letters i never sent; wyatt oleff

treize

Dear Wyatt,

My mom is dead. I'm a mess, but whats new. The first day I was in denial. Everyone told me that would happen, but I didn't believe them. Why should I? They lied to me and told me my mom was going to be okay when she obviously wasn't. 

Right now its 2:06am and hot tears keep pouring down my face.  I've had to blow dry my paper twice to get rid of all the clear puddles of liquid my paper was drowning in.

Yesterday I sat in my room just crying. I was crying, and crying, and crying. I miss her so much. I miss her smile. I miss her laugh. I miss the way she could brighten anyones day, just by being in her presence. I miss the way her clothes smelled of honey and vanilla every time she hugged me. I miss the way we would sneak out of the house when my dad was asleep, and go to the movies. We would sit in the dark empty theater and throw popcorn at the couples who only came to make-out. We got kicked out so many times that we got banned, and were forced to run around the isles of CVS. But it was okay. All we needed was eat other to have fun, not some shiny new movie theater in the mall.

Yesterday in the middle of my crying session Jaeden came over. As soon as he opened my bedroom door I ran and cried into his arms. He just sat on my bed and ran his fingers through my hair while I cried my eyes out. He fed me lies like, ''It's going to be okay'' and, ''She's in a better place now.'' How is she in a better place. What place is better than home?

Jaeden ended up staying the night. During the day he kept telling me how sorry he was for leaving me when I needed friends the most. No matter how many times I told him ''It's okay, your here now'', he would never let it go. 

During the time I wasn't crying, we reminisced the times when Jaeden would come over and we would trash the house and my mom would film us making horrible cooking tutorials. We laughed and cried, and honestly we both looked like hot messes. I had mascara (from five days ago) smudged beneath my eyes, while Jaeden had tear streaks and red eyes. We looked terrible, but I was feeling way better than I was several hours ago. After we ran out of good memories, we looked through my old photo album and cried some more. I came across so many pictures with you and my mom in it. My body physically couldn't take it anymore. I broke down again for the fourth time that day. I just cried and buried my face in Jaeden's arms. i eventually cried myself to sleep, while Jaeden knocked out as soon as his head hit the pillow. When I woke up I felt weak. I hadn't't eaten in three days. All I had managed to do was sleep and cry.

Once Jaeden woke up, I made breakfast. We laughed as I cherished the last hour of happiness I had with him. Because I knew that once he was gone, I wouldn't come out of my room again,

- Marisol Miller