You and Me ? | M.Y.G (Wattys2018)

Chapter 30-But I still want you

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness
A flower that resembles you

I was never an extroverted person even when I was in junior school, before my father's sad demise, neither in my high school when I was in my teens. I had a few friends but at the end they all left me. They gave up on me because I didn't fit in them, maybe because I never had tried.

I had bad eyesight since my childhood so I wore spectacles that made me look like a nerd and that was definitely not acceptable for my so called friends. That effected their reputation that they wanted to keep flawless and pretend as they were some cool ass kids.

To me, they were more like new-moneys. Those kids you see in The Heirs - who pretend as they own empires even before they were born. But no, that was not their reality. They weren't not born cool. They just wanted to act as they were one. So I too, gave up on them and refashioned my path.

I chose architecture as my major. To think of this, It was never my first choice neither I was crazy to become an architect. One of the few things in my wish list was to make music. As a kid, when I didn't even know the professions of a composer and producer, I wanted to be one of them.

Then my father died and I being the only kid, thought that I had to choose a better thing, a better path.

Did I compare my wish to something that would just consists of my good grades and a good prefix to get attached with my name?
Yes I did.

Now I think of it sometimes that why even I compared these two things. Being a foolish, as I downgraded my wish to consider it as an option.

My choices brought me to an architecture school. There I met them, a bunch of girls and guys. They were good enough to give me solace and space when I wanted. The thing I learned in this passage of time that I was no longer some low-key demanding teen. I didn't want a baggage of attention and whatever I was getting it was enough for me to survive and live kinda normal and usual life routines.

Needless to say, that I was never a fan of unusualities.

Then he intruded in my thoughts and changed everything in an apocalyptic way. Wishes began to sprout in my heart and his existence caused them to bloom into some beautiful looking flowers.

He was around me since a while but don't know when he touched the right cords and tugged on my heartstrings in a quite right place.

And it was definitely not a love at first sight. Which was more assuring and positive to me.

I wanted to give it to you
After I take off this foolish mask

He was not-so-friendly with me. We never interacted much. We just had mutual friends. It was may be because I didn't have the guts to express my feelings. And I never would.

Because, one; I was apparently a nerd and he was smarty ass guy with lots of swag hugging his planet size ego.
Two; I would never go for the first to confess. I simply didn't have the balls to do so.
Third and most important point that caused me to give up; He was–taken.

And I actually gave up.

But I know
I can never do that
I must hide
Because I am ugly

I couldn't comprehend his intensions when he almost trapped me in when were at his place to work. I couldn't resist to not to expect anything whenever he did a single gesture of care for me. Those times when he asked me to be with him forever, when we witnessed sun rising from the sea and when–