That's Just Life

That's Just Life - Fight or Flight

Everyone needs a beating heart to survive. It's human instinct, to protect our heart in every way possible, because we want to survive. But when our heart is threatened we respond in one of two ways. We fight or we flight. Its instinct we can't control it.
Or can we?

When we don't fight for something that is threatened, it makes us wonder if we really want it. Because if we did, then surely we'd fight for it right?

Flashback:
"I'm sorry, I love you I do. I just think this is the best thing for us, it's too hard to keep doing this"
"Please we can make it work things will get better we just have to try"

I walked down the hallway on the second floor of the apartment building, counting door numbers so I knew which one was his "14, 15" okay so I have exactly three doors to convince myself that this is a bad idea, but my feet just kept moving forward like part of me was saying that I needed to do this, while the other part of me was saying ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND THIS IS INSANE! Of course I'm out of my mind I'm yelling at myself in my head! , WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GONNA SAY TO HIM?!  "19, this is it" I raised my fist to the door about to knock. This is insane what am I going to say to him? Hey it's ex girlfriend from 10 years ago just wanted to say hi even though I haven't spoken to you in like 8 years.

But we were friends for a really long time. I raised my hand again to knock. No I can't do this. I turned around and began to walk away.... when the door opened.
"Isla?"
I turned around shocked "Myles" I said expressionless.
Too shocked to have any expression at all we stood there for a moment in silence staring at each other, taking in each other's facial details like we'd forgotten what we look like, and in that moment it felt like we were back to when we last saw each other, like we were teenagers again.

He ran towards me and put his arms around me like all this time we were apart, life was paused and then the minute we saw each other life un-paused.
He looked at me almost in disbelief and smiled tears coming to our eyes, I smiled as he brushed my hair behind my ear like he was about to kiss me, but then reality struck and we were back to who we were before. He stepped back cleared his throat and said, "Would you like to come in?"
"Uh yeah I'd like that"

We sat in his living room talking for hours and hours on end. Then all of a sudden my phone started to ring  "I'm sorry it's work, do you mind?"
"No, of course go ahead"

"Hello" "yes this is she" "okay"  "well actually I was kind of thinking that for the next season we could bring 'The Way It Is' to England?" "Yes I have the script prepared" "yes I will have the script in your inbox by the end of the day" "thank you" "okay, bye" I gasped in shock to what I just did.
"What did I just do?"  I said with wide eyes and my hand over my mouth.
"I think you just moved your show to England?"
"Oh my god" I said in shock but smiling and laughing at the same time.
"Was this not planned then? You said you had a script prepared?"

"I do but it wasn't actually meant to be used it was just a bit of fun"
"Well now you can use it"
"I guess I'll have to"
"Would you like something else to drink?"
"Uh-yes why not" I said smiling.

The room was small and confined, but had a window looking out onto a park. It had two small leather couches and a small dining table for two. The room was musty but had a female presence to it and then I saw it, on a small desk at the back was a picture frame that had a picture of him and a girl in it.
Then I remembered that Kate said he had a girlfriend. I immediately stood up.
"I'm-I'm sorry I.... have to go now"
"Oh okay well I guess we'll talk later then?" he said showing me to the door.
"Yes I said"

"God Kate, that was so embarrassing what was I thinking I never should have gone there in the first place"
"What's done is done I think u did the right thing because now you know how you feel about him"
"That's not the reason I went, I went so I could resolve things with him, we left things so unfinished when I left it was supposed to be a goodbye not another hello!"
"Well I think this hello might be good for you both"
"No Kate not this again I told you I'm not digging things up with Myles, our relationship is dead and its going to stay dead got it?"
"Yes okay if you say so, so anyway what have you got planned for today?"
"Oh just work nothing exciting"
"Okay well I guess we'll talk later?"
"Definitely"

Isla is on her way to the studio in London where her show will be moved to for the final season.
"Bloody hell where am I going to park?!" The car park was full and all the bays were too everywhere she looked were rows and lines of cars all symmetrically parked cars accept for a few but that's central London for you, lunatics everywhere. She ends up having to park miles away just to carry a ton of paper work into the casting directors office at the studios.  As she reaches the building a pile of papers start to slip from the stack so she slows her pace to make sure it doesn't fall not being able to see very well past the stack of papers she carefully pushes forward to reach for the door just as someone was coming out, they weren't paying attention he was looking down at his phone, not that she knew of course because she couldn't see. He mistakenly bumps into her and sends papers flying.
"Oh Christ I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there"
"Well maybe you should look where you're going," she said standing up to look at the guy. He had crystal blue eyes and murky short blonde hair styled upwards. He was wearing a tight black shirt that complimented his muscles perfectly his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Not that I cared, just because he looks half decent doesn't excuse him from knocking everything flying! He bends down to pick up the papers that were on the floor.  Oh god his butt is even cuter than his face?! Nope I refuse to admit that I think he is cute!
"Here you are, again I'm so very sorry, I'll look at your face next time its way prettier than my phone screen at least I won't bump into you... well I'll try not too anyway"
Omg! That's adorable but still not an excuse! "Uhh thanks?"
"Anytime" he winked and smiled then walked away.
"Huff" Isla sighed and slumped against the door fanning herself. She looked in the direction he was walking and shook her head smiling.

