a/n
warnings: this story contains suicide, though no self harming. also it's very very sad
background stuff-
they are one grade apart, louis is graduating
they became friends at the start of 6th and 7th grade
and currently harry is 17
louis' 18
sorry if its confusing um yeah.
x
i don't think anyone saw it coming. i mean who could predict anything when it came to louis tomlinson. he was so unbelievably wonderful, it kept everyone on their toes. but i think that was what he wanted. he kept up mask, distracting everyone by being spontaneous; constantly putting on a show so that they couldn't get close him.
i guess that was where he was at fault. if his façade cracked even once, maybe he would still be here. his laugh would still be echoing off the lockers. that damn laugh. his real one of course, where his eyes would also laugh, squinting up at the ends.
but no one can hear his laugh. hell, you can't even hear a laugh at school anymore. he didn't know how much he affected us, everyone. it's different, as if it's empty. the school hallways are so pathetic, everyone crying, it makes me sick. how could he just leave us like this? did he not fucking knoW THAT EVERYONE CARED ABOUT HIM? DID HE NOT SEE HOW BROKEN WE WOULD ALL BE WITHOUT HIM. HOW COULD HE BE SO SELFISH TO LEAVE US AND TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT? HOW COULD HE LEAVE HIS FAMILY? how could he leave me?
it's not like he ever cared.
as soon as harry wrote that last sentence he immediately wished he could erase it. but that was the point wasn't it? to write his feelings without taking anything back. that's why louis had given him this fucking notebook and pen 4 years ago.
no pencil, no erasing. just the raw and honest truth. it said so right there on the front page in his messy eighth-grade handwriting.
harry felt bad that the only time he wrote in this stupid journal was when louis was gone but he didn't need to write anything down before. his life was normal; pathetically so. he wanted change so bad, craved it. but if he had known that his life would've been flipped upside down in this way, harry would've cherished every damn day of his sorry excuse of a life.
he spent most of his time thinking of louis and even though he's gone, he still hasn't left harry's mind. but they aren't the normal dreams when harry thinks of him.
they're nightmares.
copyright © 2014 by makeoutlouis, all rights reserved.
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blank page ↛ larry au
Fanfictionits been four years since louis and harry stopped talking. it wasn't harry's fault that louis grew up before his best friend. it wasn't his fault he was still in love with louis. it's not his fault that louis is gone, leaving nothing but his journal...
