't go into the water because Hannah is on her period and yeah.
7:28pm.
"Hey, I uh invited Alex over." Grayson says as I walk into the kitchen.
I reply with an Okay then go and sit beside him.
"How come you're at my house more than your own?" I ask Ethan and Gray.
"Because yours is good, plus our parents are always home. Your mum isn't so we can do whatever the fuck we want." Grayson says.
"Okay." I laugh.
"HEY BITCHESS!" Alex walks into my house.
"Alex, how tf did you get in?" I ask.
"Grayson told me to walk in."
"Oh."
"What shall we do?" Ethan says. Hannah's out with her mum.
"Let's watch movies." I suggest.
"Sounds great." Ethan says.
"I'm down." Grayson says.
"Let's do it." Alex says.
—
We all lie down on my couch,
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This is my couch so we all lie together on the big bit.
It goes Ethan, Alex, Me, Gray.
We put on the movie Avatar, watching it.
"This is my favourite movie." I say.
"Never seen it." Ethan and Grayson say.
Alex stays silent, eyes glued to the screen.
"It's good, watch." I say and we continue to watch it.
GRAYSON
The movie was almost over and I see that Alex and Shay are asleep.
"Bro." Ethan nudges me.
I look at him and he points to Alex, I look down and see Alex's arm dripped over Shay's shoulder.
I immediately turn angry, I pull it off and put mine there.
"You tired?" I ask Ethan. "Yeah why?" He says.
"Let's sleep." I say. He turns the TV off and we drift to sleep.
— The Next Day
SHAY
I wake up at 4am, I had yet another nightmare about Jordan. I walk into the kitchen and make myself some hot chocolate.
I sit on the counter, drinking my hot chocolate.
I think about my past, my life's shit.
The only thing keeping me going is my friends and Boyfriend. I truly love Grayson and will never stop.
"Hey." I look up to see Alex.
"Um, hey." I say back.
"You okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, why're you up?" I ask him.
"I should be asking you that." He chuckles.
I laugh too, "want some hot chocolate?"
"Sure." I go and make some more hot chocolate, handing him the mug.
He finishes it fast, I take the cup off him and go to the sink to wash up.
I feel his hands on my waist, I turn around, "Yo Stop!" I whisper/yell, pushing him off.
He leans in and kisses me, I try to push him off but he's strong. I eventually pull him off, tears welling in my eyes. This stuff haunts me, i can't even touch another guy without feeling violated or guilty.
I just cheated on Grayson, but it wasn't my fault.
Oh no.
—
I went back to sleep after that.
I wake up and see Grayson looking at me. No one else is in the living room, just us.
"Where's everyone else?" I ask.
"Alex went home and Ethans gone to Hannah's." Grayson says.
I smile.
I suddenly get flashbacks of last night.
"What's wrong babe?" Grayson sits up and I sit up too.
"Look, you can't get mad at me okay?" I ask.
"Promise."
"Last night, I went to the kitchen and made some hot chocolate since I had a nightmare about Jordan." I start. "Then, alex came in. We spoke for a bit and then since I made him some Hot chocolate too, I went to wash up both of our cups. He first but his hand on my waist," grayson eyes turn dark, "then, he kissed me. I tried to push him off I promise," I start to cry, "but he was really strong and I became weak because I was scared, I thought he was gonna do what Jordan did. I eventually got him off." I say.
He's really, really angry.
"I'm sorry Grayson." I say.
He engulfs me into a hug, "it's not your fault."
"Thank you." I cry.
• • •
Alex is an asshole. By the way, just to clarify things, Alex isn't Alex Aiono. Just a made up character. Also, the twins are 17 in this okay, so they have about 4.5 mill on YouTube and I don't know how many Instagram followers, I just made up 6.6 mill in the first chapter.
