Evolution, a Spencer Reid/Criminal Minds Fanfic

Chapter 15. Homeward Bound

In the end, Hotch just wanted to get away from the Needles  police force. He appreciated their gratitude and admiration, but they were too happy, too emphatic about owing the feds a ‘big one.’ And Chief Mayhew had a jovial way of slapping his back that made Hotch’s whole body feel a little sore. He also thought it would be good to get Reid back to more familiar surroundings. He couldn’t really know what the young genius was thinking or feeling, so he used his own reactions as a barometer. Hotch always felt better after a case when he could drop the badge and gun and shed the suit. The only place he could do that was…home.

At the earliest opportunity they boarded the jet and settled in for the long flight east.

As they had on the flight out, the team sat close together, drawing comfort from each other. Again, Reid took a seat beside Hotch. There wasn’t much discussion. Most of it boiled down to asking Reid and Hotch how they were feeling. General weariness prevented them from asking the burning questions about how Reid had utilized his abilities. Soon, silence reined; each agent deep in his own thoughts. When J.J.’s phone chimed, their attention was drawn to the one-sided conversation.

“Jareau here….Yes…” Her eyes jumped from Hotch to Reid to a safely anonymous spot beyond the window. “Of course…I understand…Yes, thank you for letting us know.” She disconnected and took a deep breath, looking into the distant vista of lightly clouded sky.

“J.J.?” Hotch’s quiet voice demanded a response.

“She’s gone.” The liaison pulled herself back, exchanging the blank, blameless blue outside for the darkness of her leader’s eyes. “The girl…Sarah…died a few minutes ago.”

Silence.

“Excuse me.” Reid maneuvered his way to the aisle and to a seat at the far end of the cabin. He huddled next to a window, head leaning against the glass, back to his teammates.

Hotch rose. Rossi laid a restraining hand on his shoulder, pressing him back down. “Let me.” But Hotch refused to stay put. He followed Rossi and took a seat alongside him, opposite the younger agent.

Reid was aware of his companions and their concern. He kept gazing into the infinite distance, shaking his head in impotent denial. Rossi and Hotch could only watch.

“I was too late. Too late for any of them.”

“You couldn’t have moved any faster, kid. No one could’ve.” Rossi leaned forward. “We had a hell of a time keeping up with you.”

“You don’t understand.” Reid’s voice grew thick with unshed tears. “I’m a coward. Sarah died because I’m a coward.”

The older agents exchanged baffled looks. Hotch stepped in.

“Reid, you did what no one else could. How does that make you a coward?”

“I knew before we stepped into that room that I’d have to touch Brandenhoff. I didn’t. I let all that time slip by because I was afraid. That’s why Sarah died. Coward.”

“Alright, that’s enough of that.” Rossi was edging on anger. “I don’t know what happens to your…perceptions…when you do what you do, Reid, but I do know that forty-five seconds wouldn’t have made any difference in the outcome for any of the victims.”

Reid finally turned from the window, eyes damp. “Forty-five seconds? Rossi, I sat there for…” Confusion washed across his features. “…it had to be at least half an hour!”

The older agents looked at each other again.

“You’re gonna have to take our word for it, Reid. We weren’t even a minute into the interview when you grabbed that guy.” Hotch took a deep breath. “If anything caused a delay that might have made a difference, it was me trying to figure out how to reach you when you were…gone…lost. That’s on me, not you.”

“Forty-five seconds? You’re sure?” Heads nodded in absolute certainty.

“Enough.” Rossi addressed both the younger agents. “Blaming yourselves gets us nowhere. Reid, the bottom line is, genius that you are, you still have a learning curve. For you to expect to dive into a case in your present…circumstances…and know exactly how to perform in the most efficient, safest manner would be stupid. And that’s something even you have to admit, you’re not.” He angled his head toward Hotch. “As for you, Aaron, we’d still be trying to find those girls and Reid would be God-knows-where if you hadn’t been incredibly brave and self-sacrificing and, well, a little stupid, too. So, God bless stupid, noble-hearted leaders and gifted geniuses. Considering how it all ended, I’d say we’re the luckiest team in the world right now.”

Rossi’s voice lowered, softened. “As for your Sarah, Reid…you gave her family the tremendous gift of being able to say ‘goodbye.’” He rose and moved off to rejoin the rest of the team. “That is no small thing. Don’t you dare discount its value.”

Hotch and Reid were left regarding each other from opposite sides of the table. The young doctor decided to bring up one more thing that bothered him.

“You shouldn’t have come after me. You didn’t know what would happen. And you still don’t look so hot. Please don’t do it again.”

“Sorry, Reid. Can’t guarantee I won’t.” Hotch gave one of his smallest smiles, reserved for close moments that didn’t merit true mirth. “I guess I’m just stupid that way.”

xxxxxxx

Strauss had no trouble accessing the flash drive she’d pilfered from Garcia’s private stash. At first, she was puzzled by the iconic-looking avatars with Dr. Reid’s face and physical likeness. But Strauss was smart. She was good at connecting the dots. It didn’t take a brain of Spencer Reid’s caliber to tie the electric blue graphics emanating from his head and eyes to the eager message from an institute with the word ‘paranormal’ in its title.

At first Strauss didn’t believe it. If she was correct, the resident genius of the BAU was much, much more than that. She tried to consider the implications and found them numerous and fraught with potential. Not only did she have a weapon to use against Hotchner, but also an asset for her own promotion.

If this was what she thought it was, Aaron was concealing a secret of such magnitude, exposing his part in it should either permanently demote him as untrustworthy where the Bureau’s welfare was concerned, or sweep him right out the door, disgraced and unemployable by any other government entity. And if she were the one to present Reid as an indefatigable research-subject-slash-weapon, who knew where the Director’s gratitude might lead?

Strauss drummed her fingers and tried to calm herself. The possibilities were beyond exciting. But she needed more proof. She decided to bluff her way through an exchange with Hotchner; pretend she knew everything and see how much more could be learned.

She was confident the Unit Chief would let something slip. She’d been informed by some ludicrously grateful clod named Mayhew at the Needles police station that the team was on its way home. He’d also mentioned that the leader and another seemed to have contracted a virus, probably flu. Add that to the lack of sleep she knew they were all suffering since this case had come at the end of a long work week, and Strauss thought it might be enough to derail Agent Hotchner completely. She’d take advantage of the situation and enjoy watching him fall before her timely tactics.

xxxxxxx

Less than an hour into their return flight, Hotch’s phone buzzed. He snapped out of a doze to see the caller identified as Erin Strauss. Rossi gave him a drowsy look of inquiry.

“Strauss.” Hotch shrugged. She probably just wanted a status report from the field.

He was sure he could satisfy her with a brief synopsis. Then he could get back to the rest he so sorely needed.