hurt | jikook

heartbreak

Did I told you that you broke me heart twice?

I didn't told you that there has been a commotion in the house then followed by the first shitty event?

I didn't told you that I cut myself when you were mad at me?

Did I told you that my wrist is even darker than before?

I didn't told you that you and your friends became a part of my skin.

I didn't told you I was crying the whole night until the next day.

Did I told you that I feel safe when I am talking to you?

That I feel I have some getaway from myself and my problems?

Did I told you that you made me feel happy?

Did I told you that you know more than my friends or anyone know abput what is going with my right now?

Did I told you how much you were important to me?

Because I have no one to say what the fuck I feel.

Did I told you that I fucking think about you everyday?

Did I told you that I fucking ignored my friends' warning just for you?

Did I told you how much I am sad since last week?

Did I told you that I was sleep deprived, I started to feel insomiac and how I loss the will to even get up from bed?

Did I told you that I am only 50/50 waiting for just for tomorrow to arrive.

Waiting for another day to arrive.

Just breathing and waiting for the next day?

Just waiting for the day that I'll finally have the time to take my life?

To finally end this shit?

I guess I didn't.

You now made me believe that I really don't deserve nice things.

You now made me believe that I can't be happy even in one day.

I told you I don't accept sorry.

I hate you for confessing first and ending it also. You have the goddamn motherfucking guts to do that.

I am not mad. I am enraged.

I fucking despise myself.

I can't be mad to anyone.

The only person I can get mad to is myself.

You do you. I do me.

And if you are lucky. You'll still have contact to me.

And if not. It's because I stopped having motivation and will to live.

That I finally had the time to do what I gotta do since last year.

That I finally killed myself.