Love Me - An Okikagu Love Story Part Three

Kagura POV

"Damn, who thought my brother would get engaged before me?" I said. Sougo looked over at me and said, "You've been saying that for the past month. Nobume proposed and they're both horribly in love." 

"Ew, I know right? Since when does my brother, act like a lovesick freak?" I said. "Argh! I cannot figure this out to save my life!" I groaned as I scribbled all over my scrap paper. Sougo leaned over and sighed. "I just helped you with this sort of problem twenty minutes ago. You didn't pay attention did you?"

"Oh shush. How could I when I have the hottest tutor in the whole world?" I said, crinkling my nose. He smiled. "Cute, but we have to focus."

"Fine. Teach me and I promise I will give you 55% of my whole undivided attention."

"At least it's better than 25%," he grumbled. I grinned at him and he shook his head before beginning his boring ass explanation on how to find the x. I sighed and did my best to follow along, but something kept bugging me. Kamui and Nobume would be away from each other for four years, give or take a few trips here and there. I'd seen what happens in long distance relationships and they rarely last. 

"Sougo,' I said and he looked up at me.

"Did I lose you again?" He teased. 

"No, it's not that." He immediately straightened, upon seeing my face. 

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"This whole thing with Kamui and Nobume, had me thinking. Sougo where are you going to school?" I said. We'd done out best to avoid talking about this. We didn't want to worry about it until we had to, but I needed to know. Everyone knew I planned to stay here. There were plenty of people here who had offered to help me train and I didn't want to leave in general. Not until I was sure that Ginpachi wouldn't starve to death and that Megane-chan had hope for getting a life partner. 

Sougo sighed, but he knew that I wasn't going to be put to the side. Again. "I'm going to a school in Okinawa. It's a specialized police academy and for the last two years, they take the top ten students to America to work the force there."

"You're aiming for that." It wasn't a question. He nodded. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? Okinawa? America?" I shouted, standing up. Okinawa was at least forty hours away and America, America was all the way across the ocean. Oh my god, Kamui and I were both facing four years alone. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would freak out. I wanted to spend the last month of high school without fighting."

"Why are you going to a school so far away? Lord knows we have a shit ton of good schools here! In Tokyo! Why so far away?" I asked. He swallowed nervously. 

"It's the school where Hijikata went." 

"Oh my god, him again? He broke your sister's heart! And you're just gonna let that dictate your entire life?" I said exasperated. "Why is it so impossible for you to let it go?" 

"It's not that simple!" He said, also standing up. "My sister never stopped loving him, but she managed to find herself another man who treated her right. They were going to get married, but Hijikata uncovered that he was part of this mafia thing. My sister was dying  and all I asked was that he put off arresting the man until she was gone. She had days and she wanted to be married more than anything. He shoved my request to the side and robbed her of her dying wish. He didn't even come to see her before she died. And you want me to just forget that? He stole my Uncle from me. The minute he entered our lives, it was all about him. He's always been better than me! I can handle that, but when he did that to my sister, my sister who'd done nothing but love him, I made a pact to myself. To surpass him and make his life a living hell!"

"You asked him, a cop, to look the other way. To pretend he didn't see what was there. That goes against everything he's supposed to uphold! I'm sorry about your sister, I am, but he probably didn't see her, because he felt horrible for not being able to let her have that wedding. He probably knew she still loved him and he didn't think he was worthy of seeing her! And have you seen me and Kamui and my father? I don't make it my life mission to ruin Kamui's life for being what my father wants, I only plan to prove my father wrong!"

"Why are you on his side!" He shouted. 

"You know why! He was there when no one else was! He's my family!" I shouted the word and his face went ashen. "Sougo," I said, cursing myself. 

"No, I get it. Family trumps everything." I could almost hear his inner words. Including me. 

"Sougo, that's not what I meant. I love him in the same way I love Gin-chan and Megane. I love you in a way that trumps them. But that does not mean, I can just sit back and watch you do this to you and him," I pleaded. The eyes he gave me ripped through my entire being. They were haunted and I hated that. "Sougo, please." 

"I, can't. Not tonight. I'm sorry. I need to go. Please be gone by the time I get back," he said, reaching for his jacket. I grabbed his hand. 

"Sougo, look at me. I'm not choosing him over you. He's not better than you. That would be like saying megane is better than you and that's not what I'm saying. I'm just...upset. I don't want you to go so far away from me. I want you to be here with me. I don't want Hijikata to take over your life like this. I want you to choose me over him."

Silence. He seemed to have froze as my words washed over him. After a few moments, he said quietly, "Kagura. Let me go."

Tears filled my eyes. "Why?" I asked. "Why can't you look me in the eye! You complain and whine how everybody chooses him over you, but aren't you doing the exact same thing to me! You're leaving me because of him!" He said nothing, just gently pried my hand off of his arm. "Fine Sougo. You don't have to leave. This is your place after all. I'll go." I said. I bent down and shoved all my stuff into my bag. 

I put my hand on the door and said, "And I won't come back."