That's Just Life

That's Just Life- Sorry

I don't know why we feel what we feel and why everyone feels differently. It's like everyone's feelings are there own little chamber of secrets, but I know that when I look out to a sunrise or sunset all the things that are wrong in my life just don't matter.
There are not enough words in the English language to describe how I feel when I close my eyes and feel the warmth, of the infinite stream of orange and yellow colours on my face. It gives me a sense of safety like the only thing that matters is where I am now.
Then I feel the carousel inside me start to spin, It's a familiar feeling and momentarily I feel like I am meant to be here, right now, like I was meant to see this and as long as I'm standing here nothing can go wrong. I didn't notice at the time but tears started to roll down my cheeks and I couldn't tell if they were happy or sad. I feel like I don't need anyone to make me happy because happiness is where I am.
When I close my eyes and feel the warmth of the lasting sunlight gently caressing my face I feel released from all the darkness that's been keeping me down, I feel confident and in control.
When the last of the day's sun vanishes I feel abruptly grounded back on earth and reality starts to creep in and the only thing left remaining are the tearstains left on my cheeks.
"You need to go talk to him", Myles said putting his arm on Isla's shoulder.
"I can't he won't understand", Isla said looking down at the ocean gently chopping against the wooden beams of the pier.
"If he really loves you he will try his best to".
"How? this isn't exactly something you can just forgive and forget, you really think that if I explain what happened with Daniel he would understand?"
"I don't know but it's the right thing to do", he said looking her in the eyes sympathetically.
"Okay I'll talk to him tomorrow after work, we're shooting the finale and I don't want him to be on edge the whole time"
"Wow that's pretty big! congratulations", he smiled.
"Thanks, anyways I better get going I have an early morning start", she said standing up right from leaning on the railings. They hugged each other goodbye and Myles said, "Everything will be okay".
Beep, beep, beep, beep, the morning sun was shining through the curtains and Isla's alarm was blaring.
"No! Five more minutes go back to sleep", she mumbled lying on her front with her face smooshed into the pillow.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, "Okay fine I'm up!" She pushed the alarm clock off the table and proceeded to continue with her morning routine with a few minor disruptions like she had to drive herself to work and get her own coffee this morning, as she was not on speaking terms with Aaron right now.
Her workday was standard and everyone was sad but also excited that it was the last episode of the show and there were a few tears shed. There was cake and drinks after the shooting of the episode to say thank you to everyone and it was supposed to be a really exciting thing for Isla because she had always been a working girl her dream had finally come true she was going to be famous, everything she had ever worked for since she was in High school had brought her to this, but she kept thinking about him and what he was feeling. She looked around and he was about to head out the door, "Hey wait, I was hoping we could talk", Isla said stopping him.
The producer shouted out from behind, "Congratulations everyone I can't wait to see you all at the premier". There was a second glance of awkwardness as they were supposed to be attending the premier as a couple.
Aaron looked at her and said, "I'm sorry but I don't mix work and relationships", mimicking what she had once said and continued to walk out the door.
So she took out her phone and texted, "So how about that talk since you are no longer at work : )" following behind him.
He read the message and turned around angrily, "You lied to me Isla! For weeks you knew who my family was, you knew Lillian was my sister! You weren't actually interested in me were you? You were just trying to get back at your high school rival!"
"No, of course I was I had no idea that Lillian was your sister when we met and when I found out she pretended not to know me, I was just too shocked that I went with it. I wanted to tell you I did I was just too scared to lose you because I care about you a lot, I Don't want to lose you!"
Aaron looked to the floor disappointed by her words, "you should have thought about that before", he turned to walk away.
"Wait! Meeting you happened by chance, being friends with you was a choice but falling in love with you-" Isla looked to the floor and Aaron turned back to look at her startled by her words. "Falling in love with you was beyond my control".
Aaron stood there intrigued.
