Espresso Love (A Dystopian Japan Novel) #Wattys2014

Turnaround

- Turnaround -

When I realized what I had forgotten, I rushed down the hill, sprinting for the cabin. I had no idea where the shack was nor had I left any marks. But following the strange new form of intuition, like a jammed window suddenly flinging open, fresh spring air rushes in. I knew, and the answers started to form from dust, they unraveled, coming forth into the light. All of a sudden, I felt lightweight, full of enigmatic energy that coursed through my veins, as if my soul could soar and shake itself free of my earthly flesh. I was practically flying over land, and in between great oaks as they seemed to grow astonished at this abrupt change in a man. They stretched and swayed in the wind. I had heard something in the wind, it pushed against me, and I traced it down and soon enough, I arrive at the hut, legs burning, lungs heaving. I pull open the door, almost off its hinges.

Shizuka Kaneko, who had sat across from me, the particular lover of chai tea latte, a non-coffee beverage, a peculiarity at an esteemed illustrious coffee shop. I can see her fingers around her cup.

"I said once, your order reveals the depths of your being. Like wearing your heart on your sleeve," she says. She leans forward.

"I know. You've always said that since the beginning. I believe you. It's the one thing that has never changed all this time. The one constant between us. It has always been there."

"No matter how many years, it won't change."

"I'm glad," I say.

"I'm glad you can hear me."

"I hear you. And I feel what you feel."

"You feel what I feel?"

"I feel it and I am thinking what you're thinking."

She sighs. "I've been waiting for you."

"Nothing can come between us anymore."

She smiles a small smile, a shy one. "It's been a long time."

I smile back. "Yes, it has been."

"I wanted you to remember."

"I remember it all."

"All of it?"

"All of you."

She blushes like a high school girl. "I would've been lost if it weren't for you back then."

"Likewise. Up til now."

She is quiet.

Then she says: "why did you have to die back then?"

Some silence. And some birds in the background. The trees rustle. "I don't know. It was necessary. Or you would've been next. We were both on the list. I couldn't let them do it."

"It's my fault."

"Hey, it's not your fault. It was for the better."

"There had to be another way."

"No, there wasn't."

"It's a harsh world."

"It is, it isn't easy to escape. But, like in your note, the change comes from within."

She nods. "Yes, that's right."

There's another pause. She suddenly says, "hey, do you still listen to Nirvana?"

I shake my head. "No, not since then."

"Why not?"

"It's an artifact, a piece of the past. The part of me that had died."

"But the past is important."

"Yes, it's important. It's important to remember and to think about, but it's the foundation upon which you build, one layer after another. I look back at it fondly, but no longer do we dwell in it."

"Feels like the old times. You always have wise things to say."

"Remember the song 'Turnaround'?"

"Mhm."

"Take a look outside yourself and you turn around, take a look at who you are, it's pretty scary. Take a look outside the planet, turn around and around, take a look at where you are, it's pretty scary."

She tilts her head. "You listened to that a little too much."

I reach for her hand. "I've made my decision."

"What is it?"

"Just a little more to go."

"Till what?"

"It'll all come to a satisfactory close."

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Author Note: On hindsight, I'm wondering if you as a reader understand what is going in this chapter and the ambiguous concept that was implied here? If you don't understand anything please let me know and send me a PM to ask questions! My interpretation of what happened is unveiled in the Espresso Love: Fragments bonus content collection. But please read the whole novel before heading there!