The Water Woman

The Manipulator

Sorry. I fell asleep while writing. Anyways.

My mom said, "But I keep hurting you."

"You're still grieving, Mom. I'll be here when you need me and I'll help you move on when you're ready. Just remember, it's been three years. You need to move on."

"Birch. Birch, I need you to tell me something truthfully."

"Okay."

"Do you have anyone that you love?"

The question caught me off guard. "I don't really know."

"Once you fall in love, you become addicted to it. I want to love again. To be loved again but I'm scared that if I love again, your father will have moved on too. I still love him but in a way that tears at me. It makes me angry and allows me to do things I would never do."

"Ma, I think you should get a little stronger and less vulnerable before going to look for love."

"You approve?!"

"I'm not really sure. I don't exactly know what you mean about that kind of love but I understand what you mean by the kind of love that tears at you."

"I'm surprised."

"About what?"

"Mostly by the fact that you don't have a crush on anyone and no one has a crush on you," she joked. "I'm so lucky to have you. You took care of Cooper and yourself and the house and still found time for me."

"Of course. You're my mom. I'll love you no matter what."

***

Crap. I keep running into the person who gave me her number at the beginning of the school year. I've been trying to avoid her. Crap here she is again.

***

She pushed me to the wall and stepped close to me. I sucked in as she tried to press herself against me.

"Hey. Why didn't you call me?" she asked.

"I don't know you," I replied with a hint of disgust.

"I want to get to know you." She giggled. "I'm Kailey."

"Birch."

"That's an odd name... but I like it." She pressed herself closer. "I want to date you."

I stayed silent. My face was getting hot. She put her lips to mine. I wanted to back up more but I was already against the wall. She pulled off and bit her lip letting it slowly slide out from her teeth.

"Do you wanna go some place that's a little more... quiet?"

She pulled me away to a janitor's closet. She pressed herself against me again. I gently pushed her away.

"What, am I not hot enough?"

"I just don't know you."

"We'll get to know each other. That's what dating is for."

"I, um, think this moving too fast."

"Okay." She put her hands on my shoulders. "How do you want me to slow down?"

She moved her head closer and gently put her lips against mine. I opened my mouth to protest and she slowly slipped her tongue into my mouth. I don't know what happened but I put my hands on her waist and started getting into the kiss. We kissed slowly and she gradually closed the gap between our bodies. Again, her body pressed against mine. I didn't pull away. Instead I pulled her closer to me. The kiss started to speed up. She rubbed her hands on my head and back. I had this strange, sudden feeling of nausea and pulled away as if suddenly regaining awareness.

"No."

"What?"

"This isn't how to slow down."

"Then how?"

I left the janitor's closet. She followed after.

"Look. I'm sorry. I thought guys liked this kind of stuff," she said.

"Only the scumbags."

"Please. We'll start at square one."

I stopped. "Why me?"

"You seemed like a really nice guy and I wanted to-"

"Put me through more bullshit?"

"No. I wanted you to like me."

I kept walking.

"I'm sorry! Can we please get to know each other?"

"I need to think." I heard crying behind me. I kept walking. She would continuously try to seduce me if I went back.

I splashed my face with cold water in the bathroom. I was disgusted by her actions on the first day of school but now I'm nauseous. She took advantage of me and I know it'll come back to haunt me. I'm not very good with girls but I know I don't ever want to be close to her. None of it was real. I could see through her façade. She just wanted the sensation. The fact that she only wanted me for that made me want to cry and punch her at the same time. I wouldn't and couldn't do either of those things.

***

It rained today. This time, Sage was surveying outside instead of the class. She was distant and it seemed as if she was trying not to get her hopes up. She watched the clouds roll in and the landscape outside turn dark with a fascination that almost seemed like obsession. When the time came for class to end, she practically ran outside. I went with her. Right as she went outside and came to a stop, she lifted her arms and the rain came. It was slow at first but she looked up at it pleading for it to grow stronger and so it did as if obeying her command. Lightening struck but she didn't flinch. No. She welcomed it. It was cold but no goosebumps appeared on her delicate skin. A smile spread across her face as raindrops landed on her, caressing her as they fell. She let her arms fall to her side. She stood in the middle of it. In some weird way, she was communicating with the rain. She said something with her expression and eyes and lightning and thunder responded. She would bow her head whenever she accidentally interrupted the lightning and the thunder and the lightning and thunder would also apologize in its own way after interrupting her. I came up and put my hand on her shoulder. She jumped and I pulled my hand off feeling as if I had somehow violated her.

When she realized it was me, she asked, "Isn't this great?"

"The rain?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"I come from New York. There isn't anything special about rain."

"I come from England. There is everything special about rain."

"I'm confused. Isn't it more of an annoyance?"

"No. Look." She pointed at the mountains.

"What?"

"It's brown right?"

"Yeah."

"Tomorrow, it'll all be green. Rain gives life. It's special here because you notice it."

"It's kind of like you," I said before I could stop myself.

"What?"

"Um," my face was getting hot. Shit. "Well, you are, um... special but few people can notice it like you notice how rain is special." Smooth?

"But you've noticed," she said smiling. My heart was beating at an incredible speed. That speed almost doubled when she added, "And that's all that matters." (Author's note: So cute I could -throws up-. Let me go write dark poetry real quick. I'll be right back.)