He's my light VMIN

Chapter Twenty Four

Tae was in trouble, now that he had Jimin calmed down and somewhat trapped his mind was blank, he had no idea where to start or what to say. There were so many questions and all of them seemed important, but right now all he wanted to do was either cry at what Jimin had been doing to himself, or kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. Neither of which seemed like a good idea right then. Tae took in a deep breathe and let it go, closing his eyes for a moment to bring his focus back to what's important.

"Right – lets start with these shall we?" he said as he ran a hand across the scars on Jimin's arm.

Jimin flinched, pulling back a little "I don't really want to talk about them Tae, you shouldn't have even seen them" By habit he reached for sleeves to pull down over his wrists before realising he was still shirtless. He flapped his hands a little before dropping them in his lap, and looking down, a single tear dripping off his chin landing on his thumb.

Tae sighed, considered pushing the issue but said "Alright – we'll come back to that."

Jimins shoulders relaxed a tiny amount, almost imperceptible, but the tension returned when Tae said "How about the not eating thing?"

Jimin looked surprised that Tae had noticed, which almost made Tae laugh. It was hard to miss how much weight Jimin had lost when he was sitting like this. Fortunately Tae managed to keep a straight face and even frowned slightly when Jimin seemed like he wasn't going to answer.

"I'm just on a really strict diet, it's nothing to worry about" Jimin stuttered, trying to shrug his shoulders within Tae's grasp.

"Is this the new anorexia diet?" Tae retorted sarcastically.

"What? No don't be stupid." Jimin laughed a little nervously "I'm just really overweight so I need to lose a few more pounds" Tae said nothing for a moment horrified at the idea of Jimin losing even more weight.

"Jimin" Tae tilted Jimin's head up to look at him "Why do you think you are overweight?"

Jimin pulled his chin away and looked at the bedroom door, avoiding Tae's eyes

"JIMIN!!!" Tae growled

"OK – the people at work told me... and my sister..... but they're right" Jimin asserted with a little pout.

"Jimin, are we friends?" Tae suddenly asked

Jimin thought about it for a moment, not sure why Tae was asking "ummm.... I thought we were... maybe?... I don't know Tae"

Tae rolled his eyes "OK let me rephrase, we're friends – and I care about you – so do you think I would lie to you?"

Jimin wasn't sure what the right answer was here, so he just went with honesty "I hope you wouldn't"

"Jimin, honey, you are not fat, you have never been fat. You used to be gorgeous and well built, and now you are still gorgeous but you are dangerously underweight." Tae spoke as calmly as he could "Right now I'm worried that I'm going to break you if I hug you too hard. Seriously, I'm terrified that you are going to starve yourself to the point where I'm going to lose you"

Jimin flinched but finally looked at Tae, and all he could see was concern "You think I'm gorgeous?"

"That's what you got out of that sentence? Jimin, of course you are gorgeous," Tae laughed a little nervously and ruffled Jimin's hair "But you are sick"

Jimin sighed, rubbing the cuts on his arm. Tae noticed the movement, but didn't stop him.

"The drinking isn't healthy either Jimin, especially when you aren't eating anything" Tae started rubbing small circles on the blonde's shoulder, and resting his head against the others forehead, "although Joon told me you 're a karaoke king, so if you ever want to hit the bars sober please please PLEASE invite me"

Jimin smiled a little before realising what Tae had said "When did Joon see me sing?" he asked

"Not really important Chim," Tae replied "Do you agree that the drinking is a bad idea?"

Jimin frowned and tilted his head up at Tae. He finally dropped his head back down to stare at his lap again and nodded slightly.

They were both quiet for a few minutes, knowing that there was only one thing left to talk about. Tae was worried that this confrontation would send Jimin over the edge, but he knew he couldn't avoid it.

"...can we talk about these?" Tae pointed to the cuts on Jimin's wrists.

Jimin pulled his arm away slightly, not completely out of Tae's reach, but further away from his body "Tae Please... don't"

Tae sighed and stared down at the top of Jimin's head, he had no idea what to do if Jimin kept avoiding it. He sighed again, and resumed tracing tiny patterns on Jimin's arm.

Finally the older boy spoke "They're.... They.... I don't know... they help me to not be ... like... me...."

There was a moment of complete silence, where both boys held their breathe trying to wrap their head around what had just been said.

"Jimin...oh baby...." Tae's eyes filled with tears and his voice was choked with emotion "I really want to talk to you about why you being you is incredibly important to me, but I can't yet..."

Jimin was confused, but just shrugged a little, still in shock that he had said anything to the younger boy. Tae hugged the smaller boy to him, as he cried silently into Jimin's hair.

"You need to get some help, you know you need help, and I need you to get help" Tae's voice took on a painful edge, "If you won't do it for you, will you please do it for me?"

Jimin didn't say or do anything for a long time, and Tae was starting to freak out about whether he had fainted, but the blonde head finally nodded and he could feel Jimin's shoulders start to shake as he sobbed quietly. Tae gathered him closer to him, pressing Jimin's body into his chest.

Once the worst of the emotional storm was over, Tae let him go just long enough to get off the bed and grab the coffees he'd forgotten about, before crawling back onto the bed, handing one of the coffees to the beautiful man beside him. He wrapped his arm around Jimin's waist and pulled him back into him. They sat on the messy, bloody bed sheets, sipping their cold coffees with tears rolling down their cheeks, and didn't say anything else.

Two days later, and he had tried to back out at least half a dozen times, attempting to convince Tae that he could handle the whole issue without any professional help. He was desperate to not be sent away, but Tae stood his ground, and Jimin was so much more afraid of losing the new level of closeness he had with his friend, so he called the health services, and admitted himself into the self-harm clinic.

Tae was there to say goodbye. He held Jimin's hand and stroked his hair, pushing his fringe out of his eyes, and promised him that they would all be there at the end of the treatment. He promised that HE would be waiting for Jimin.

The darkest thoughts didn't believe him.

And as he walked through the door into the care of the doctors and nurses, he felt like the last of the colour in his life was finally gone.