Somehow I was able to be convinced to go out to eat with the boys before going back to the hotel. I was silent the hole time. It wasn't much fun for me.
I lay on the bed in our hotel room. I'm rested up against cam. Our hands are entwined. Suddenly I get some urge in my body. I feel the urge to do it again. It's as if cutting is a drug. Once you start you're addicted and you, in a way, crave to cut. I grab a bunch of cams shirt in my hand and squeeze it tightly trying to suppress it. I can't do it again. I have to be strong for Carter and Cameron.
"Alia," cam starts. I shut my eyes and squeeze them together. "Alia, are you okay?" His voice rises now. He sits up. I shake my head. "What's wrong?" He says, his voice frantic and scared. I don't answer. I can't resist anymore. I jump up and rush to the bathroom. Cam is close behind and enters the bathroom with me. I see how worried his face looks.
"I have to," I plainly say. There is no emotion in my voice. "I can't resist it. It's like a drug. Give me one of my blades." I say. I know he hid them.
"I can't let you." He says.
"Cam, this is my drug. I'm addicted. I have to do this. I have no choice." I say. He sighs and exits the room muttering something I can't make out. He returns with what that I need. He has a blade, and a paper towel. I realize now how messy his hair is. His eyes seem tired. I feel horrible for doing this to him. I take the things and stand by the sink. He comes and wraps his arms around my waist, setting his chin on my shoulder.
"Two cuts on each arm and that's it. Got it?" He whispers in my ear. I nod. It should be enough to satisfy my needs for now. "Go ahead." He says.
I take the blade in my shaky right hand and slide it across my left wrist twice. The numb feeling returns to my forearm. I feel Cam place two kisses on my cheek. I switch the blade to my left hand. I shakily drag it across my right wrist twice as the blood runs down the already cut wrist. I set the blade down and sit still as Cam kisses me twice on my other cheek. He then takes the paper towels and dries off my wrists. He carefully wipes up all the blood on my forearms. He then takes each hand in his hand and turns them over so my wrists are facing up. He bends down and kisses all four scars, tenderly. I smile as he straightens up and pulls me into a hug.
"Only two cuts on each wrist for the rest of the times you need to cut. I have to get you to stop." He says. I nod.
"Okay."
~*~
It's been months now. Months since that day. I slowly, but ever so surly, was able to stop cutting. It's been 9 days since I stopped. The thousands of cuts on my arms have started to fade slowly. I believe it was Cameron who mostly helped me stop. My birthday is today. I've seen Carter a few times in dreams but not much. I kiss him like hell.
"Al?" I hear Nash call down the stairs. We finally moved into the boy's house. Nash and I have become best friends. I'm sitting in the living room in front of the fire place, sipping on a mug filled with coffee. It's winter now. It's only slightly cold here. It's a record cold of course, though. It's 33༠F outside right now. Only a light layer of snowflakes.
"Yeah?" I finally tell back. Cam is out right now running errands. We have dated for quite a few months now. If you don't count the week-and-a-half that we split it will be almost 10 months that we have dated now.
"The phones for you." He says. I set down my coffee cup and run up the stairs to Nash's room. I enter and he hands me the phone.
"Hello?" I say, clueless as to whom it is.
"Hi there dear!" A familiar voice comes through. It's Carter's mom.
"Hello!" I say, suddenly getting more awake. It is only 10:00am but in tired from being lazy.
"Um, I have something for you. It's from Carter." My breath hitches as she says his name. It can't be. No. He's dead.
"What is it?" I ask. She sighs.
"It's his necklace. The one he always wore." I find myself tearing up. "I think he would want you to have it." My breath hitches again. Tears start to roll down my cheeks.
"T-thank you so much Mrs. Reynolds." I choke through the tears.
"Your welcome dear, I already mailed it to you so it should be coming soon. I just wanted you to know." I smile through my tears.
"Thank you, have a good day." I say, trying to remain calm.
"You too." She says. I hang up and take the phone back to Nash. When I explain the tears he engulfs me into a hug and squeezes me and lifts me off the ground, spinning me around.
"I knew he left something for you!" He exclaims. I laugh and dry my tears.
"I'm home!" We hear cam from downstairs and a door slam. I run downstairs and jump on him, wrapping my legs around his waist. "Woah! Did you miss me that much?" I laugh and climb down.
"His mom sent me his necklace. It should be here soon." I say. He must know who I mean by 'his' because a smile spreads across his face. I love his smile.
"So that's what's in this box for you." He says and hands me a box, slightly covered in snowflakes. I rip it open with my hands and pull out his necklace. The one with silver cross on it. I smile and have cam put it on me. I now have a part of him with me all the time. Cam puts away the groceries and then suggests that we go out to eat. Most of the boys went home for the holidays early so it's just me Nash and Cam.
"How about we go to Alias favorite, IHop!" Cam suggests. We all agree, as it is my birthday. We get ready and head out to the restaurant.
-
A/N: Dawwwwww isn't this cute! IT'S NOT OVER I PROMISE
It's my birthday!
All I want is 2/12 on twitter or a Cam follow...oops?
So I thought I would Change things up and skip ahead to winter and her birthday.
I need feedback on this story bc I like it but idk if the readers do.
I'm not sure what's gonna happen next but I guess I'll figure it out.
Qotd: when's you birthday? Comment below!
Vote, follow, share, you know the drill!
Love you minions! -K💕
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Shatter Me ( cameron dallas )
Fanfiction" somebody make me feel alive And Shatter Me "
