Everybody passed around me some were totally drunk falling off to the ground, some with a bottle in their hand, according to them "enjoying life" Others just simply accompanied by any woman the find and pretend having sex without love.
And me, with a glass of whisky in the hand, sit down, away from everything that they and that I called fun. It is weird how people change and even weirder know that they change for someone, that has any future with you.
I turned around and between all the people invited to that "party", I searched for him with my eyesight, but he wasn't there and again floods my mind that thought that tortures me since I know him "he is a man, you are a man, you love him, but he doesn't love you... there is no future for both of you" , they say that psychologist are there to help, but it destroyed me more.
Anyway... I didn't found him, so I just supposed the most logic thing "he is with a woman, having sex". I finished the whisky and started to walk between all those people, I went to the second floor and walk to my room.
By passing by his bedroom I couldn't stopped hearing some other regret, I peeked a little more and opened the door a little. There he was, with a cigarette in the hand and in the other one in his eyes, I supposed covering his tears.
"What's going on?" I entered his room and he got jump scared.
"What are you doing here?" he took a puff on his cigarette.
"You didn't answer me" I told him while I was leaned to the door trying not to run and hug him.
"I just... wanted to rest" he turned off his cigarette and getting closer "and you"
"I wanted to rest" I looked every faction of his face like an obsessive, I just hope he doesn't notice "well... I'll leave you"
"Wait" He leaned in closer "Can we talk? I need help"
"Okey" I passed for a cost and sit down in his bed and thank we are with the lights out, that's how it doesn't seem that my cheeks are burning flames.
"You know" he sat down next to me "I feel in love, of someone I would never imagine of, but I passed and shouldn't done it, you know?, It's so special that... I feel like an idiot at done that"
"Well..." I think about what I was going to tell him that forget about that person and be with me, because I love him? Or maybe that him going after that person that loves "at least you know if it feels the same way?"
"Well not" He laughed and I wished that always be like this, that he just laughed for me "But I think that is something logic"
"You cant know if it is logic, if you don't ask the person"
"Maybe you are right" he turned around to see me "I cant know if at least I have an opportunity, if I don't ask to it"
"Exactly, never take it for granted" I put a hand in his shoulder and enjoy of that little touch of his skin with mine, something that i will try to remember forever "Go and ask"
"I will" he got up decided, I admired a little bit more his face, the soft line of his fleshy lips, before he got out from that door and maybe then, he will be with someone new in his life and probably be his new lover.
"Go" I dedicated him a smile, he got out of the bedroom and I pray, I pray him to come back, I pray that the time stops and he never follow my advice
I leak some tears, I love him, yes, but "There is no future together" I sight resigned, knowing that I lost again the person that I most love in this life and I got out o his bedroom. I walked slowly, like if every step had a lift to raise. I closed the door and lean in the door until falling to the floor, I snuggle between my legs and shed some tears... I love him but he is not for me.
I hit the ground, clean my tears and I became a little ball on the floor... in that moment that I heard a guitar sound, I know it is him, and you know what it is worst of all? He is playing "Bon Jovi, idiot"
The sound every time it was louder, with a voice accompanied, like it was outside of the door
I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you are swimming to the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you wont save me anymore
I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance
I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I want to be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you.
I hears that someone knock the door.
Before I opened the door I clean my face, I sight "be strong" I opened the door, and there he was with a smile and a guitar in the hand.
"Sam" he stopped playing "Can I ask you something that I possibly got a very hard punch that I wouldn't have kids?"
"IDIOT" I smile, It maybe... No Sam don't make yourself illusions "What were you gonna aks me?"
"Do you like me?" fuck Colby I love you I feel my cheeks burn and maybe they be more red that a tomato.
"Colby..."
"I'm just following your advice" he left the guitar in the door and got inside for a cost "Do you like me?" I turned around and closed the door.
"Colby" I looked him in the eyes and got closer slowly, "Saying that I love you will be like saying that..."
"I knew it" he got crestfallen "Sorry" He wanted to get out but grabbed him by the arm.
"It will like telling you a lie, because Colby I don't like you, I love you" I leaned him to me, just to be centimeters away "I love you, more than my own life" I kissed hi, I never thought that his lips taste so good, sweet, fleshy, they make this kiss perfect, that makes it with love.
"I love you too" he got away a little "You don't know since when" he kissed me again and take me to the wall.
And this time, I should thought about my advice "Don't take anything for granted", I thought he loved other person, but he loves me and just me.
"You don't know how much I waited for this" he got away for air "I love you Sam"
"And me too" I kissed him again, with despair and above all fear, that all this is just a dream "Is this the reality?"
"This is more than real that all you know" he smiled "It will always be real"
The End
