What I Want

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"What do I want?"

This question was one I didn't normally have time to ponder. I thought about it. Really thought about it and said, "I want Cooper to grow big and strong and for his biggest problem to be homework. I want him to go to college."

"No. What do you want for yourself?"

"I want... I want to have the brightest light in my life."

"And that is?"

"I don't know yet," I lied. I want her, but I'm not really sure what that means yet.

"I need to get home. Do you need a ride?"

"Please. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Why are you home so late?" Mom asked. "Who was that who dropped you off?"

"A friend."

"Birch, you've got bruises. What happened?"

"Nothing, just got a little beat up at practice."

"They look bad."

"Yeah. They're getting better."

I didn't want to discourage my mom. She seemed like she was drunk because she was still trying to get off the stuff despite her little slip up.

"I got a better job today."

"Really? Mom, that's great!"

"Cooper had a bug up his nose this morning. A strange shiny beetle. Have you ever seen a bug like that?"

I hadn't but I'd heard of it. The other day she said my bruises were those beetles and that they were moving.

"No. That's odd. You should get to bed. You ought to wake up bright and early for your new job."

That did it. She nodded weirdly and stumbled into her room.

I went to bed after. I'm tired.

I had a dream last night that I had to sit back and watch Sage die. It was horrifying. I woke up screaming. I got dressed quickly and ran to school. I was curious as to why it was so empty. Then I realized that it was Sunday. I hurried to the pool she wasn't there. I dashed home and paced my room and sent out a text.

Birch-I had a weird dream last night that was really vivid. I just want to make sure you're okay.

Sage-I'm good.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Sage-What was your dream about?

Shit.

Birch-It's kind of a long story.

Sage-I've got time.

Shit.

Birch-I've got practice.

Sage-Bull. I have friends that are trainers and I know for a fact that you practice on Saturdays. Haha😈

Birch-...it's for boxing...

Sage-Are you avoiding telling me something again? Did you not learn from the first time?

Sage-Boi!

Birch-I'm not sure I like this hostage situation.

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