A/N: I struggled so much writing this chapter. Apologies in advance if it seems disjointed or too depressing or just downright sucky. I tried, I really did. :(
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It took everything in Sebastian not to run and hug Charlie from behind as soon as she saw her sitting in one of the benches, ice cream in hand and eyes to the ocean. Her hair was billowing with the wind as she sat there, looking even more beautiful to him, the morning sun adding to her fragile glow. He made sure no one noticed him as he made his way to where she was seated and stood behind the bench as discreetly as possible. As soon as 11 hit, he knew she was going to check the time and that's when he made his move.
"Hi, is this seat taken?" he asked as soon as she glanced up. Shock and surprise lined Charlie's features as soon as their gazes locked on to one another.
"Sebastian?!"
Her reaction quickly morphed from genuine surprise to restrained anger within seconds. She must have put two and two together and realized 'Ian' and 'Sebastian' were one and the same person. He also felt the sharp stab of betrayal she must have been feeling at that point, but there was no way he was letting her go without a fight.
Charlie made to stand up, but Sebastian grabbed her free hand.
"You're Ian aren't you?! Is this your idea of a joke?!"
"Charlie, please, I can explain everything, but can we please go someplace a little more private? I know this isn't what you were expecting and if you decide you're still going to be mad at me after, I will totally understand, but please, please hear me out first."
Sebastian's hand on hers must have had some sort of calming effect on Charlie as she quietly nodded and let him lead her to a restaurant towards the entrance of the boardwalk.
Fortunately for Sebastian, Chris had correctly predicted Charlie would react the way she did and so he was relieved that he had decided to request for a private area to be set up for them in one of the pizzerias in the area. He made a mental note to tip the manager of the restaurant after he had finished explaining himself to Charlie.
As soon as the curtains were shut behind him, Charlie made it clear she wanted distance between them by standing as far away from Sebastian as possible. He could see she was fighting not to cry, but her shaking hands were a dead giveaway.
"You planned all this did you? God, Sebastian, I don't even know where to begin to ask," Charlie spoke, her voice unsteady as she did so.
The apology Sebastian rehearsed in his head many times the previous night seemed to be useless as she stood there looking utterly confused, betrayed and disappointed at him.
"Not everything," he began. "Everything else—"
Charlie's shoulders slumped and she found support in one of the chairs in front of her, crumpling down to it as the tears she had been trying to suppress earlier suddenly flooded out of her eyes. Despite his and Chris' best laid plans, Sebastian wasn't prepared to see her so hurt.
"I am so sorry, Charlotte," Sebastian finally mustered the courage to tell her. "I never wanted to lie to you."
"But you did!" Charlie gazed up at him with red rimmed eyes. "I trusted you with almost everything of me! I was on my way to rebuilding my life, and you...you came in at the right time. I held on to you when things were beginning to feel shitty again and you held me up. I shouldn't have let you, but you did...and now you're telling me all of that was bullshit?!"
"NO!" Sebastian rushed to kneel in front of her and took both of her hands in his. "Everything I ever said to you, all of that was ME, not some made up guy, I promise. It's just...I couldn't tell you who I really was because I knew you wouldn't believe me. You would have ignored me and I didn't want that. Believe me when I tell you that the only thing I ever lied about was my name, Charlotte. Everything else was real. It was becoming so real that I got ashamed of myself for lying to you."
Charlie sniffled but didn't move to pull her hands away from Sebastian. It offered him a small relief, but he knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. He told himself he wouldn't rush her, that he would let her make the decision, but he was loving the feel of her hands with his that he desperately hoped that she'd find it in her heart to forgive him, even if it took him all day to earn it.
"Was that...was that why you stopped messaging me for a month?" Charlie asked, her voice small.
Sebastian could only nod, feeling the rush of emotions in an onslaught as he remembered how miserable it felt to not hear her voice or get a simple text from her.
"When you told me how you...felt about me, that's when it hit me. It was probably the sincerest thing anyone has ever told me and it cut me up to shreds that I myself wasn't being truthful to you for the simplest thing. I needed to think about some stuff and that's why I came to the realization that I had to invite you today and come clean."
Sebastian held on to her hand tighter when she didn't respond. If it came down to him grovelling for her forgiveness, it was what he was willing to do. Taking a deep breath, he spoke again.
"I can't tell you how sorry I am Charlie. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. If I could go back to that day I would, just to make things right. In the four months I've gotten to know you, you've meant so much to me. The thought of causing you any sort of pain is unbearable to me that's why I'm here now pleading to make things right by you. And I wouldn't have that chance if you aren't going to forgive me."
"Sebastian...I don't...it's...this is all a little too much for me right now," Charlie finally responded, her voice sounding weak and defeated. "I need time to think. I do want to forgive you, but you know everything that has happened to me. You lied to me. You knew exactly what happened to me when people I trusted the most lied to me and yet you carried on with one anyway."
It was Sebastian's turn to cry this time. He felt like the biggest idiot in the world. How could he have not seen this coming? He, of all people knew the hell Charlie had gone through after the people she trusted the most betrayed her to her face. He should have known this was not going to be easy. How callous was he to think that it would only be a few moments of screaming anger and they'd just go back to how they were.
"I have to go," Charlie wriggled her hands away from his. "Get up Sebastian."
Sebastian obliged, stepping aside as he watched her wipe the tears from her eyes and tried to recompose herself. He just stood there watching her, not knowing what else to say, or if he was still supposed to say anything after all that he told her earlier.
Sebastian watched helplessly through tears as Charlie made her way out of the booth. Before she pushed the curtain open, she looked at him one more time and shook her head.
"Charlie wait," he called out to her. She turned back around to face him and Sebastian took this as his only chance to do what he was wanting to earlier.
Within a few strides, he caught her by her waist and pulled her to him for a kiss that he had been dreaming about for quite a while already. Charlie let out a small yelp, but Sebastian felt her lips easing in to his as she opened up to him by latching on to his lower lip as they both deepened the kiss. He could taste the salt in her lips from her tears as well hints of strawberry and vanilla from the ice cream she was eating earlier. It made Sebastian dizzy with need as he pulled her even closer to him than she already was. He felt her hands snake their way to his neck, the tips of her fingers skimming his nape gently. His eyes gave way to tears again as his lips continued to probe and caress hers, memorizing each stroke and curve of her soft mouth, committing them to memory just in case he'd never have this same opportunity again. Sebastian dared and bit her lower lip, and the sound she made because of it was something that he prayed he would hear again. It was clear to him that despite her current state, Charlie still wanted Sebastian just as much as he was letting her know through his kiss how much he wanted her.
They both pulled away at the same time, panting and gasping for breath at the intensity of the kiss they just shared. Sebastian rested his forehead on hers, his hands still tightly grasped around her waist.
"I'm going to wait for you as long as it takes. I can't lose you, Charlie."
YOU ARE READING
The Other Side (A Sebastian Stan Fanfiction Story)
Fiksi PenggemarShe wrote about him to help her ease the pain of a failed business. He desperately wanted to overcome his writer's block and found himself reading fanfiction about himself online. She unwittingly writes about his on-going personal struggles, unaware...