The Most Pointless Story in the Universe. Probably

Cars

I got a new computer.

It's small

And light

Yay?

Hey, it's me again, HumanWreakingBall. 

And I got a new computer.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yesssssssssssssssss

Ok anyways, I'm gonna write a chapter now, because I have to, so I will talk about cars. 

I love cars. I wanted to move to the town in the cars movies and become friends with giant talking cars when I was a child.

I now realize how messed up that fantasy is, but that's not the point.

But yeah I'm totally obsessed with cars. It's in the top three rankings of my things I like list. 

1. Hot girls

2. Key lime pie

3. Cars 

Cars are also involved in things I want to do

1. Get a hot girlfriend

2. Eat my weight in key lime pie

3. Get a cool car

It's not that I don't have a car, I do, but it's not exactly the chick magnet I want. 

I have a minivan. 

It's ok

I mean I like the mini van. I can fit all my friends in there plus I have a TV but no girl's gonna be like "That's a nice mini van, go out with me"

I don't know if that would happen if I had a Ferrari, but that's also not the point. 

Actually, the majority of my friends make fun of my mini van.

Wait, that's a lie, they kinda like it, but they like to tease me even more. 

Alright so my mini van's kinda old, but there is no reason to call it a disaster on wheels! 

Whenever I drive it somewhere my friends say that the disaster is in the disaster on wheels.

MINI VANS HAVE FEELINGS!!!!! And like, so do I but clearly no one cares. 

If I wasn't so scared of motorcycles I would buy one. One day I was walking back from the store and all of a sudden this motorcycle flies by, runs into a sign and the rider guy went flying into a building.

I don't think he was ok.

I mean I'm so accident prone on land, I do not think I'll be safe riding on a motorcycle.  

So maybe no motorcycle. 

I was thinking about painting flames on my minivan, to make it a hot mini van. 

Yeah that's a good idea. 

A lot of my friends have cooler cars then I do. Well, two of them don't cuz they're exchange students but let's face it, it's not hard to top a mini van. 

On the bright side I can sleep in my van.

On the brighter side I can sleep with a girl in my van.

But like that's kinda weird.

So maybe not. 

My friends tell me I'm insane, and that I will never get a girlfriend.

Not true. I am what you call, a passionate lover. I don't wait for love to come to me, I go to it. 

If that means chasing every hot girl from here to glasgow, SO BE IT!!!!!!!!

Now let me tell you another story. 

So once upon a time we got a super freaking hot assistant teacher. Everyone keeps telling me she's 35 but I don't believe them.

My aunt's 35 and she's definitely not that hot. 

Sadly she gives my friends more attention then me. I don't know why. 

Well, not true. 

RenardRoux has a flipping french accent which isn't fair. I swear to god if this teacher lady turns out to have a thing for the French I will fight someone.

And that is why I have been teaching myself to speak french, and have a french accent, and pretty much be french. 

Me: Bonjour ! Je suis un chou!

Momfayette: You just said you are a cabbage

So maybe I need work. Someday I will a hot car, and a hot assistant teacher girlfriend and will speak French.

But until then I will love my mini van, read a french dictionary and flirt with those girls down the hall. 

I think I need to modify my things to do list.

1. Get a hot girlfriend

2. Eat my weight in Key lime pie

3. Get a hot car

4. Become French 

LoneWolf says I should name this chapter "Wishful thinking*

Nahhhhh.