Let's keep each other safe from the world

Chapter five - I Never Wanted To Be Thinking This Loud

Song of the Chapter: Blonde - Waterparks

TW: panic attack, if you ever need a rundown of what happens in a chapter because you don't want to trigger yourself, just send me a message and I will give you one.

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A hopeful smile appeared on all three of the guys faces, so it was clear that Awsten had mentioned the situation to them when Geoff was taking Ari upstairs.

"Geoff tell us! Can she come?" Otto asked impatiently, the three of them staring at him intently, waiting to hear the answer.

"They said yes!" Geoff grinned at his friends, the grin transferring to their faces a split second later.

"This is going to be amazing!" Awsten announced. "All five of us together!" He couldn't keep the smile off his face, and he felt no need to. They were all so thrilled they wouldn't have to leave their best friend behind. Their memories of this tour would include Aurora, which instantly made it better.

For a while the four of them celebrated, talking about how amazing tour was going to be, but eventually, they all got tired. Geoff and Awsten made their way to the blow-up mattress Awsten had sorted in his room earlier, and Otto and Jawn both took a sofa. When Geoff and Awsten snuck into the room, they could see Ari was still asleep, so they made as little noise as possible as they climbed into the makeshift bed, wishing each other a quiet goodnight before trying to fall asleep.

As Awsten lay there, he couldn't help but think of the next few months. He knew Aurora might find it hard being so cooped up in a tour bus, but he also knew she would rather do that than stay here alone. They hadn't even asked her if she wanted to come yet, but they were all pretty certain that she would say yes. Awsten imagined taking her out to his favourite places in all the cities that they had already visited and were going to be revisiting on this tour. Showing her places where he had found a few moments of calm in all of the rush of the tour. He wanted to help her through everything that was going on, he didn't want her to feel alone. Awsten opened his eyes and looked over at the girl laying on his bed, the light from the moon shining through the window and basking her face in its soft glow. She looked peaceful, soft, and so very beautiful. Her already pale complexion looked even paler in the moonlight glow. Awsten rolled on to his back and let out a small sigh. Living with her for two months was going to be so hard. Wanting to confess his feelings but being too scared to do so was going to suck. Eventually, he allowed sleep to consume him.

When she woke up to the sunlight shining in through the window, Ari was surprised to find she hadn't had a nightmare. She didn't have them every night, but it was more common than not for her to have one. With that thought, a smile played on her lips as she opened her eyes. Awsten and Geoff were laying there still asleep, so Ari carefully got up and tiptoed out of the room, careful not to make any noise. She continued on her way downstairs, figuring that Otto and Jawn would still be asleep, and made her way into the kitchen. Her guess seemed to be correct as she found the kitchen empty, so she poured herself a glass of water and took a seat at the small table that was pushed up against the wall of Awsten's kitchen.

Pulling out her phone from the pocket of the jeans she had fallen asleep in last night, Ari decided to scroll through some of her Instagram feed as she waited for someone else to wake up. She wasn't the biggest fan of Instagram, she just liked having somewhere to store all the photos of nature she took. She'd always been a big fan of nature, finding it so calming, peaceful and beautiful. Scrolling down Instagram could easily become boring very fast, however, so Ari decided she'd scroll once more, then close it down. That one more scroll was a mistake.

Her heart was in her mouth, she couldn't move she couldn't breathe she couldn't blink. Why why why. The face of her nightmares. Her mouth was dry. So dry. Everything froze. She couldn't tear her eyes off him him him. Her hands started shaking, her phone slipping out of her hand, hitting the table with a clutter. She couldn't move. Paralysed by the fear of the memories. Her chest felt so heavy, like someone dropped a thousand bricks on top of her. She couldn't do this. Her whole body was shaking but she couldn't move. It was like time had frozen her in place.

"Aurora! Oh fuck." She heard a voice, but everything was so muffled, and she couldn't move, couldn't breathe.

"Aurora, come on look at me!" She heard the voice again, but she was still frozen, stuck, trapped.

Then she felt the hands on her arm. It was like a key turning in a lock, her arm jerking away from the touch like it burned like someone had held a red-hot piece of metal to her skin.

"NO, stop please, stopstopstop" she cried, her voice cracking and wobbling. Her hands shot up, grabbing the hair on her head, and she pulled pulled pulled. It needs to stop. Everything needs to stop.

"Geoff!" she heard the voice again. It was louder this time but still muffled. Still felt like drowning and falling and trapped.

It wasn't long before a different voice became apparent.

"Ari, it's me, Geoff, you're okay, you are safe, I'm right here, can you try and look at me please?" The sound was soft and soothing. She lifted her eyes up from the table and turned to the direction the voice came from.

"That's it, Ari, I'm proud of you, you can do this, you're okay, everything is going to be okay, can you try and breathe for me?" She tried her best to focus on the sound of Geoff's voice, but the picture was flashing through her mind over and over.

"Try and copy my breathing yeah? In and out, nice and slow" And she did, she did try. She watched as Geoff's chest rose and fell, and tried to match her breathing to that rhythm. Eventually, after a long time of copying Geoff's breathing, Ari finally had hers under control again.

"You want to try and tell me what happened?" he asked in his softest voice, still crouching down on the floor next to the chair she was sitting in.

Instead of trying to talk, Ari just slid her phone over to Geoff. Luckily it landed upside down, so she didn't have to worry about seeing that again. Geoff took the phone and immediately frowned at what he saw. It was a picture of that man with some girl Ari must have followed. He felt his heart shatter for his best friend once again.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Ari, how about you go lie down for a bit? I'm sure you're exhausted, that's one of the worst ones I've seen you have." Geoff suggested, his voice soft and calm and soothing.

"Can you lay with me?" Ari asked, her voice strained and tired.

"Of course, are you okay with me touching you?" he asked warily. He didn't want to try and help her upstairs if touching her would send her anxiety back through the roof. He got a small nod in return, so he stood up and held out his hands for his tired friend. Soon enough his hands were filled with hers and he pulled her to her feet gently, before lightly wrapping his arm around her waist in order to support her.

"Come on, just one step at a time, and before you know it you can be all curled up in a nice warm duvet." Geoff gave words of encouragement to her, and they were on their way - one tired, wobbly step at a time.

As they passed the living room, he peeked inside and saw Awsten come to a halt, staring out the open doorway. Geoff mouthed 'she'll be okay' to his distressed friend and continued in helping Ari upstairs. Once they reached Awsten's bed, Geoff helped her lay down and pulled the blanket over her before climbing into the bed next to her, being careful not to touch her. He knew she said she would be okay with him touching her, but he didn't want to push her over any boundaries.

"Can you sing to me? I've always loved your voice," Ari confessed in her sleepy state, her eyelids drooping, her breathing evening out. Geoff knew she would be out in seconds, but he complied with her wish nonetheless and started to sing.