Connection

Chapter 19

“How long have you two been doing this?”

Hael is convinced that the universe is not yet done punishing and traumatizing her. Because if it already made peace with her, she wouldn’t be sitting there listening to her grandmother interrogating her parents about the scene she and Eunice just walked into. Oh, God, that. The first time she attempted to kill herself was days after the assault happened, the second time might just be after witnessing what she witnessed in her mother’s kitchen.

“Uhm, for a few months now, Ma,” Aga answered, glancing at his daughter to see her reaction— which she didn’t have much of. Hael was dead-staring at the marble floor, thinking how she hated the couch she’s sitting on. She doesn’t remember caring much about their furniture before but she couldn’t seem to stand them now. Suddenly everything bothers and irritates her— the house, her very existence in it.

Everything about this night is just against her will.

“I told you, we  should have gone straight home,” she whispered to her cousin, who didn’t look as fine either.

“So, you two are now back together? Like before, right? And not just co-parenting— if we can even call that co-parenting.”

“Mom, Eunice and Hael saw them kissing each other, you are asking a question that’s already been answered.” Lea had to close her eyes when her sister made everyone remember what Eunice and Hael saw earlier. The mortification she’s feeling is making her wish for Satan to just take her at that very moment. “I’m just not sure if I should be thanked or blamed for it though.”

Margarita turned to her eldest, “You knew about them?”

Letizia pursed her lips. By the tone of her mother’s voice, she’s definitely blaming her for it, “Well, when I first visited here, things were already good between them. They just needed a few words here and there but they were onto it already. It also just happened that your youngest daughter’s heart wasn’t as steely as it appeared to be.”

“Is it a wrong move?” Lea hated how that one question sounded like she’s suddenly unsure about her current relationship with Aga, as if she’s asking for an affirmation. Worse, should Margarita say yes, she might just be willing to go back to being estranged with her husband.

Or maybe she’s not directing her questioning to her mother at all.

This is the first time she and Aga get to face their daughter together since the reconciliation. Not only they’re sitting so close to each other (which never happened before), they’re also not just there as Hael’s parents, they’re a couple (which last happened some eighteen years ago). Seeing nothing that resembles a reaction from Hael made her feel like this is all wrong for her.

“Why are you asking me? You’re a grown woman and you’re the one in that relationship,” Margarita answered. From her peripheral vision, Lea could see Aga with a look that asked her if she actually thinks that getting back together is a wrong move. She could not bring herself to look at him. “In any case, I’m not the person you should be worried about. I’m not the one who will be left here under your care.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to the two young ladies quietly sitting on the side. Eunice was the first one to notice as she was intently listening to them, “Oh, I’m all good with it. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Honey, we’re not really worried about you,” Letizia told her daughter.

At which point Hael looked up to them. She despises the gaze she’s getting from the four of them as if they’re just expecting her to smile and say she’s okay with all of this. The best she could really do at that moment was not to slit her wrists again.