On her long walk back to the car Isla was thinking about if she ever did want a relationship again when she saw a familiar face walking up the other side of the street. Is that Tymira? "Tymira?" she shouted.
"OMG Isla is that you?!" They ran across the street to each other and hugged.
"It's been so long"
"A decade to be exact" still not letting go of each other a cab honked its horn at them for having their reunion in the middle of the road. So Tymira gracefully stuck her middle finger up at the driver.
"Haven't changed much then" Isla said laughing as they made their way to the side of the road.
"Not one bit, come on let's go get some coffee"

"So what have you been up to lately, I heard you have your own TV show?"
"Yah I just dropped the paperwork off at the studios so the finale can be filmed over here"
"That sounds great"
"You wouldn't believe how obnoxious some people are I walked in and some guy completely bashes into me and sends paper flying everywhere! And you wouldn't believe what he did next right?"
"What did he do?" she said stirring her coffee.
"He then apologized, picked my papers up and then calls me pretty?!"
"So what exactly is so obnoxious about this guy?"
"He's pretty, adorable and not mine," I said shamefully.
"Hahahahahaha, Some people hey?" she said laughing at me. Then we both just looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"I think somebody has a little crush"
"Well thank god I don't have to see him again," then we giggled at how ridiculous I was being.

"So how about work for you?" I asked.
"Oh the usual nothing interesting just doing what a psychologist does"
"Any guys in your life?"
"Ummm no, not really" she said looking down at her drink.
"Tymira, there is isn't there?!"
"Well.... Kinda"
"Oooooh spill!"
"There's this guy that I've been seeing for a while but the thing is he's a patient"
"Isn't there a rule against that?"
"Yes, which is exactly why it's not serious and I could get sacked if anyone finds out"
"Don't worry my lips are sealed"
"We really should have stopped a while ago but we just couldn't it's addictive"
"Oh dear"
"Yes, well anyway I really should get back to work"
"Okay well it was so nice seeing you again we'll have to meet up soon"
"Yes, will do"
"And remember when you're at work it's the work you should be doing not the patient"
"Oh shhhhh"
"Bye" I said laughing.

On the way home I made a stop at Worthing Pier just as the sun was setting. I walked along the pier right to the very end where I kept replaying memories in my head of me and my friends and me and Myles when we were together over and over again. Then I heard someone walk up next to me and lean on the railings next to me. It was Myles.
"I come out here most weeks to think, I could just stand here for hours on end I love staring out at the ocean"
"Me too" I said as I looked over to him, the golden glare of the remaining sun painted across his face and the wind brushing through his dark hair. Then he looked over at me looking into my eyes and we just stayed there for a moment then he moved his hand to my cheek and leaned in to kiss me and I let him, thinking about it now I probably shouldn't have.
"I- I- I have to go" I said and turned away. When I got to my car I went to pull the door handle but then saw the open bar across the street and thought, ah screw it. And walked into the bar, sat on the stall and ordered a beer. Then as I was sat there thinking about what had just happened when a tall guy wearing strong cologne comes and sits next to me. It was the guy who bumped into me at the studio earlier.
"Of course it is," I said taking a big gulp from my beer.
"Sorry did you say something?" he said turning to me. "Oh its pretty face"
"What you stalk people as well as knocking people over now?"
"Haha" he laughed at me as he handed the bar tender his card. "So that's it you're not gonna give me a chance?"
"Give me one reason why I should"
"To apologise after bumping into you earlier"
"Okay, fine"
"Aaron Turner" he put out his hand to shake mine.
"I know who you are," I said continuing to drink my beer.
"And here I was thinking you had no idea"
"I know, I know how famous you are and I know how girls fall at your feet everywhere you walk and I know how many girls you go through a week"
"Ouch, and who's the stalker now?"
"Not stalking just an observation"
"An observation is that your drink is now empty, so I'm gonna buy you another one"
"Actually that's a statement"
"Oh come on that was good let me have that one, please"
"I will let you buy me a drink but I will not admit that was good because it was in fact very bad and I think you should quit before you humiliate yourself"
"Deal"

We spoke for hours then he took me home. "So do I get your number?" he said holding me close.
"How about I don't give you my number now and.... If we happen to meet again I have to give it to you then?"
"Hey we've met twice in one day I say we got good odds"
"Goodbye Aaron" I said walking up the path to my house.

Everyone says that they have someone in their life at some point that they know they could not live without and when they meet that person they usually do everything they can to keep them in their life. But life certainly does know how to get in the way of that.
A question frequently asked is how do you know when you've found "the one" some say that it's a feeling inside you, or that both people just "click" and others say that you don't know and you just have to wait and find out if you're love is strong enough to find it's way around life's obstacles.

You wanna know what I think?

Well I think its all bull shit! Your life goal shouldn't be to find "the one" it should be to become successful at something you enjoy doing, and if you don't feel fulfilled enough after that then maybe you are one those sappy people that believe in whatever they think love is?!
If you couldn't tell already I am not one of those people!

The next morning I get a call from London studios asking me to come meet the cast for the finale of my show and give them the script. So I drive down to the studio early to avoid the issue with parking this time. Walk into the casting directors office  "Hi, I'm Natalie" and then she introduces me to the cast I go around shaking the hand of each actor and actress then I hand each of them a script when the door opens and someone bursts in and says "I'm sorry I was late there wasn't a parking spaces left"
"That's okay Aaron come in and sit down," Natalie says. Then he locks eyes with and smiles I pretend I don't know him and hand him a script. After the meeting I was just about to leave when Aaron stops me "Hand it over"
I sigh and dig in my bag for my phone and hand it to him.
"Told you we had good odds" he hands my phone back to me then I smile sarcastically then leave.
"See ya later pretty face"