Watching You Always

March 29th

I can hardly write this, my hands are shaking and tears are rimming my eyes. Mandy is in danger, and its all my fault.

Mandy called me last night; her voice was shaking and there were occasional sniffles as she spoke. She talked about how when she came home last night, there was a bloodied knife on her kitchen floor, a knife she had never seen before. She picked it up, and heard a large crash from the other room. So she set the knife down and checked - which there was nothing in any of the rooms - and when she came back, the knife and blood was gone.

My parents went out to eat last night. They said they would be back later. It is 3 in the afternoon on a Saturday and they still aren't here. What if he did something? Did he hurt my parents?

I got a text message from Man again last night. It was a photo of me sleeping. I don't know how he got it, but he did. How am I supposed to sleep with all of this happening? Does he know what he is doing?

Who is he?

I have so many questions. None that will be answered by writing in this stupid journal. Everything is fine. I'm just being paranoid, like I always am. I'm always paranoid.

Maybe he does love me? Maybe he's just trying to help.

No. No what am I thinking? This isn't normal. Everything that's happened isn't normal. Why am I thinking like this?

Why is this happening to me?

Onto less serious topics, I met a boy in my class yesterday. His name is Max. He's new to our class, with caramel brown hair and hazel eyes. He noticed I was on edge and talked to me, and tried his hardest to calm me down. Maybe I should text him, and try to talk to him about what has been going on. Maybe it would be nice to get an outside opinion, and he doesn't seem like the type to judge.

Would he think I'm crazy? I hope not.

It feels like I can't rely on anybody as of lately.

Maybe I can rely on him.