The Shattered Frame

A Shopping Trip

Skull looked just about ready to murder Holly. He often threatened to, of course, and I rarely took those threats seriously, but the look on his face as she piled another dozen shirts into the shopping trolley made me make a mental note to keep him well away from the kitchenware section.

"Nobody needs this many shirts," he said, coldly. "The most I ever had was two."

"I'm sure you also used a hole in the ground for a toilet," Holly replied, unconcerned. "Times change, Skully. And we don't know your clothing size; you need a few to try on."

I should probably mention that, after an incident involving George, Skull, and an electric whisk, we had given up calling him 'Jim' and had instead settled for 'Skully', which could at least pass as an ordinary nickname.

Skully glared down at the pile of clothes in the trolley. "This isn't 'a few', this is the whole damn store!"

It had taken us a week to convince Skully to come clothes shopping with us – he seemed to dislike the chaos of modern London, with its masses of people and vehicles. Lockwood had had to promise to buy him all the milkshakes he wanted in order to persuade him; I think he was rather desperate to have Skully stop stealing his clothes, which was understandable, as the ex-ghost currently owned no underwear.

Kipps was off visiting his grandma and George had stayed home, partially because he had an aversion to clothes that weren't ragged and discoloured, and partially because, whenever he and Skully were in the same place, more likely than not a slap fight would occur, and Holly insisted that wasn't appropriate in public. So today it was just me, Skully, Lockwood, Holly, and Rani, who had tagged along to spend some time with her girlfriend. Holly had since explained to her all about how the Orpheus Society had brought the skull back to life.

"Give the kid a break, Hol," she chastised. "He's probably never had to go shopping before."

"My feet huuurt," Skully whined.

"You can sit down when we get to the shoes," Holly said.

"And how long will that be?" I said, a little apprehensively; my feet were starting to hurt too, as Holly had already made us spend half an hour looking at socks.

"Well, we still need trousers, jumpers, jackets, coats..." Holly said as she held up a blazer to Skully to inspect. "And maybe a suit."

"What do I need a suit for?!" Skully exclaimed.

"For special occasions," Holly said, patiently. "Parties and birthdays..."

"When is your birthday, Skully?" Lockwood said, curiously as he rifled idly through the trouser rack.

"Well, on a cold Halloween night in 1859..." Skully started.

"As if you were born on Halloween," I said.

"... my mother was in labour and I popped out just after midnight on the first of November," Skully finished.

"Bummer," I said.

Skully nodded solemnly. "It was the greatest disappointment of my life."

"Ooh, your birthday's not too far away then," said Rani. "We'll have to celebrate!"

"I'll bake a cake," said Holly.

Skully looked at her with slightly less murder in his eyes. "I have no objection to that. As long as there's no fruit in it. And George doesn't get any."

Holly smiled. "I'll make it chocolate, and a separate one for George."

"I almost forgive you for this hell trip," said Skully.