Bat Family Oneshots

Things Bruce has said to his kids:

Dick:

"You were such a cute kid. What happened?"

"So, if everyone else jumps from the roof, would you jump too? ... I know that you jump from the roof every night ... It was a rhetorical question!!"

"I love you, but go away"

Jason:

"Do you understand English?! I said no more killing!"

"Language, dammit!"

"You cannot sell your brothers on Craigslist!"

Tim:

"Why did you just put that in your mouth? ... I don't care if it was a dare! Spit it out!"

"I'm not talking to you until you put on pants"

"At what point did you think it was a good idea to test how long you could go without sleep?"

Damian:

"He is your older brother, do not use him for target practice"

"I understand that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's, but don't let the dog eat off your fork!"

"Did you give Tim a black eye? ... No, the dog was not the one to do it, try again"

Stephanie:

"Why did you put makeup on Dick? Now he won't stop talking about his cheekbones"

"Stephanie, you don't even live here, why are you paining the living room?"

"Will you stop trying to hug Damian? He claims that affection makes him breakout in hives"

Cassandra:

"You're my favorite child"

'I need you to watch the boys while I'm out ... Yes, I know that most of them are grown men, but they seem to get into trouble when left unsupervised"

"I'm glad that I have one sane child"