Survival: Book One

Chapter Thirty: Nick

  Nick woke up too many times to count that night, his mind was swimming. Every minute seemed to pass in hours as he lay awake with Troy snoring next to him. Troy's arm was thrown over Nick's chest so that he couldn't move. The house was too quiet and the candles had burnt out. He wanted to get up and go to the bathroom.
   "Troy," Nick whispered, "I don't want to wake you, man," he grunted under the weight of Troy's muscled arm, "Come on," Instead of moving,Troy snuggled Nick in and smiled in his sleep. He was a cuddler. Nick tried to scoot out from under him without waking him up.
  "No," Troy mumbled in his sleep, "I did not kiss him."
  Nick covered his mouth trying to keep laughter from flying out of it. What was he dreaming about ?  He pulled the blanket up around Troy, tucking him in and admiring the calmness of his sleeping features. He stretched and pulled on one of the new tank tops Troy had found him. He went out into the hallway and snuck down the stairs, hoping that Troy wouldn't notice he was gone. There was a candle lit in the kitchen. Nick went outside to pee, and as he came back in someone startled him. A shadow stood in the living room. As it moved into the light of the kitchen he realized it was his sister.
  "Alicia," Nick whispered, "What are you doing up?"
  "I didn't even see you," she said.
  "Yeah I just came in from outside, are you okay?"
  "What are you doing up?" She asked, instead of answering his question.
  Nick sat down on one of the bar stools in at the kitchen table, "Can't sleep." He rubbed his head and yawned, "Tired, but can't sleep."
  "Well, I'm up for the same reason then, I can't sleep either." Alicia sat next to him, "It's weird how clean this place is, right?" She looked up towards the ceiling, "It's almost like it was a trap."
  "Do you trust Tasha?" 
  Alicia fiddled with the melting candle wax, "I think I do. Elyza trusts her."
  "Troy isn't so sure yet."
  "He never is," Alicia giggled, "So, about Troy."
  Nick's shoulders instantly felt less tense. He had been waiting for time with his sister, even if it was in the middle of the night. They always helped each other, and he was dying to talk about things. "What about Troy?" A large grin grew on Nick's mouth, thinking about him.
  "You're obviously with him," Alicia said, "I knew you liked him! I knew it!" She did a little cheer, dancing in her seat. "Can't you just give me some details?" She batted her eye lashes at him.
  "You want to talk about this now? We should be sleeping," Nick said. She stuck out a pouty lip, "Okay, okay. But, I get to hear about Elyza."
  "Deal," Alicia smiled, "When did it happen?"
  "We knew we had some sort of feelings for each other, I mean, maybe even back at the ranch. But I kissed him at the cabins, he actually told  me to. I was tired of trying to figure out if he liked me or not."
  "Oh, so you both definitely knew," Alicia smiled, "You seem so happy around him, are you?"
  Nick blushed and smiled again, "Yeah. It was a bit confusing at first, still is a little overwhelming. I mean, I got the chance to be- Wait." Nick looked down, he didn't want to tell her that part. He still wasn't even sure if what his dad had done was real. "I tried to push him away at first. I was terrified, Alicia."
  Alicia touched his shoulder, "Why? Why would you be afraid of something so wonderful?"
  He laughed, "Why do you think? Do you remember what happened before in High School when I brought Derek home?"
  Alicia looked down, "Mom... Okay, I get it. And to be honest, I was scared too. Look at us. Gay, and we didn't even know it. It seems important now, to love openly, it was so much different before. Society had us all worried about loving each other, but it was the right thing all along." Now they were both laughing, trying to stay quiet as they reminisced about Nick's fling with a boy so long ago. Their mother had completely panicked, she even made Derek leave. It was humiliating for Nick, and he never spoke of his feelings after that. He focused on girls, and then he focused on drugs. Burying the depression and rejection with a high. It was only when he met Gloria that he finally opened up to someone again.
  "But we haven't labeled it yet, I mean I feel  like he is mine. We... we have told each other how much we care about the other. He's so incredible, Alicia, if people knew the real him. He's so much more than everyone sees. I couldn't imagine losing that now."
  She smiled, "I see it. I can see how he's trying. You were right about him Nick. I'm proud of you, big brother. You have always seen the light in even the darkest souls. Elyza and I haven't exactly made a point to labeling us either. I wonder all of the time, but she makes me so nervous. I never ask."
 "Troy makes me nervous too. It's a bit ridiculous. I've known him for some time now. We get along so well, we have so much chemistry that it is almost magnetic." Alicia was the best listener, Nick wondered what he would do without her.
  "It is not ridiculous, you're falling for him," Alicia lit a second candle as she spoke, "It's scary and it's even worse now, we are in danger all of the time. We could lose-" She stopped, "We won't lose them. Have you guys..." Alicia raised an eyebrow.
  "Have we what?" He didn't understand what she meant.
  "Oh come on Nick, you know." She made another face, raising both eyebrows.
  Ohhh, he blushed, now he got it. "No, actually, we haven't. I wanted to."
  "Why didn't you? That's why I'm awake. Lyza and I did. And, my God. I can't sleep now." She hid her face and laughed off the embarrassment of saying that out loud to her brother. Nick admired how open his sister was with him. They were best friends.
  "Licia scored before me, that's a first," Nick laughed, "That's your first time with a girl. Seems like that's why Troy wants to wait.. Things are moving too fast. My want for him is overwhelming my want to wait. But, he seems really touchy about that entire subject."
  "He'll get there."
  "I know, and I could wait for him until the end of time," Nick smiled at her, and she gave him a quick hug. The sun would rise in about five hours. They both needed sleep.
  "I'm so happy for you Nick, you guys do deserve each other. What a story to tell, when a boy falls in love with his friend. Maybe some day when we are old and gray, we'll look back on it."
  "How can you be so positive in this world Alicia? You really believe that?"
  "Hope is all that we have bud, that's why," She blew the candles out, "Good talk. You need to sleep, the bags under your eyes are scaring me. Go cuddle with Troy and rest." Nick smiled at her as she walked up the stairs. He sat in the dark for awhile, with so much hope in his heart. The once unlovable, melancholy boy, had fallen in love. He still couldn't believe that it had happened in all of this.
  Nick wandered back to his room and fell asleep almost as soon as he laid his head down.