Is Bridgeport big enough for Kae, Robyn, Alex and Jasmine? They're all beautiful, captivating, and a little bit crazy... but there can be only one It Girl.
[ Based on the It Girl series by Cecily Von Ziegesar ]
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Despite the soothing whir of the cappuccino machine and the soft music playing at CoffeeRoasters, the tiny coffee shop in downtown Rhinecliff, Alex's whole body was atwitter. Across from her, Kae was bent over her textbook, happily highlighting away. But even with the study-inducing vibe—not to mention caffeine—all she could think about was what had happened last night with Yara. The kiss. Alex had never kissed a girl before, not seriously, but she'd never been a prude, either, so she just hadn't thought about it one way or another. She could think of plenty of times when at parties, drunken girls tended to get all huggy and kissy, but she'd always thought that was mainly for the benefit of the horny boys watching. Kissing Yara was different. First of all, no one was watching, and second of all, they did it because they wanted to, and not because they were drunk.
If Alex had been worried that things would be awkward between her and Yara after their little make-out session, she needn't have wasted her energy. When Alex had run into Yara coming out of the bathroom this morning, a lock of wet hair clinging to her cheek, the two of them had instantly grinned at each other—the shy, knowing grin that exists only between two people who share a very exciting secret. And nothing was really different at lunch either. They chatted as they would have before, except everything was a little more charged, each of them knowing what the other was thinking about, and no one else in the world having a clue. It was definitely exciting. Maybe they stood a little closer to each other, but not enough that anyone else would notice.
Alex kept glancing up at Kae, sitting across the tiny, slightly sticky table from her, her yellow highlighter poised over her biology textbook, ready to attack. She had to keep biting her cheek to prevent herself from spilling her guts to Kae right now. But...Kae had kept her secret about Mr. Jordan, after all. She could certainly be trusted. And Alex really felt like if she didn't tell someone about this, she might spontaneously combust.
Kae looked up questioningly from her book before Alex could think of another reason not to spill. Her chocolate brown eyes were just so warm and friendly, and her smile was just so reassuring and nonjudgmental, Alex couldn't fight it any more. She flipped her book down on the table and leaned forward conspiratorially. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" she asked in a low voice.
"What?" Kae absently tapped her highlighter against her cheek, apparently forgetting the top was off, leaving a tiny yellow splotch near the corner of her mouth. She looked a little bewildered. "I don't know. You mean, like...seriously? Or like you and Yara at the meeting the other night?"
"Well..." Alex glanced around them, suddenly feeling paranoid. Was that guy from her calc class over there eavesdropping? No, he had tiny white earphones stuck in his ears. "The thing is, we sort of did it again." Alex twisted the gold chain of her pendant necklace around her index finger. "Last night."
"Wait, what?" Kae looked like she'd suddenly been hit with a bucket of ice-cold water. "You mean, like, made out?" Her voice squealed a little on the last two words.
"Shhhh!" Alex pressed her finger to her lips. She didn't want to shock the two older women to her left. Although with their short haircuts and tomboyish clothes, they could be lesbians themselves. But wait—you couldn't tell a person's sexuality just by looking at them, she reminded herself. That was exactly what she didn't want other people to be doing to her. She put her elbows on the table, forgetting that the delicate silk fabric of her blouse would probably stick to the leftover coffee goo. "I don't know. Sort of. I mean...I really have no idea what it was."
"Ohmigod." Kae made a steeple with her fingers and tapped them rapidly against each other. "That is so crazy. What was it like?"
Alex felt a rush of warmth for Kae. She had responded totally perfectly—surprised and curious, of course, but not shocked or horrified. Alex never would have been able to tell something like this to Jasmine (even back in the day, when they were allegedly friends) without Jasmine making a snide comment about Alex needing to buy a strap-on or something like that.
"It was...nice," she admitted, shrugging her shoulders. "But I'm just so confused, you know?"
"I can imagine." Kae took a sip from her navy blue coffee mug with the words MIKE'S AUTOMOTIVE on the side. The CoffeeRoasters owners allegedly bought their mismatched dishes and mugs at yard sales. The idea was sort of charming, actually. "So...do you, like, want to do it again?"
Alex's face grew hot. "Kind of." Meaning, yeah. She paused, eyeing Kae's face. "Do you think that's weird?"
"I doubt you're the first person in the world to kiss a girl and like it." Kae giggled. The cappuccino machine whirred to life over Alex's shoulder, hissing loudly. "I mean, girls are beautiful. Why wouldn't you want to kiss them? Girls always smell nice, and boys can be totally gross sometimes." Then her face turned a little more serious. "And Yara is awesome. She's cute and sweet and fun to be around."
Alex felt herself start to blush. Was she really thinking about Yara like that? Well, she guessed so. Even though she'd been a little embarrassed to start the conversation, she had to admit it felt good to get it all off her chest. As confused as she was, she was excited, too, and it was nice to get to talk about it with Kae. "So, I must be bi, then, right?" Alex continued, lowering her voice. "Or is this just some sort of reaction to getting screwed over one too many times by a jackass guy?"
Kae swallowed a gulp of coffee. She peered over her mug thoughtfully. "I don't know. You've had a few big, I don't know, crashes lately." She traced her thumb along the rim of her cup before tearing open another packet of Splenda and emptying it into her drink. "But maybe it's a good idea to not try and label things yet, you know? Labels don't really mean anything."
Alex pressed her lips together in a slight pout. "But I like labels," she admitted. "They make everything so much clearer." Her sister Bree always told her she liked things to be wrapped up too neatly, and that part of the point of life was its messiness, its refusal to be wrapped up. Alex always took the advice with a grain of salt—it was probably Bree's excuse for a messy room, or for breaking up with boys she'd dated without actually telling them. But maybe Kae had a point?
Kae tilted her head sympathetically. "You don't need to overanalyze everything. Just...follow your heart. And don't worry—your secret's safe with me." She brought a dainty finger up to her mouth and pretended to zip her lips.
Alex nodded slightly. Follow her heart. Right. How many times had she been told to do that, and where had it led her so far? To it being broken twice in the past month and a half. But still. Yara was about as different from Michael and Quincy as you could get—personality-wise as well as anatomically. Not that she knew much about Yara's anatomy. At least, not yet.
