A Mind You Must Never Know

Run

I need to run...2,3 steps far from here. 

No looking back.

I wanna go someplace where no one knows my name. 

I wanna disappear off the face of the earth.

No note.

No warning.

Just getting my shit and....leaving.

Some steps need to be taken alone.

It's the only way to figure out where I need to go and what I need to be.

Windows down, burning highway, chase nothing.

No destination. 

I just want to breathe and be able to feel it.

My heart swings back and forth between the need for routine and the urge to run.

It's beneath my skin, humming in my veins, vibrating my bones, always within grasp.

To carve a new path, start a new adventure, a new life. 

A start I never had.

A chance to live the life I desperately needed. 

Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe I'm just way out of my head, but I just wanna escape. 

The only thing that runs through my head...run.

Just run. 

Leave your cares and everything behind you. 

"Hey, don't worry. It'll be okay. You need this. It'll set you free, set your mind right."

Another part of me says, "No. No. You can't. It won't get you anywhere. You must stay strong. Don't run from your problems, embrace them." 

But the thing is.....I don't think I can.

I don't think I can just sit and wait...hoping that something good will come out of it.

I'm restless.

Can't sleep...I'm aching to see more...more than what the earth has to offer.

Something is clawing at my name, waiting for me to run towards it. 

I feel like my whole life has been a lie....an outer shell waiting to be peeled off, shed. 

My body aches...I feel myself distanced from the world...slowly drifting to pieces in an atmosphere of dust.

I feel lost...a piece to a puzzle that's never been found.

I almost don't want to try anymore. 

What I've had wasn't meant for me.

I look around and see people my age, totally unaware of everything.

Paralyzed.

Like sitting ducks.....expecting something to happen. 

Looking for someone to follow.

I want to live to find what I was meant for.

I want to see galaxies upon galaxies.

Mountains.

Water.

Fresh air, with the ability to touch any animal without the fear of resentment. 

I want to be invincible in my own way.

I want to touch a deer's nose....feeling the warmth beneath its eyes. 

I want the love from a sweet wolf...not what they're perceive to be.

No....you won't understand. 

No one will.

So, stay behind and let me find my calling.....maybe someone who could possibly understand what I'm trying to say.....will come with me.