You and Me ? | M.Y.G (Wattys2018)

Chapter 32- Out of My Head

    ♫♪ You can't do this to me

All of the things you said are like a mask
It hides the truth and rips me apart
It pierces me, I'm going crazy, I hate this

Take it all away, I hate you ♫♪  

- I NEED U

Being in love is never easy. Neither it's as difficult as we think it is. It is sweetest than all the sweetness combined and harsh to our hearts at the same time. Falling in love, sometimes turns out falling –literally. You fall, get hurt and bleed. You bleed your ego. You bleed yourself.

Can't we just fall in love without actually falling and hurting ourselves?

I think, a little tiny, yes!
But we learn late. Especially when it's our first.

Not all but some of us eventually learn after lots of bleeding that we can keep falling in love with the same person everyday with hurting a little less and even lesser.

Love's not always pain, you know!
It's gaining yourself too.

And I'm planning to do so. To gain myself back. To gain myself that I was never before. To gain a better version of myself.

My morning was the same as I always see when I get up daily. Same curtains poorly obstructing sunlight to barge in my room. Same pair of specs placed on the nightstand. And my same morning hairdo. As they say that Architects love to wear blacks, whites or mix of both, I too was turning into a monochromatic picture. I hopped off my bed and glanced my pajamas with reprimanding eyes. Even they were white. I did my morning routine and came back just to stare at my wardrobe consisting more blacks and whites and greys than other colors. Thank God I still had some colored hoodies and tops that meant I still had hope.

Rummaging through my clothes, I decided to take my next step. The second to my first one that I took yesterday's evening. I had bleed a lot so now it was the time to gain myself back.

I changed into a turquoise tank top with a dark blue hoodie with blue regular denim. My hair was longer than I had two years back, almost reaching my elbows. I left it open to sway freely in the air. It too had the right to breath, instead always being in a ponytail or tied in a bun. I left my room after tiding it up, taking a good time instead of leaving hastily like I always do in the mornings.

Because, I was taking a day off. That's something I do not do often. I only take leave when it's unavoidable. And today was kind of mandatory.

I climbed off the stairs to find my mom cooking in the kitchen hastily.
"Ri-ah! Did you wake up late? I'm sorry my alarm went off. I couldn't even wake you up and I just – wait, my daughter's looking pretty today. Something's special?", Her expression transformed from worry to wonder and then into loving hearty eyes in a real quick. For a moment my mind took me back to Baek's call. Why did he call me Ri-ah? No one calls me by this name other than –

"Ri-ah ! Sit on the table already. You'd get late." Eomma's voice brought my mind back to the present. "I'm taking a day off, Eomma! " I care-freely dragged the chair and settle on it to dig in my favorite blue berry pancakes.

She turned around to look at me, "Really? You don't really take leave often. Aren't there any classes today?"

"I didn't look up to my schedule, Eomma. And you too are taking a half day leave today. We'll go shopping. It's been ages since we went out together somewhere."

She smiled lovingly, "It's really been ages since I have seen you like this. Looking genuinely happy. "

I just nodded with a wide teeth-y smile on my face. This time I was genuinely trying to be happy with my own self.