Unknown

Are you gay?

Yes you read it right, i said those gay thoughts came back again. As if i had them before. Ok, ok, I need to confess something. I had ONE crush on this guy. It was a one time thing i swear, he was so attractive and he was- ok thats not helping. I cant be gay just because of one heart skip from one guy. I shake my head and walk out the doors of the school. "You ok Sammy?" asked Gilbert. "Yeah, i was just thinking about something." I say and we walk to the buses. If i told him of that one time, he wouldn't shut up about it, I'm certain.

Constant rambling ' I told you so! I knew you were gay!' He'd say or some other weird shit. We separate ways and walk to our buses. I look around and i sigh in disappointment. My bus is late again so i have to wait another half hour or something. I sit down on a bench in front of the bus area and the guy i bumped into sat next to me.

I turn around to look at him, I can see his face more clearly now. He has a small man bun on the top of his head, half of his hair on his head already shaved off. He pulls on his dark blue jacket and straightens it out before turning back at me. "So your homophobic or what?" He asked. I only blinked in surprise. "Um, no. I was just presenting a project." I explained, he must have watched me present my project. I forgot he was in that class with me. 

I pull out my phone and start to type in my password when I hear him speak to me again. "Are you gay? " he asked and I turn off my phone. I turn around to him, "Excuse me? " I begin to say but stopped when I saw his face flushed. Oh no, Gilbert was right. Shit, I'm not good at saying things in a nice way, or how to let him down easy. I guess no matter what it'll still hurt. I scoot away from him slightly, "No I'm not gay. Why do you ask?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

 He looks at me sadly for a moment but changes to a blank expression, "My friends wanted to know." He said, trying his best to hide the fact his pride was hurt. Get it? Pride? Like gay pri-ok I'll stop. I pull out my phone again and open my messages. There's two from Gilbert and I open them, doing my best to ignore the heartbroken boy next to me. 'Hey dude, Did he ask you out yet? ' I looked at the message questionably. I text back, 'How did you know? ' I look back up to see him looking at his phone as well. His hoodie is pulled up so I can't see his face, is he really that upset? I dunno, maybe he's one of those feminine boys who cry over the little things.

My phone buzzes and I look at his reply in disbelief, ' I told him to ask you out. Since no ones ever tried to' Now I feel bad. I think of the possibility of actually going out with him but I shake at the thought. Why would I think that? I sigh to myself and rub my head in frustration. Ok fine, maybe I'm bi then. Ive been denying it for years now but there's no other explanation for why I think like this. Still, even IF I was bi, I don't think he's my type. 'Dude, I'm not gay', I text back in reply.

"My name is Adam." I hear the heartbroken boy from earlier say. I look at him and see his hand stretched out to shake mine. Hesitantly I grab his hand and give him a quick hand shake, "I'm Sam. " I give him a slight smile, trying to be nice. He only blushed and shook his head, "Nice to meet you. " I hear the speakers call out my bus number and we both stand up at the same time. I looked at him in surprise and he did the same. "That's your bus? " we said in unison and I laughed to myself. "Ok, lets sit together then. " I say as we walked to the bus. We both sit down at the back and I start playing games on my phone. He puts on headphones and moves his head to the music.

Adam, huh. Maybe we can be good friends. As long as he doesn't fucking pull that gay shit on me. I shoved my elbow lightly on his shoulder. Adam puts down his headphones and looked at me puzzled. "Y-Yes? What is it? " He stuttered. Almost cute, just almost. I go on my contacts on my phone and I lean my phone towards him, "Give me your phone number. " I say, rather demanding than anything. I didn't intend that but he didn't seem to mind. He enters his phone number and he hands me his phone to do the same. I enter mine and we trade back phones. We call each other to make sure we got the right number and the bus stops at my bus stop. "I'll see you later Adam. " I say and his face said it all, he likes his name coming from me. I smirk at the thought and get off the bus. 

I felt my heart feel light as a feather and freeze. Don't tell me I actually like this guy? Nah, I'm just happy. I made a new friend, that's a normal feeling right? I shrug it off and walk home. As soon as I do I have five unread messages from Gilbert. 'You liar! You just gave him your phone number! I knew you were gay! Hey answer me. Are you making out with him or something? ' I look at the messages, they must've also swapped contacts or else he wouldn't know. I sigh and reply, 'We traded numbers because F R I E N D S H I P you dumb fuck' I text back and lay on my bed. He always make me feel exhausted, emotional and physically. 'Whatever you say BB ;) ' I read his reply and roll my eyes. I feel my phone vibrate and look at my phone. A text from Adam, oh great. I sigh to myself thinking what he texted, a whole paragraph on his feelings for me? A possible confession or maybe just a simple hello. 

Either one, I'd still respond the same. I look at the message and laughed. He just sent the most stupidest meme 'Do you kno De Wae'. This is way better than saying hello or some shit. We start sending each other memes without any other context. This went on for a good few minutes before I decided to get up from bed and go eat dinner. As I walk to the kitchen my mom looks at me and smiles, "So who's the special girl? Or boy, no judgment here dear. " She giggles and turns off the stove. She's the only other person other than myself that knows about that one guy and that one heart beat. I roll my eyes and takes a plate, "What are you talking about? " I ask as I start to fill my plate. "You have that look in your eyes. The look before you start debating whether to ask them out or not. You end up talking about it anyway. Plus you were skipping. " She smirked at me and I slightly blush in embarrassment. 

"What no! I don't skip! " I say, I don't even remember skipping. My mother smiles, "You were light on your feet. As light as air. " she said teasingly. I sit down at the table and begin to eat dinner. Sometimes I feel like she knows me better than myself, but I need to clarify to you. I am 100% not gay and I know for certain that woman are beautiful and wonderful. And a feminine boy is not going to change that. I know what I said before but that just can't be true. Me, being bi? No way. If you were ever wondering, now you know, I am not gay.