Connection

Chapter 11

/LEA/

From the balcony of my room, I can see the faint blinks of red, yellow, and green inside their small bulbs on my neighbor’s house. Tis the time of the year again where plastic trees stand in the corner of the living room, fully decorated with colorful ornaments; where gift-shopping, gift-wrapping, gift-giving are the trends. That’s what my neighbors are probably doing right now. I don’t even know their names or how many their kids are but I just know that’s what’s happening on the other side.

Of course, everyone has to be happy. Everyone but some.

I hear multiple footsteps approaching the vicinity of my house. Judging from the voices which I miraculously hear from where I am, they’re kids. And if I’m going to add the clatter of some copper with them, I think they’re here to carol. The footsteps stop at the gate and I wait for them to start.

“Wala naman yatang tao rito.” I hear one of them says.

“Oo nga, ang dilim ng bahay eh. Doon na lang tayo sa kabila.”

I roll my eyes when they start walking away. It’s their loss, especially because I’m feeling pretty generous today. I didn’t spend that much since I did not get anything for the occasion. No Christmas tree, no Christmas lights, no gifts, nothing but my Sauvignon. It’s why the house looks so dark at four-thirty in the afternoon. I didn’t even bother to turn on the lights in my room.

Nanay Cristy went home to celebrate with her family, and I refused her invitation for me to come with her. I assured her I’m gonna be fine alone here so she wouldn’t have to hesitate leaving me. I didn’t want us to be both miserable on this day. She should be with her family and I will just probably sleep all throughout the night.

I find myself staring at our little papaya tree trying to remember when was the last time I didn’t feel this pathetic. The last time I properly celebrated Christmas. That last time this house didn’t feel like the house of Grinch.

It was because of that stupid poodle from the gift shop I am spending the Christmas Eve in my bed, sneezing the hell out of my nose. Don’t get me wrong, I love all kinds of animals. Dogs are cute, but it’s hard to love them when you are allergic to their hair. They tend to have a lot of that and I got some while I was walking earlier at the store. The next thing I knew, my nose was red and my eyes were leaking involuntary tears.

I should be helping in the kitchen right now, making Matthew’s favorite mac and cheese and graham cake for desserts.

“Mommy! Mommy!” just when I thought I was already lying on my deathbed, here came my energizer bursting to my door.

“Matty, Mommy is not feeling well.” Aga said, following him shortly. Matthew jumped on my bed and crawled closer to me. “Hey, I’m sorry about this...”

“No, no, it’s good.” I tried getting up and as much as I wanted to cradle my baby, I didn’t want him to get a cold from me. “I’m sorry, love, you can’t come closer to Mommy. Ayaw kita mahawaan, okay? But what does my baby want?”

“Let’s put our photo together on top of the Christmas tree! Come on, Mommy!”

“Matthew, I told you we could do it together. We didn’t have to bother Mommy.”

“But we do it every Christmas, Daddy. We can’t leave Mommy out.”

“But she’s sick—”

“No, babes, I think I can manage to get up and do our family’s little tradition.” I said. Instead of a star, it has been our yearly tradition to get a brand new set of photographs of the three of us and hang one family photo on top of the Christmas tree. I supposed my son liked it very much; he didn't want to miss a year.