She Loves Control

Shivering Gold

A/N: SMUT IS HERE. might not be as good as the previous smut but I like it... smut is also way more fun when you have someone to inspire it... yet here I am without inspiration and only my imagination..

Five Camren points if you know where the title's from

----

Lauren didn't know what to do. So she slammed the door shut and spun around, eyes wide.

"Laur..." Camila sighed. Lauren gulped, feeling her eyes water slightly. Normani and Ally appeared at the end of the hallway, curious looks on their faces.

Lauren shook her head.

"Please let me in." Camila said, her voice leaking through the door. Normani and Ally's eyes growing wide instantly before scurrying away back to the sofa. Lauren closed her eyes and bit her lip, leaning back against the door with a muted thud.

"Go away Camila." Lauren replied. There was a thud from the otherside of the door.

"I'm not going anyway Laur. Please. Let me in." Camila asked. Lauren swallowed the sob that was building and let out a shaky breath.

"I didn't mean it." Camila started softly. "All I wanted to do was blow off some steam and come home to you. But I guess I just kept getting drinks. Last thing I remember is thinking 'I should really go back to Laur'." There was a deep intake of breath and short sniffle.

"Dinah was right to call me a storm. I'm self destructive. I get something good and then ruin it. I used to think that's what I did with her... but I know that was different now. What you don't know is my first girlfriend after Chloe." Camila said quietly, letting the tears leave tracks on her face.

"I'd rather not tell you with a door in the way Lo."

Lauren felt the sharp metallic taste of blood touch her tongue, she hadn't even noticed she'd been biting her lip too hard. She shakily turned around and opened the door, Camila stumbling inside slightly before spinning around and facing Lauren.

"Guys." Lauren called out. Normani and Ally popped their heads around the wall and hurried past the two girls with quiet goodbyes. Lauren stepped aside and let Camila into the apartment properly.

"You have ten minutes." Lauren said shakily, moving to the sofa and sitting down. She folded her arms and bit down hard on the inside of her cheek.

"She was everything I needed after an abusive relationship. Kind, understanding and patient." Camila started, pacing in front of Lauren as she wrung her hands together. "I told her about my ex and she instantly understood I'd need time. It'd only been a couple months when I did something dumb. I just... stopped. She tried to help but she gave up and left. Couldn't handle my going out each night and getting drunk."

"Sounds familiar." Lauren said under her breath. Camila snorted and nodded.

"It's exactly what I did last night. I know that. I might not remember it but I know what I did was because I'm not used to having someone care about me enough to wonder where I am at night."

"You have Dinah. Demi. Your family." Lauren pointed out.

"Dinah knows my tendencies. Even now she wouldn't be too worried. Demi was never the one I went to when I fucked up. And my family? I haven't seen them in years. Let alone spoken to them. They didn't like who I became after Chloe." Camila explained.

"You should've called me." Lauren said with a sigh. Camila nodded, finally stopping and standing in front of Lauren.

"I should've just driven here in the first place. It hadn't crossed my mind that it was the 17th. I was too happy. Barely noticed time passing with you. But I fell back onto reflex; went out and got plastered." Camila said, frowning at herself.