A Mind You Must Never Know

Outlaws

When I die....mix my ashes with ink and write of how I loved her. I loved her because I could be me in every way others never see. Her courage was her crown and she wore it like a queen. I didn't come this far too only come this far. 

I've been running all my life to search for something I've never had before. You blush like an ocean in love, wild with blueness. She wanted something else, something different and something more. 

Passion and romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations in candlelit rooms, or perhaps something as simple as not being second. May the sun bring you new energy day by day, as the moon softly restores you by night. 

May the rain wash away your worries, as the breeze blows new strength into your being. May you walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life. In the middle of my chaos....there was you. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

 I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way that this: where I do not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

 I'll make up for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you. Wait for someone who loves you differently. One who can see the fire in your soul, the child in your laugh and the ocean in your heart. The teardrops run down, and fall off her nose. She cries in dark corners where nobody goes. 

You can follow the tracks from her eyes to her chin, years upon years, of letting them win. Her eyes tell a story of anger and pain. You think that she's happy, but just look again. The scars of her past, hidden under her clothes and a road map to places that nobody knows.

 Her smile is now painted, she's a master of disguise and you can see it all, just look in her eyes. I promise, if you keep searching for everything beautiful in this world you will eventually become it. Come to me....run with me to the ends of the earth and we'll fall away together. 

You can be my outlaw and I'll be the words you can't bring yourself to say. You're a thunderstorm wrapped in beautiful flesh, looking to be felt and understood in a world that loves sunny days. 

And one day, I will find you forever and give you a love you never had.