The ending of Sarah and Harry's story, will they or won't they?
It has been five years since Harry and Sarah have seen each other. Sarah is now 29 and she is happily living in New York and pursuing her career. Harry is now 30 and he is living in Ho...
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This wasn't how I initially planned on spending my twenty-ninth birthday, surrounded by people shedding tears and dressed in all black. Corey squeezes my hand as we walk through the memorial home, the both of us feeling out of place. We're at a funeral for someone we both have never met, someone we've never even talked to. I offered to come alone, but Corey denied my requests immediately; I'm glad he did.
People with unfamiliar faces walk around us, no one stopping to talk or even look at us. I haven't seen him yet, or his family, but part of me knows that when I do I'll feel all torn up inside. It's been five years, five years since I've seen his face. I wonder if he looks different, older even, or if he seems just the same.
Harry's mother passed away at the beginning of the week, something I had heard from Kristina. Liam told her, and she relied it to me. She couldn't come because of a work obligation, but I knew that I couldn't just make that excuse, not for Harry.
"You alright, baby?" I nod my head, truthfully feeling okay on the outside but feeling like a wreck on the inside. Maybe bringing Corey was the worst decision I've ever had. Even as he knows about Harry and I's past, it still feels like bringing him here is just slapping him in the face with it.
The doors open in the back of the room, everyone around me turning to see the scene before us. Harry and his sister are standing behind the wooden casket, their faces red and swollen from crying. Harry's father stands behind them, his face sunken in and gloomy. I wonder if he's just as broken as Harry is over this.
Harry's mom has been suffering from cancer for years, her years of sickness dragging out for even longer than anyone ever assumed they would. She was sick back when I met Harry, back when he and I first started going out together. She was doing worse during Harry's father's wedding, but she was also doing better when Harry got back. I never knew what kind of cancer, or who she even was before she was boyfriend's sick mother. I never just knew her for who she was; I never got to love her the way Harry did.
Corey and I stand to the side, the both of us wanting to stay out of everyone's way. The room is filled with people crying, people who knew her and loved her more than I ever could. I feel panicky in here like the walls are closing in around me and I may run out of breath any moment.
"I'll be right back; I'm just going to the restroom." Corey nods and lets go of my hand, allowing me to run away from this before Harry is able to see me. I walk right in the direction of the bathrooms, ready to be away from all of this. Funerals have always been overwhelming for me, something that has panicked me since my mom's funeral.
I slam the bathroom door behind me, making sure that no one comes in as I want to be alone. Sobs shake through my body, the normal routine that runs through my veins every time I have a panic attack. They happen every time I'm in an awful situation, every time I feel like I just can't carry it.
It feels as if the bathroom is spinning as if my lungs are closing and soon enough I'll be gone. I feel as though I'm going to pass out, as though I'm going to lose my mind. I slide down onto the floor, my knees against my chest as I look at a flower arrangement on the table and focus on it.
