Hiiii my little minions. Crossover three is still in the process of being written. I want to make sure it's the best one out there so it's taking a few days, but I promise I'll have it out soon. So enjoy this one.
You always had those days where things caught up to you. Today was one of those days, unfortunately.You watched the little cascades of raindrops flutter slowly down the window, betting on which raindrop would fall first when your mind had slowly lulled into a deep dark state.
Bobby, Adam, Charlie, Kevin, Ash, Joe, Helen, Dad, Benny...the list was very long, toxic.
You started to think about how many people you had lost, and then the worst came.You started to think about how many times you had lost your brothers, about how many more times you probably would shortly.
You replayed their deaths in your head, replaying them going to hell and the times' Sam had left for Stanford or Ruby or Meg or to lead an everyday life.The last two thoughts had screwed you up badly, and on instinct, you glanced towards your older brother in fear you would look over towards the passenger side, and he would be gone.
You knew Dean would be there, Dean promised never to leave you, and he didn't. Sam, however, did, so you were stuck with the constant fear of him going.
"You okay, Kiddo? You're quiet for once." Dean chuckled, his eyes raking over the rearview mirror as he glanced at you.
You were a quiet and sarcastic, and witty person. You had Dean's personality, short-tempered, protective, tart, and self-loathing.
However, you did have a snippet of Sam in you. Sensitive, caring, and intelligent.
Your Sam and Dean side fought the most when you experienced days like this. Dean's side wanted you to keep quiet and hide your feelings just like Dean himself did. In contrast, Sam's side wanted you to talk about your feelings.
It was like a civil war in your head.
You nodded, turning on your side and staring out at the window. Dean and Sam flashed each other a look; they both knew that if you were quiet and not responding to Dean's comment as 'Me? I'm awesome' then something was probably bothering you.
''You want a blanket, bud?''Sam asked sweetly, trying to look around for something in case you were cold. Dean reached over and turned up the heating as Sam wound up his window, but you shook your head and nestled further into the car seat.
Dean pulled the car over, stopping for gas as he got out and headed towards the store. You glanced over at Sam, the constant paranoia that he would walk away any minute was bubbling up inside you.
Sam was flicking through his phone, answering unanswered messages and checking for any updates on hunts.
''Sammy''You whispered, voice hoarse and quiet. Sam didn't look up from his phone, not sensing it was essential but responded.
''Yeah, bud?''He hummed, still flicking through his phone.''Came you stay back here with me?''You mumbled, fiddling with your thumbs. Sam's fingers froze across the screen. He hadn't heard you sound this vulnerable in a long time. Nor had he seen you want comfort in a long time either; you were always so guarded and closed off from him.
Sam twisted his body around and peered at you with gentle, caring eyes. "(Y/n), what's wrong?"Sam asked with a worried tone.
''Sammy''You whimpered out, not answering his question but just giving him pleading eyes. ''Please"
The minute you choked out the word, Sam had nodded in understanding and made his way out of the car before opening your side and shuffling in.
He made himself comfortable, trying his best to settle as his limbs were long and broad. You leaned against his side, resting your head on his chest and letting him wrap an arm around you as you gripped his plaid shirt tightly and closed your eyes.
Sam's fingers stroked through your hair as you listened to his heartbeat thump in his chest. The door opened, and Dean was halfway through his sentence before he stopped.
"She okay?"
There was a movement of Dean shutting the car door as he got in and drove off and a gesture of Sam shrugging.
"not sure''Sam, whispered, continuing to brush your locks away from your face.
''She asleep?"
"I think so..."
SPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSP
You had fallen asleep against your older brother, his familiar scent and warmth soothing you into a lullaby. You had woken up halfway through the journey and saw Sam was half asleep.
You clutched tighter to him and began to cry softly. Sam's face twitched when he felt something wet land on his hand. Your eyes slammed shut the minute he stirred and pried open his sleepy eyes.
Dean glanced back in the mirror but figured it was something you had to sort out with Sam, so he kept out of it.
You felt the rough skin of Sam's thumb gently swipe away your tears as your eyes fluttered open to look up at your big brother glancing down at you with a concerned frown.
Dean finally pulled over to the bunker and got out, giving Sam a secret nod to show he understood you both needed to talk.
You were about to leave when Sam grabbed your wrist and pulled you back gently.
"(Y/n), talk to me, bud. What's going on?''Sam whispered, his voice pleading. You sat silently for a moment before you started to cry and finally gave in.
''I miss everyone so much. I miss Bobby, I miss Dad, and I miss Adam and everyone else that has died because they came near us. I'm so sick of being hurt or watching my big brothers die and get taken away from me. I'm so sick of waking up every day and hoping that you haven't left us-"
"That's what's troubling you? You're scared I'm going to leave?''Sam gaped, slightly hurt but understanding.
"(Y/n)...listen, I'm not gonna say I didn't leave a good few times because I did, so I understand that you're reluctant to trust me when I say I'm here for good; but trust me, I'm not going anywhere."He repeated slowly, promising you with his words.
You nodded after searching for the answer in his eyes before leaning forward and hugging him tightly.
''It's okay, bud. We all have our moments. This life is hard''Sam sighed, running his hand over the back of your head as he leaned down and kissed the crown of your head.