✔ || Save Me [[SEQUEL to DISTRACT ME]]

Chapter 49

"Kookie?"

Jeongguk forced himself to look up and meet Jimin's shining eyes. He had been sitting on the couch staring off at nothing for the past few hours, so his neck cracked loudly when he turned.

They both flinched at the noise. Then, Jimin murmured, "Have you eaten?"

The maknae managed to stiffly shake his head.

Why hadn't he cried? Why couldn't he just fucking cry?

It had been weeks, for fuck's sake.

But all the maknae could do was float around the dorm like a ghost. Lost. Unfeeling. And when he absolutely had to leave the apartment, he found himself hiding from the world deep within his mind, imagining it was his arm squeezing assuringly around his shoulders - protecting him from the frenzy of activity that always surrounded them in public - instead of Namjoon's or Seokjin's.

Jimin nodded sadly, pursing his lips. "There's...I want to show you something. But we'll have to go to the studio."

Jeongguk was shaking his head before Jimin even finished. "No," he croaked, his voice dry and lifeless.

Not there. Not where he sat. Not where they held each other. Where his presence would echo in the dull walls.

Jeongguk had never imagined that losing him would mean he'd lose himself too.

Jimin sighed. "It's about -"

"Don't," Jeongguk cut him off.

"Kookie -"

"Hyung," Jeongguk begged.

He'd never seen Jimin so depressed.

I just want to cry.

The elder pressed, "It's about Taehyung."

Jeongguk almost collapsed at the sound of his name. It sounded like music no matter who said it, and he couldn't believe that he once took that beautiful word for granted. He gripped at his hair. "Do I have to?"

Jimin reached out to touch him, but when Jeongguk cowered away, he just sighed, "Yes."

And so Jeongguk dragged himself to his feet and let Jimin lead him out of the dorm, down the stairwell, and outside. Jeongguk squinted in the blinding sunlight. And then they were surrounded by cameras - paparazzi and sasaengs alike swarming like bees.

Jimin fended them off with the help of their managers and body guards while Jeongguk buried himself deep within his psyche - the only place he was safe. But even there, the absence of him weighed like an anvil.

Finally, finally they were in their car and speeding off to the studio.

All too quickly, the two boys were standing in front of the vacant recording room. Jimin was watching the maknae out of the corner of his eye, searching for anything, but Jeongguk just blinked blankly at the door. It was a looming, nightmarish behemoth, and there was no way Jimin was going to get him to touch it, let alone open it.

Jimin must have sensed this, for he was the one who grabbed the knob. Jeongguk lurched his arm forward, trying to stop him, but his movements were too clumsy and slow. Malnutrition and insomnia had weakened his body beyond an even remotely healthy limit - even as he just stood there, his legs quivered under his weight. He could hardly even dance anymore.

It would have been better if they had just broken up. At least then he'd know that he was okay. Was alive. Jeongguk didn't even know that much now, though he had to believe he was. Had to. His fragile mind would shatter beyond repair if he wasn't.