"You were right about me from the beginning I was broken I was hurt by someone who had an immense grip on my heart and used it for his power, for years I couldn't leave and it destroyed me, it took me what felt like a life time to forget all the pain he put me through and when I finally got back on my feet again I made a promise to myself that I would not let another guy back in-, until I met you. I pretended you were wrong because I hate that I was trapped by my own feelings to a guy that used me and abused me, so yah that's me no more lies"
"No more lies?" He said walking up to her.
"No more lies", she gulped knowing that there was still one thing he didn't know about her, one huge thing that she had no idea how to tell him.
"And if I ever meet this guy I'm going to punch his lights out", he moving in o kiss her.
Aaron and Isla went to the bar to talk things out and work on their relationship. They had just arrived and started talking when Isla got a phone call from Kate. She picked up the phone and declined the call because fixing things with Aaron was more important. Then the phone rang again.
"I'm really sorry but I have to take this", she said picking up the phone.
"Hello"
"Hi, Isla it's me Kate you know how me and James have that wedding tomorrow up in Manchester?"
"Oh yes, hope you guys have fun"
"Well I'm really sorry but the baby sitter canceled last minute, do you mind watching Adam for the weekend?"
"I'm sorry Kate but I'm out right now with Aaron"
"I know, I know and I'm so sorry to ask because I know things haven't been great with you and Aaron lately but you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important..."
Isla paused, she really didn't want to leave Aaron because she knew he wouldn't be happy if she did, but Kate really needed her.
"Okay, I'll be there in a bit", she sighed.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Isla hung up the phone as Aaron rolled his eyes frustrated slumping back in his chair like a moody teenager.
"I'm really sorry Aaron, I really don't want to but I have to go Kate needs me to watch the baby"
"Of course you do, there's always a million other things that's more important", he said standing up and getting his coat angrily.
"Oh come on, you know that's not true", she said putting her hand on his arm sincerely.
"Whatever", he brushed her off and left.
At Kate's later on, Isla was comforting the baby as he was crying because he missed his parents.
"Shh, shh, shh, I know, I know, I wish they didn't have to go either", she stood rocking baby Adam from side to side gently rubbing his back over the crib.
"Because if they were still here you wouldn't be crying and I wouldn't still have relationship problems-", she looked in Adams teary blue eyes as he continued to cry with the pacifier still in his mouth.
"Okay, I know that's a bit of a stretch but I'm getting there", as she spoke to him he stopped crying and started to giggle, Isla wiped the tears from his eyes with his rag that was half wrapped around his small body, half dangling from her arms.
"See that's better, you're just like you're mother finding humor in my messed up love life", she smiled.
"Yes you are", she repeated to the child tapping him on the nose to make him giggle.
Then the doorbell rang, "I wonder who that could be", she said talking to Adam carrying him into the other room to get the door.
"Oh, Myles hi", she said opening the door.
"Hi, is James here?" He stood in his greasy blue work overalls holding paperwork in his hands.
"Uh no actually him and Kate left for the wedding I'm stuck here babysitting for the weekend", she said rocking the baby.
"Oh okay", he said still standing there looking at Isla holding the baby.
"So, would you like me to take a message?"
He looked up almost startled as if he woke up from a daydream, "Oh uh no that's alright I'll just call him later, I was just on my way home from work and I wondered if he was in to drop off some paperwork", he stood there for a moment, "so how did things go with Aaron?"
"Ugh not good, I mean it was going well but then I had to leave because Kate needed me to help out for the weekend"
"Oh, I'm guessing he didn't take that very well"
"No, he did not in fact he stormed out of the bar in a tantrum". Then there was a pinging noise that came from the kitchen.
"That would be Adam's milk I have to get that, please come in", she said retrieving the bottled milk from the kitchen and sitting down on the couch next to Myles.
"I just feel like ever since Christmas I can't do anything right, it's like I'm constantly fighting for us", she said testing the milk on her wrist then feeding the baby.
"Well you did break his trust it's going to take a while to fix that", He said looking at the way she knew exactly what to do with the baby.
"I know but it feels like I'm putting more work in than he is"
"Do you love him?" Myles asked.
"Yes"
"Enough to keep putting effort in regardless of what he's feeling right now?"
Isla looked down at the baby desperately drinking from the bottle like he was afraid that she was going to take it away from him and she smiled.
"When did you get so good at relationship advice?" She giggled.
"When did you get so good with kids?" He smiled.
They carried on talking throughout the night, laughing and smiling at each other's jokes just like old friends. It seemed like forever they had spoken like this. For the first time in a while she had felt like she was no longer alone that she will always have someone to help her with her problems and support her unconditionally, not that Kate didn't she just has a family so she doesn't have much time on her hands. They were both happy that they had reached a good place with each other.
It was late into the night when Isla got a call from an unknown number.
"It's quite late who could be calling at this time?" She said.
"It's probably Kate calling from the hotel saying that they've arrived", Myles said handing her, her mobile that was buzzing on the coffee table.
"Hello", she answered the phone.
"Hi, is this Isla Gibson?"
"It is"
"You are an I.C.E contact on Mr.-", he paused searching for the name on the ID. "Mr. Aaron Turner's mobile phone, Aaron has been in an accident and is currently in hospital. Are you still in contact or do you wish for me to call someone else?"
"Oh my god, no I'll be there as soon as possible which hospital is he at?"
"Worthing Hospital"
"Okay thank you I'll be there soon", she hung up the phone.
"What happened?" Myles asked.
"Aaron was in an accident he's in hospital", she looked pale and was too shocked to move.
"Uh okay I'll drive you and take care of Adam", he said rushing around trying to find his keys and jacket.
"Okay thank you", she said still standing there staring into space.
Myles put his hand on her cheek and said, "Look at me, everything will be fine we just have to get to the hospital okay"
"Okay", she picked up Adam from his crib and brought him to the car while Myles carried the car seat.
When they got to the hospital Myles pulled up outside the entrance and said, "I'll take Adam back to Kate's and put him back to bed and I'll call you later to make sure everything's okay".
"Thank you", Isla proceeded to stay in the passenger seat. "What if he's not okay, I can't go in", she said.
"You have to everything will be fine, I would stay with you but I don't think Aaron would want me their comforting his girlfriend. It probably wouldn't help you guys situation"
"I know but thank you"
She continued to stay in the passenger seat, "What if this is my fault what if he is in there because of me, if I had stayed with him he wouldn't have been in the accident and he would be okay and our relationship would be okay", she started to cry.
"No Isla that's not the right mindset to be in right now okay. Life happens people get hurt none of this is your fault, you don't know what happened it could have just been a harmless accident he could be fine but the longer you're sat here talking to me the longer you are not in there being there for him when he needs you", he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and wiped away her tears.
"Okay, thank you", she said getting out of the car.
She took a deep breath in and proceeded to walk through the automatic doors to the hospital.
She walked up to the front desk and said, "I'm looking for Aaron turner?"
The nurse sat behind the desk wearing a blue pinafore dress with a nametag that read Mandy Blackman, "He's in ward 5, room 218 dear"
"Th- thank you", she muttered.
In the elevator there was a young couple a mother and father of a newborn baby, the mother was sat in the wheelchair holding the baby and the father was standing behind the wheelchair. They both looked so happy and Isla imagined that being her someday. She never used to see herself as a family person until she met Aaron, maybe this is what love is, and maybe this is my happy ending she thought to herself.
She counted the door numbers as she went down the hallway of the second floor, "214, 215, okay so I have exactly two doors to prepare myself for the worst", she thought to herself.
She turned the corner and there he was sitting up in the bed with his leg in a cast and his face scratched up.
"You came", his croaky voice spoke.
"Of course I did nothing is more important to me than you", she said kissing him on the forehead.
He smiled.